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November 3, 2000 Well, actually it's around 3:11, but who's really counting? I actually like that song, even though it is by Matchbox 20. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah well. I have nothing of value to wax philosophical upon for you this evening, but I desire freshness to my content, I also desire hits to my page, but das cool. I got 3 hits from Australia the other day, 1 from York Pennsylvania, and one from boeing.com, which is quite interesting, though maybe only to me, so I'll shut up now. I have since I started typing, eaten a slice of pizza and drank a Mt. Dew, and I still can't think of what to say(type). One thing that does bear mention, I finally organized my archives a little bit. I took what little I saved from this last May and let it have its own page in my archives, so that I could move October's stuff into Residue until I archive it. March and April are still there, alive and kicking, but everything is a little more streamlined. CHECK IT YO. I completely let it slip my mind, Fig wrote a new column, mostly due to my bugging him I think, but hell, results are results. Here's hoping I can convince Jereme to write something this weekend. Mad Props© to Jereme once again for giving me a hand with the html shit on dis bitch, I was stuck using GoLive's layout grids and 2 different resolution versions of the site until he produced tables pour moi. It's only fair that I mention he first planned on teaching me tables last April, I half think he did it just so I'd stop asking about em, haha. Read Fig's column "badassedness," and all of your heart's desires will be fulfilled. Well, maybe not, but how will you know if they are fulfilled that it wasn't because you clicked through to his column? Apparently Rob Zombie has written and is directing a horror film, with the apparently intentionally cheesy title "House of 1000 Corpses." From what I've seen on the project, one guy over at IGN is all hot and bothered in a good way about this(if there is such a thing as hot and bothered in a good way. Me, personally, I am intrigued at the concept, his solo album is and was a work of art, beautifully quality shit, but does that mean the guy can even remotely scare me(using a movie- not his freaky hair)? I tend to think he might be able to pull it off, mostly thanks to his responsibility for the peyote hallucination scene in the Beavis and Butt-head movie(an underrated classic!). But I digress, I bring this up because of something I came to think of while reading the column on IGN linked to above. The author places horror movies on quite an exalted throne, and there is the implication that not a single horror film's been made in a long long time. When presented with Zombie's comment that basically no good horror movies have been made since the 70s, he mentions only one as quality, and it is a reference to a movie I have never in my 19 or so years of existence heard of. What even makes a horror movie, the one reference I saw of note to a true horror was Nosferatu, which granted, I have seen, and it is a freaky fucking flick(alliteration is your friend and mine), but it is in a word, dated. I love seeing the things that scared the bejesus out of people "way back when," but does the definition of a quality horror movie have to be dependent upon the classics of the genre? No, not especially when the impact a movie has is largely based on the effect it has on its audience at the time it is released. I am willing to bet that Psycho or The Birds or Nosferatu would've shocked and frightened me in their day, but as quality as the filmmaking is, society's sense of "scary" has changed immensely relative to what it was. After the age of about 12 or 13(rough estimate), it gets very very hard to scare a person unless they're just really "easy," to the point that a lot of movies no longer try to scare you, only surprise you. Most horror flicks are aimed at teens, and most teens seem to equate being scared with being startled, so much so that saying "you scared me" rarely if ever refers to actually being scared, only startled. The most popular modern horror films are those that throw twists and turns and people popping out of closets at the audience, because it's what a startling segment of the population believes being scared is. I wasn't scared by the movie Scream (though I loved the movie) nor do I do I know anybody who was, I was startled by it a few times, but never scared, and that was touted as the modern revival of the horror genre by many? Unfortunately, that's what most horror movies dish out these days, and in that I can see part of the claim's validity, but there are movies that are brand spanking new that've made me afraid to walk down my dark hallway after watching them. Many people didn't give the movie Event Horizon a shot in hell, and it got panned by most critics, but it's a genuinely startling(in a visual sense) movie, it grabs you and tosses some powerful images at you. It builds a large degree of suspense and dread, and frankly- scares you. That's where the concept of suspension of disbelief should come into play people. If you don't let yourself believe the movie, why even watch anything but documentaries. Scream is believable, huh? Is that it? Right. Wes Craven's New Nightmare, the most recent, and in my opinion, best in the Nightmare on Elm Street family of movies. I like most of the series, but the way the final movie separated itself from the over the top fantasy of the Nightmare on Elm Street brand mindset, and blurred the lines of reality and fantasy in the movie was brilliant. That little kid staring at an unplugged tv