Top 5 in Pistrix

All Top Five's in Pistrix

Late November 2000

Early November 2000

September 2000

October 2000

Top Five Movies in Pistrix

1. The Sixth Civil War
2. Salty Lies of the Sea
3. Follow That Booty!
4. Butler University
5. RSVP - Racoons Save Vacation Park!

1. The Delicate Persuasion of Innocence
2. Justified Margins
3. Space Monkeys From Kenkaria!
4. The Misadventures of Wally Sizlak and His Fantastic Whatchamado-y Machine
5. Bulter University

1. Fatal Discharge
2. Catapult!
3. I'm Down With The Up
4. Keep Shoveling
5. The Lazy Eye

1. The Mist of Love
2. Revenge, M.D.
3. Not THAT Monkey!
4. Catapult!
5. Keep Shoveling

Top Five Songs in Pistrix

1. "Oh, Beloved Pistrix Rap 2000" (Puff Scotty and the Funketeers, Booty Magnet)
2. "Bus Transit Slip to Hell" (Freak Toy, Reincarnage)
3. "I'm So Depressed That I Can't Hate Myself More" (Melancholy Shotguns, Today is Nowhere - Again)
4. "You Got the Goods/I'm Fertile Tonight"
(Smoky B. Fine, Lickalious)
5. "Can I Borrow A Feeling?"
(Burt Mack, Tripping Down the Road)

1. "Oh, Beloved Pistrix" (Craig Curtis, These Things I Believe)
2. "I'm Down With The Up of You" (Enrique Jean Claude, I'm Down With The Up soundtrack)
3. "I'm So Depressed That I Can't Hate Myself More" (Melancholy Shotguns, Today is Nowhere - Again)
4. "Instigation of Castration" (Freak Toy, Reincarnage)
5. "Oh, Beloved Pistrix Rap 2000" (Puff Scotty and the Funketeers, Booty Magnet)

1. "Can I Borrow A Feeling?" (Burt Mack, Tripping Down the Road)
2. "Melodic Colonic" (Freak Toy, Kill Me and Then Kill Yourself)
3. "Do Whatever Pistrix Commands" (The Angry Mob Chorus, Songs for Angry Mobs)
4. "I Can't Believe I Got You Pregnant"
(The 98.6 Degree Boys, No Holds Barred)
5. "Things That Rhyme with 'Purple'"
(The Gang from Blurple, Rhyming is Fun)

Top Five Songs in Pistrix

1. "Melodic Colonic" (Freak Toy, Kill Me and Then Kill Yourself)
2. "I Can't Believe I Got You Pregnant" (The 98.6 Degree Boys, No Holds Barred)
3. "Yo, Yo, So I Smoked The Cops" (Puff Scotty and the Funketeers, Booty Magnet)
4. "Crap is a Four Letter Word" (Dr. Newspaper Fork, Ass Jockey)
5. "Death Rattle and Hum'"
(Meloncholy Shotguns, Blinding Indifference)

Top Five Videos in Pistrix

1. I'm Down With The Up
2. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Mercury Muscle Tone Up
3. Drink It All, Kids
4. Mr. Skleenball
5. The Shape of Love is Oval

1. Emerald Shark the Movie
2. Those Crazy Teens
3. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Buns of Titanium
4. Ravage of the Needlesnakes 6: Needlesnakes in Anorak
5. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Plutonium Abs

1. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Plutonium Abs
2. Skinnimax Video: How Deep is My Valley
3. Ravage of the Needlesnakes: Collectors DVD Box Set
4. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Buns of Titanium
5. Human Soap Opera

1. I'm Down With The Up
2. Trauma-rama
3. Ravage of the Needlesnakes 7: Straight To Video
4. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Radioactive Biceps
5. Drink It All, Kids

February 2001
(Didn't actually appear in The Defender)

March 2001

January 2001

December 2000

1. Them Looney Pirates 3: Peg Legs in Gambling Town
2. Never Say "Shoot Me Again!"
3. The Happiest Pants of All
4. Justified Margins
5. Uncle Unreliable Warms Our Hearts

1. Firing Incoporated
2. Trapped in Especias
3. The Legend of the Lost of Emerald of Bikini University
4. Project Everything
5. The Good Independant Movie No One Will See

