QT's advice to Browns: Keep your %!@&#!% helmets on!

A last-minute touchdown (1), two overtime losses (2, 3), a shocking win by a lowly expansion team (4) and a brainless fool throwing his helmet during the final play (5) gave defending Picks champion QT Pie a quintet of losses when she could have gone undefeated in Week 1 of the 2002 Sunday Football Picks.

Although she remains cute as can be with a fancy new haircut, QT had to settle for a first-place tie with a 9-5 record.  What stung the most was that deep thinker on the Browns, whose boneheaded helmet stunt with no time left on the clock gave the Chiefs one final play -- a game-winning field goal.

2002 Picks champ, er, veteran contender Blaine tied QT for the lead, but his record was blemished even before the games started because he jotted down the hapless Bengals.  Doh!

Deejmeister was the only person smart enough to go against the solar-powered Buccaneers, who obviously lost to the underdog Saints on a day of clouds, showers and storms in Florida.  Check that weather forecast, people!

Pa had the last laugh -- and quite possibly his only laugh of the season -- when the new Houston Texans surprised the old Dallas Cowboys Sunday night.  His upset special has pulled him briefly out of his solo spot in the musty cellar, where the cleaning crew occasionally needs time of its own to fix up the place.  They'll leave the light on for him.

The Little Bird was all smiles when the hibernating Carolina Panthers snapped a 15-game losing streak as she had bravely predicted.  Ali's Cardinals, though, did not soar in Washington, and that helped ground Mark, too.  Nickster and D.J. both flew high with the Jets in Buffalo.