Boy-crazed Girlie rams her way into first place with upsets

St. Louis had not won a game all season, and Oakland had not lost a game.  But that didn't stop D.J. from picking the struggling Rams, who shocked the powerful Raiders 28-13 to put Girlie into first place for the first time in her six-year career.  She was also the only person with the underdog Dolphins, who kicked a game-winning 53-yard field goal in Denver.

D.J. entered the league in 1997, but frequent distractions such as video games, cute boys and trips to the mall lessened her commitment to excellence in the Sunday Picks.  But she apparently has learned to juggle it all, so watch out!  Girlie has seized first place while continuing her indulgence in mall-hopping, PlayStation games and those hunks of the opposite sex (she's got a new boyfriend!).

With a 50-31 record, D.J. leads defending Picks champion QT Pie by one game.  However, football experts don't believe her recent surge to the top will be sustained in the long run.

"Pro football and bee-bopping around Yorktown simply don't mix," said NFL analyst John Madden.  "You'll end up picking teams with the coolest helmets or fanciest uniforms.  There isn't much football knowledge you can gather at Claire's Boutique or the Gap."

Relationship experts, though, believe D.J. has the capability to maintain first place if she channels her youthful energy in the proper way.

"It's a proven fact that one teenage girl produces enough hormonal electricity to power Las Vegas for five days," said love advisor Dr. Drew Pinsky.  "If D.J. can direct just a fraction of that energy toward the Sunday Picks, she could blow the top off the league in no time flat."