1. Justified Margins
2. Mr. Glee Saves Jebus Day
3. Operation Codpiece
4. Karate Dogs 5: Massacre in Snuggleville
5. Crisis In Phalisore: Monkey Do, Monkey Say

1. TV: The Movie
2. The Conspiracy Contingency
3. All The Ugly Children
4. The Funniest Skleenball Umpire
5. Justified Margins

1. "Merry Jebus Day" (Craig Mack, Happy Holidays )
2. "Jebus Hates Me" (Freak Toy, What's So Happy About the Holidays? )
3. "Talkin' Lottery Scam Blues" (Roscoe Merriweather, This Freewheelin' Land is Yours Too)
4. "Can I Borrow a Feeling?"
(Burt Mack, Tripping Down the Road)
5. "You're My Favorite Pistrix Groupie" (The 98.6 Degree Boys, No Holds Barred)

1. "All Hail Jebus" (Jebus, The Uncovered Recordings )
2. "Without Love I Can Only Say 'I You'" (Burt Mack, Tripping Down the Road)
3. "The Lunatic Monkeys & Mad Bomber Blues" (Roscoe Merriweather, This Freewheelin' Land is Yours Too)
4. "Buy This Single, Jerk" (The Angry Mob Chorus, Guess My Name, Jerk -- The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)
5. "(If I Don't Get Some Booty Soon) I'm Going to Kill Myself" (Freak Toy, Rap-Metal Homies)

1. "Go Go Go Go Go Go Stop" (Fab Ab's and Co., Skipping The Vast Gleam)
2. "I'm A Big Boy Now (and I Wear Big Boy Pants" (J.T. Bubbles, Farts are Happy-Talk for Hello!)
3. "Snides to Commies" (Roscoe Merriweather, Singin' For Your Frontyard)
4. "Sending Out A Warning of Love" (Enrique Jean Claude, Project: Everything Motion Picture Soundtrack)
5. " AssassiNation" (Freak Toy, Rap-Metal Homies)

1. "Tacos Are Just 49 Pisticks" (Taco Rama Chorus, Taco-Rama's Greatest Tunes)
2. "My House and Car are Really Expensive" (Biz-E Fly, The New Supreme Chancellor of Rap)
3. "It's Yellow 'cause It Loves You" (Colonel Fun, Catch up to Mustard)
4. "I Wanna Love Your Booty" (Enrique Jean Claude, Easy Songs For Easy Ladies)
5. "Bestiality Ain't Bad" (Freak Toy, Great Hits Suck)

1. Transparent Betrayal
2. When Clowns Combust
3. I'm Down With The Up
4. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Radical Rotator Cuffs
5. The Master Baiter: Learning to Fish

1. Captain Pirate's Log House
2. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Unbeatable Coitus
3. Skleenball's Wackiest Moments
4. History in the Making: The Great Minister Logan Blackwell
5. Jetstream and Friends Superhero Hour

1. "I Told You To Wack It!"
2. The Crazy Needlesnake Hunter: Best Episodes vol.2
3. Them Looney Pirates 2: Pirates Just Want To Rock!
4. Where Women Like It
5. Jiffy Cola: The Movie

1. "Stick It In Your Eye...": Fun With Learning Vol.3
2. Master Tang's Dodging Workout: Superior Ankles
3. Instant Abs: Just Add Water
4. Making a Better You: Throw Away That Old Face
5. Project Everything Documentary

July 2001

April 2001

May 2001

June 2001

1. Nitro! Nitro! Who's Got The Nitro?!
2. Ugly People's Revenge
3. Die On The Count of Three
4. Gravedigger's Union Day Parade
5. The Itch That Stayed For Dinner

1. AIEEEEEEEE!
2. The Leprechaun's Leper Colony
3. The Magic Buzzsaw
4. Hunger for Everyone!
5. But Which Mule is Which?

1. The Treason Factory
2. Special Patrol Unit: The Stabbing Police
3. Opera Cops
4. Yo, Grandpa!
5. Terminal Extremities

1. Mr. Sensitive Goes Down for Love
2. Opera Cops
3. Action Force 12 Part Two: Knee Deep in Action
4. Snuggle Bears Have Fun in Fun Park
5. The Old Man Who Bought a Balloon