showing part of the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie in the middle of the night chanting "one two freddy's coming for you..." was ten times more frightening than Haley Joel Osment saying that he sees dead people. Halloween was a slasher flick, straight up, and the series diluted itself to no end from sequel to sequel, but the first is still the best, and the man responsible for the movie as well as the even independently chilling theme song was John Carpenter. He made quite a few bad movies in his time, (Village of the Damned remake anybody?) but he made a gem that very few people know of in there, In the Mouth of Madness. The movie takes an interesting approach, adding a slowly building plot to a slew of disturbing visual imagery that is sometimes used to startle, sometimes to shock. The plot also tries to blur the line between reality and fantasy, though it is confined to the universe of the film, unlike New Nightmare which uses the reality of reality as well. The examination of the subjectiveness of reality within In the Mouth of Madness is remarkably well conceived, and it raises a valid question- who decides what reality will be? It follows loosely along the argument of if insanity were the majority, those who are considered sane by the standards we see as sane are insane because they are not of the mental state of the majority- whoever has the pen and paper dictates history, and in this case, reality. Sam Neill is actually in both Event Horizon and In the Mouth of Madness, but his performance in In the Mouth of Madness is the best I've ever seen from him. The irony of the closing sequences is brilliantly carried by Neill's reaction to it all. His in that movie is easily the best performance I've ever seen in any horror film, hands down. It just so happens that these are the only 3 films of repute I can remember offhand that actually did a good job scaring me, but I think they represent a more palpable form of horror, one that just doesn't seem to attract moviegoers, because nobody is willing to suspend disbelief anymore. If you see a movie and go "that couldn't happen," and it's anything less than a knight in King Arthur's court dialing up to aol on his laptop, then you shouldn't watch anything fictional at all. The reality that exists in a movie is not meant to be your own, the universe-not your own. These people don't exist as the characters they portray, so why can't there be an allowance for fantasy? The Matrix grabbed people, and told them to not believe anything, it presented its fantasy(movie) as a form of fantasy(the Matrix itself) and people relaxed their defense, not worrying that Keanu Reeves can't jump that high. I am not saying that suspending your disbelief will make a bad movie good, but your unwillingness to do so will make you miss a good one because it isn't great. You shouldn't have to be told to let yourself into a movie's reality, just do it. If you hunt for flaws in a film after seeing one you won't enjoy it. How many people saw Star Wars: Episode 1 and only saw the appalling mistake that is(and will be, as he's coming back for episode 2) Jar Jar? I am not saying the movie is great, but it is no less believable than the original 3 movies. In all fairness, Lucas seemed to AVOID any character development, but the film was about a huge conflict and laying the foundation for what are epics(the first 3 movies are sequels to this set of 3 we are one into), how can you introduce every single character in the saga brand new and devote attention to each's character? The fucking movie would've been 8 hours long if Lucas had tried to do that. Star Wars had 2 characters to introduce at a time, max, think about it, luke, then after a while R2D2 and C-3PO at the same time, then a little later a little bit of Obi Wan's character, then a little later still Han and Chewie, finally Darth and the princess were it. Don't tell me about individual other characters, as I am talking main bitches here. In ep 1, you introduce qui gonn(George Lucas likes to torment people with impossible to spell names I am convinced)a young obi wan- who must be built from the ground up, the other princess, bastard Jar Jar, young anakin, the entire jedi counsel foundation must be introduced, as at least 2 of em are gonna be in ep 2, darth maul, the senator's existence must be included, a minor intro for C-3PO, a hint at Maul's mentor, a little of the native whatever they are's king, as he starts this alliance shit, and plus you have at least 2 major conflict scenes and 3 or 4 big ass action sequences that have to happen for shit to make sense in 3 movies that've already been made. Lucas has no leeway, he's already made the 3 movies, he can't say, "well, I'll do this later," or, I'll do this instead," it's kinda set, you know? I don't know why this movie was what I used as an example, maybe it's because I am exposed to Jereme's love/lust/frightening obsession for natalie portman, as is evident by this gallery he's created. Wow, I got way off topic, sorry about that, anyways, I was just trying to close by saying that if you're gonna pay the outrageous amount of money it costs to go to a movie these days, don't hamstring yourself from the start. Willing suspension of disbelief is a wonderful thing when used correctly and in moderation : ) -an addendum- it's 5:30 in the fricking morning- cool. -another addendum- it's about 6:30 now, I realized I need a way to get back here from the other pages on here, so there near the bottom you'll find the method, and on all other pages as well. November 9, 2000 Ha, I started writing this on the 7th, mid evening, and now here is is 3 am the 9th, as 3 am is