Horde of monkeys occupy New Phalisor

Leper Colony in Glorious City, off the coast of Hateburg, calling for independence
Should an event of critical importance take place which would require quick and decisive action, such as a military attack, terrorist incident, armageddon, or other significant happenstance, the Supreme Chancellor has constructed the Crisis Room deep within the Republican Palace to serve as his command post, with the latest in communication and survival technology, so that the will of the people of Pistrix can be dispatched in the most expedient and brutal fashion.

Due to a slight bureaucratic oversight, this highly critical and classified area inside the Palace cannot be restricted to public access.  According to the government's contract with Happy Tours, the tourguide company which provides public tours of the Palace, the wing of the building in which the Crisis Room was built cannot be closed to their tour groups.  As a result, the Crisis Room is open to the public, though it is asked that visitors not divulge any of the scores of highly sensitive information found throughout the room, and that they remain silent during any actual crisises. 

Thank You.
Condition: Normal

Special Conditions:
blockading monkey infested town of New Phalisor		 Condition: Lazy

Special Conditions:
none		 Condition: Ultra Normal

Special Conditions:
on duty as Chancellor's personal guard in Anorak
Condition: Normal

Special Conditions:
on patrol near Hateburg
Death to our enemies and fair-weather friends
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