1. "I'm Intolerant Against Foriegners ... For Your Love" (Enrique Jean Claude, The New Face of Music)
2. "Drugs Should Be Legalized" (The Drugs Should Be Legalized Band, Drugs Should Be Legalized Band Album)
3. "You Have Two Very Good Points" (Randy Smooth, Smooth - For the Ladies)
4. "That Emu is Not Mine" (Sally Sorid, The Mad Bomber Stole My Lunch)
5. "Why Did I Name This Song What I Did?" (Lester Bottoms, Mix 'N' Match Retrospective)

1. "I'm Drivin' Under the Influence of Your Love" (Burt Mack, Cowboys Hate Disco)
2. "Love Me in the Usual Way" (Madame Funkalicious, Truck Stop Lovin')
3. "Minister Rezac is Swell" (Minister Rezac For Supreme Chancellor Barbershop Quartet, Give Him a Vote and He'll Give You His Time)
4. "Fair Pistrix"(polka remix) (Malcom Cheerio, The Crown Prince of Polka)
5. "Feel my Raging Apathy" (Melonchaly Shotguns, Public Enema)

1. "My Heart Breaks For You Because Your Job Interview Went Bad" (Enrique Jean Claude, The New Face of Music)
2. "I'm Emailing You a Link to www.I-LOVE-YOU.com" (The 98.6 Degree Boys, No Holds Barred)
3. "Seeing Your Body Makes Me a Bigger Man" (Randy Smooth, Smooth - For the Ladies)
4. "I Can't Believe I Woke Up To You" (Long B. Gone, Upside Down the Right Way)
5. "Jebus Drinks Jiffy Cola" (Burt Mack, Please Buy This Album - I Need To Eat)

1. "Subjugate the Women (and Drink Jiffy Cola)" (Jebus, The Uncovered Recordings)
2. "I've Gotta Use My Heart with All My Heart" (Burt Mack, Project: Everything - the Original Soundtrack)
3. "Purposelessness Purpose" (Freak Toy, Someone Kill Us)
4. "You Have Two Very Good Points" (Randy Smooth, Smooth - For the Ladies)
5. "I'm Intolerant Against Foreigners ... For Your Love" (Enrique Jean Claude, The New Face of Music)

1. More Candid Explosions
2. A Deserter's Desert Desserts
3. Morlel: The Incontinent Continent
4. Making a Better You: Replacing Those Worthless Friends
5. The Man Who Shot Himself Because He Couldn't Come Up With Anymore Names For Video Titles: Episodes 7-12

1. Death Row Antics
2. The Curious Little Monkey That Killed Everyone
3. Master Tang: My Story
4. Making a Better You: Get Rid of That Annoying Personality
5. My Favorite Orifice: Best of Season I & II

1. From A to Equinox: My Life As a Poet, Bracken J. Batson
2. The Tale of the Loneliest Little Bullet, Maryann Summers
3. How to Make Untraceable Posions, Jim O'Brother
4. 101 Possible Reasons Why Women Don't Like You, Iggles Hobbyworth
5. Sharks and Beer: A Hillarious Combination, Zo Buttinol

1. The Noble History of Skleenball (Extra Bloody Edition), Hooper Humpson
2. The Creature That Ate Lots of People, Raks McGory
3. Crying Your Way Into a Woman's Pants, Burt Mack
4. Minister Logan Blackwell: Insane Bloodlord, Jack Zerac
5. Cooking Sweaty Meals With Randy Smooth (101 Ways To Eat My Sausage), Randy Smooth with Carol Farmerson, John T. Upmire, Willis Gingerbot, and Meels Hoju, M.D.