apparently my favorite time of day now. This is a bit of a departure from my recent style, well written is not something you will be able to call today's content, because I couldn't give less of a fuck than about it than I do. Pleasant today, aren't I? This feels so much better, I enjoy ranting, I am much more acclimated to this than I am to intellectualizing minor issues. Okay, that language basically belies my point, but hey, you shouldn't know what belies means. If you don't, then you're dumber than you already are made to feel by those around you- miscreant (jasmine made me use that word, it's the last time, I promise). Click on Jasmine's name there to send either her or her away message an IM. I am angry, it's kinda fun. You never realize how much fun it can be until you experience it after a while having not. I enjoy the passion that normal things take on, the energy in my thoughts, the clarity is also fun. IT'S EVOLUTION BABY!!!!!!! As of right now it looks like the election depends squarely on Palm Beach County, Florida. The recount is basically an exercise in protocol, but there are 3400 votes in question due to a fucked up ballot that the election coordinator used in Palm Beach County. Before you get all pissy about it, NBC reported this almost as soon as their coverage started, and some action was to be looked into anyways, but now that 3400 votes would give Gore the election, it's all about Palm Beach. Gore will have the impetus placed on him to decide how much to pursue it, though independent of his campaign a group of those who placed the protested votes have already filed suit. Many people are calling for a revote in Palm Beach, which Bush would be a moron to let happen if he can stop it. The often discussed absentee votes from military personnel overseas is largely irrelevant, as in the estimated number of total "10 day ballots" is around 3-4000, and well over 4/5 of those are already accounted for, and that is assuming everybody who had an absentee ballot voted, irrelevant of who voted for whom. SO, the point is, unless you believe that 3600 elderly Jews would vote for Pat Buchanan, you are keeping an eye on Palm Beach, no matter which party or candidate you support. I'm sitting, I'm typing, I'm half smiling like the cat that just ate a mouse because while I write this, in the recount alone thus far, there is a net gain of 994 votes for Al Gore relative to Bush, but that is with not all precincts reporting, so take it for what it's worth. That isn't all or even most of why I have that sense about me. Most of it has singularly to do with the fact that I love being irked. Why am I irked? Don't worry about it, I have my reasons, and my reasons have me. You think I'm weak - But I think you're wrong That was pleasant for me, how about you? I feel like red, I feel like me, I feel like having fun, I feel like saying fuck you and slamming the phone down whether I'm on the phone or not, though especially when I'm on it. La la la la lee la la la la lie, all god's children- they've all gotta die. I long ago started writing this shit about something, I think it was the election, and I was thinking about other things, and so I stopped both things, and watched the election shit on MSNBC, because it let me exhaust what little ability to stay awake I had, and thus stop thinking about anything. I woke up to my imagination of phone ringing, then the phone rang, and I answered, and then after a while I hung it back up with no change in my own perception. No change in my perception is a good thing, though I guess that depends on who you are, and what you think my perception is. There is one person who knows my perception, which is interesting because each person who thinks they know any of it sees something different, and only one person is even close. If you're questioning who it is, I will give you a hint, his/her name(first last and middle included) includes more than one vowel in it. If you think you know anything about me, then it probably isn't you. That shit is totally irrelevant, but it came into my mind, and what comes to my mind is what ends up here, as this is my page, not yours. November 9, 2000- 2:44 PM About 12 hours in between attempts to fill this space ain't bad, I've had worse lapses. Since I first started typing on November 7th, many things have changed. What has changed? Oh, you would what to know that wouldn't you? Well, lemme think. Hmmm, well, I put all of my mp3s into winamp's playlist, so I have 646 songs listed, and you're right, that doesn't mean dick, it was just something to fill space with, and any problems you have with it, direct them to Jereme. Yes, that is an IM link, the most useless thing ever, but due to jereme's messages being funneled by him to me lately, I think it'll give him some fun. Hell, send him your comments on life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, whatever you like, he'll talk about everything. : ) I'm done now, and slightly less angry than last night, as I realized thanksgiving break is only about a week away, when i get to be home where the milk flows freely and the bed isn't 4 feet long. November 29, 2000 Let me start by saying hi, how ya doin? Let me also begin by saying that it was only a rhetorical question, and I don't care how you're doing. You don't matter- learn that and base your life around it if you haven't already. I don't know who you think you are, and you probably don't either, but whomever you become- you will never matter. now you know- this is what it feels like. I don't know exactly what to type here, yet I feel like typing it. I will insert the picture of Fig now though, then return to my prior train of thought.