September 2001
(Didn't actually appear in The Defender)

August 2001

November 2001

October 2001

1. The Ugly Man
2. Coed Armed Assassins
3. Bacos, The Reluctant Swine
4. Terminal Lunchbox
5. The Repetitive Adventures of Hero Lad

1. The Brain Police
2. The Firing of Death Cannon #106
3. Lawful Displacement
4. Team 26
5. Girls Can't Play Skleenball

1. Timesweeping
2. Balls For Grandma
3. Leave it to Cleavage
4. Camouflage My Heart, 'Cause The Love Bombs Are Droppin'
5. Justified Margins: Episode I

1. Gleeok the Insoluble
2. The Splendid Seventeen
3. The Night the Communist Stripclub Brothel Exploded
4. Enchanted Shoeshine
5. Leave it to Clevage

1. "All I Ever Wanted Was Everything" (Enrique Jean-Claude, The New Face of Music)
2. "Cryin' Into an Open Wound" (Burt Mack, Cowboys Hate Disco)
3. "More War than Before" (Roscoe Merriweather, Singing for Your Freedom)
4. "Fate Cries for the November Criminal" (Burt Mack Jr., Poems for a Dreary Day)
5. "Why Stop at Hello?" (The 98.6 Degree Boys, Fingers in Our Hair)

1. "Gonna Dance Til' I Collapse of Exhaustion" (The Funketeers, Boogie Woogie Marathon)
2. "Filled With What Must be Love" (Smokey B. Fine, Underwear is Overrated)
3. "Joyride to Senility" (Freak Toy, Satan's Telemarketers)
4. "All the Joyless Cogs" (Electric Flavor, No Assembly Required)
5. "Runnin' out of Things to Say" (Burt Mack, Cowboys Hate Disco)

1. "Our Prequel to Love" (The 98.6 Degree Boys, Justified Margins Episode I Soundtrack)
2. "No One Left to Betray" (Melonchaly Shotguns, Angst for the Memories)
3. "Hump Day" (Randy Smooth, How Low Will You Go?)
4. "Tuxedo Bathing Suit" (Pill Poppin' Sugar Daddies, Swing Music is Cool Again)
5. "Ain't Got Time to Rhyme" (Madam Funkalicious, The Rushed For Money Sessions)

1. "Snides to Commies" (Roscoe Merriweather, Singin' for your Frontyard)
2. "No One Left to Betray" (Melonchaly Shotguns, Angst for the Memories)
3. "War Spelled Backwards is 'Raw'" (Randy Smooth, Things I Love to Do Backwards)
4. "Gonna Party All Night ('Cause in the Morning We're Going to Battle to get Shot)" (98.6 Degree Boys, Too Cute for the Draft)
5. "Armageddon Outta Here" (Freak Toy, Back from Reality)

1. Milton, The Spoiled Warlock Brat, Larry Patter
2. Who Invented Clouds? (And Other Unanswerable Questions to Make You Hate Hippies), Dr. Franko Freegood
3. Splashdown: A History of the Port Allegro Sewers, Lucy Lawbider
4. How To Be An Uncatchable Serial Killer, Sgt. Haber Struttles
5. To Serve Man, R. S. Willoughby

1. Imposter! The Real Story of Orrin Caglio, Baxter Hatchback
2. Why You are All Terrible, Chet Parabola
3. Words That Rhyme with Things, Linda P. Obvious
4. Inside Rats, Dr. Quincy Lancer-Grubb
5. Squishyville- The First 17 1/2 Years, Squishyville Enterprises- Publications Division, Section R, Employee 26D

1. UFO's and Why They're Real, Marvin McGavel
2. Our Mighty Ocean Part I: Water is Cold, Duke Bold Publishing Learning Series
3. The Harvey Sisters: Pirates of Pirate Canyon, Traci Smack
4. Puppeteers - Entertainers or Secret Society?, Marvin McGavel
5. 'Good Morning Lord Feces': The Wacky True Story of the First Monkey Arch-Pope, Oliver Klodesov

1. Men are from Kenkaria, Women are from Elsewhere, Bo and Lucy Shambles
2. Milton the Childish Warlock Brat, and the Strange Old Man in the Park, Larry Patter
3. Famous Catapults and the Things They Hit, Lt. Col. Buzz McSlagg
4. Our Mighty Ocean Part II: Slime and More Slime, Duke Bold Publishing Learning Series
5. Erotic Passages, Rolf Eleven

April 2002

December 2001

October 2002

March 2003

1. The Gentle Bunnies Go to
War
2. Chewing to Glory
3. The Splendid Seventeen
4. The Portley Patriot
5. Hang the Midgets!

1. It's a Wonderful Lie
2. Emperor Brianton and the Albanaudh Eight
3. Cop Out 2: Cops in Evilopolis
4. Blame Placers
5. The Day that Pistrix Stood Still

1. The Gory Adventures of Iron Ralph and His Sledgehammer
2. Mr. Glee and the True Meaning of Arbor Day
3. Them!
4. My Friend, Mr. Cookie
5. The Car that Sang and Killed

1. Lord of the Ankle Bracelet
2. He Did It for the Good of Skleenball
3. A Question of Bubbles
4. The Glory Days of Sexism
5. Gettin' Some at Party High

1. "Fair Pistrix" (Montedoria Symphony Orchestra, National Anthems of Lesser Countries)
2. "War is Glorious and Keen" (Pistrix Army Boys' Choir, Aim for the Crotch)
3. "Snides to Commies" (Roscoe Merriweather, Singin' for your Frontyard)
4. "I Wanna Be Your Toy Soldier" (98.6 Degree Boys, Too Cute for the Draft)
5. "Army of Finger Puppets" (Electric Flavor, Ambidextrious Pillowcase)

1. "Drunk on Love (I'm a You-a-holic)" (Burt Mack, Rehabin' a Good Time)
2. "Autopsy-turvey World" (Melonchaly Shotguns, Isn't it Necromantic?)
3. "Baby, You're the Best One Yet" (98.6 Degree Boys, Nookie for Two)
4. "I Told you So (theme to Blame Placers)" (Mr. Poo and the Stupid Heads, I Know I Am, But What Are You?)
5. "A Taste of Delight" (Randy Smooth, Hair from the Girl that Bit Me)

1. "No Shame in Being First" (98.6 Degree Boys, Nookie for Two)
2. "Drinkin' My Way to the Top" (Burt Mack, Rowdy for a Howdown)
3. "Morose by Any Other Name" (Melonchaly Shotguns, Angst for the Memories)
4. "Intermittent Humanity" (Electric Flavor, Ambidextrious Pillowcase)
5. "The Spankening" (Madame Funkalicious and the Funketeers, Women in Drag)

1. "This Time I'll Love You For Sure" (98.6 Degree Boys, I Didn't Touch Your Roommate)
2. "Splashing Tears of My Love" (Darth Bob and the Mellow Tones, The Gentle Nudge)
3. "Loving the Lunch that Smiles Back" (Electric Flavor, Hell Hath No Milkshakes)
4. "Polka Dot Pistrix" (Weird Al Yankovic, I Don't Exist in This Universe )
5. "Rappin' Around You" (Rap Master R & the Rappin' Rappers, Who's Rappin' Now?)

1. Milton, the Childish Warlock Brat and the Lucrative Movie Contract, Larry Botter
2. 117 of the Dumbest Animals Ever Hunted to Extinction, Harvey Hornblow
3. Let's be Frank: My Findings on Genetic Duplication, Frank Genome
4. Rectal Mishaps, Dr. Quincy Lancer-Grubb
5. Channel your Hatred into Woodworking, Paisley Backspace

1. Exposed! The Truth Behind the Story of Winter, Baxter Hatchback
2. Erotic Tales of a Hot Tub Repairman, Lou Brazzio
3. Train Chicken, and Other Stupid Stunts You Should Try, Chet Parabola
4. Our Mighty Ocean, Part III: Why Sand?, Duke Bold Publishing Learning Series
5. Life with Two Tongues, Mary-Ann Soberall

1. The Book of Jebus: Part 2!, Jebus (Forward by Greigor Itma)
2. Lawyer Rob and the Skanky Stenographer, Verne Van Peepholez
3. The Deadliness of Meat, National Soy Council Newsletter
4. Passions of Shame, Rolf Eleven
5. Guide to Buying Your First Dentures, Dr. Edwin Smiles

1. Milton the Childish Warlock Brat and the Thing that Ate His Shoes, Larry Botter
2. How to Be a Success by Reading This Book, Stanley Swell
3. Prostitution: An Oral History, Chauncey Biggins
4. Our Mighty Ocean, Part IV: Revenge of the Starfish, Duke Bold Publishing Learning Series
5. Confessions of an Emu Scratcher, Demo Moor

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