The above is a slightly stylized version of the real thing. Click on the image to see "gangstay fig" in all of his glory and splendor. Feel free to send Fig email too, he loves dat stuff. If you didn't laugh at that, and have met andrew, then you have no soul, it's as simple as that. If Jereme managed to get me a column for the first time in about 7 months, his name is a hyperlink now, if not, he will soon perish of an as yet never before seen ailment soon to be known as "the assface disorder." If he does, well fuck, he won't, so don't worry about it. If Fig managed to get me a column, then his name too will be a link, and likewise Zach. If none of them manage to do anything, well, nothing unusual. I had a column from zach on October 5th, fig- November 3rd; which by coincidence is an interesting date in and of itself- but I digress, and jereme last produced material on may 9th. These are the same people who once asked me to schedule when I update so that they could have a regular "deadline." Fig has actually said he may never post here again for one reason or another, and Jereme has said that "he almost wrote one yesterday" everytime I have asked for the past 2 months. Zach, I haven't bugged about it recently, so I have no stories. Jasmine may give me something to post, which would be interesting. My other once possible mystery contributor never panned out, she just never got around to it. ONCE, JUST ONCE, I would like to have people give me something to post all at once, all new content, as it were, but alas, I haven't gotten more than one column new at a time SINCE FUCKING MAY. By contrast, what people once posted here all goes on dank now, which was spawned when my pc was down apparently, and even though I too have posted there, I have stopped recently, as nobody is willing to volunteer material for me, which, as they say, annoys the fuck out of me. Jereme is responsible for the streamlining of my site, admittedly, so I do owe him that debt of gratitude, yet he has many times tried to get me to post more often on dank, yet has gone a little over 6 and a half months while not even sending me a word. Interestingly enough, I had a feeling when dank began and I saw that what few remaining contributors I had were posting there almost exclusively that this little website thing of mine would become yet another deplorable personal "home page." See, I had a wonderful little thing going on when this bitch began, about 5 people gave me columns with some regularity, plus my content. It wasn't altogether that unique an idea, but it was at least a good read. Then Kos faded off the face of the earth, as did Meg. Fig and Zach alternate which one sends me a column each month, quite literally. As stated above, I got one from zach in october, and one from fig thus far this month. Jereme, well, he's jereme, and as is documented, may 9th is the last I've seen a typewritten word from him for this site. I had an offer from a friend who still would likely wish to remain nameless (even though she never sent me a single word to post) to write once or twice, and I had those 3 guys. Well, take a look at www.dank2k.org, every post on there right now is from one of those 3(all 16 of them), none of whom have sent me a sentence in recent memory. Most of them are jereme, but they are all from November, and there are at least 2 or 3 apiece from fig and zach. I have noticed no content from the inscrutable drama queen or from either of Bunker's personas there in recent memory, thus jereme is having to pick up the slack, yet he still has zach and fig providing content sporadically, and I know it annoys jereme that nobody is posting very often (now do you see what it's like? I have lost all of my contributors, not just a couple). Fig had said he will try to get me a column soon, but has much due thursday, so we'll see, no worries there. Jereme may never exist again for all I know. Zach's computer is dead again, but may yet give me some content, he did before when his shit went down. I am not "jealous" of dank, that has nothing to do with it, that's just representative, of the fact that these schmucks have stuff to write, yet have stopped doing that whole "column" thing for me entirely despite having material. Remember how I said I DON'T want this to become just another homepage, well, my next column will probably start out "hi, I'm nick, welcome to my web page." the way it's going. thanks guys. I am sending each of my once and possibly future contributors notice of this page's freshness before the rest of the world, ideally forcing them to provide content for once, but more than likely annoying each of them into never posting again. ah well, "I'm nick and I hope you liked my page, come back soon. Be sure to sign my guestbook. " (shudder)
  
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