Osama wreaks havoc on favored NFL teams

The FBI is on the case after the NFL favorites turned in a pathetic 4-11 record in Sunday's games -- the most losses ever compiled in one week by favored teams.  Preliminary reports indicate a West Nile epidemic in locker rooms, and a terrorist connection.

"What else could explain this nasty turn of events?" said Tom Ridge, director of U.S. Homeland Security.  "Do you think the Rams, 49ers, Steelers, Chiefs, Colts and Vikings all lose at home in the same week without someone tampering with their health?  Not likely unless Osama's involved."

According to agents close to the investigation, a team of terrorists led by the infamous Osama bin Laden released virus-carrying mosquitoes into NFL locker rooms last week.  The favored teams and biggest stars were hardest hit by the West Nile virus, also known as the Mount Prospect virus to certain nutballs.  Many experts had thought bin Laden's next move would be a biological attack or national monument catastrophe, but no.

"He apparently decided to strike America where it hurts the most, bringing our treasured NFL to its knees," Ridge said.  "Now there's chaos among fans, oddsmakers and team owners.  If we reach the point where the Bengals can beat the Rams, I will order the entire league shut down.  I refuse to subject any decent football fan to that kind of punishment."

As a precaution, Vice President Dick Cheney has been whisked away to an undisclosed secure location with quarterbacks Brett Favre and Kurt Warner.  The trio is playing Jenga and snacking on Cheez-Its and assorted crackers until they come out of hiding for this Sunday's games.

A few of the Picks contenders happened to have the West Nile virus as well.  The virus allegedly caused Blaine and Nickster to pick the hapless Lions and Ravens, which lost by a combined score of 56-7.

(Disclaimer:  The fictional story above is intended solely for the members of the Sunday Football Picks, and should not be considered a legitimate lead for real FBI guys.)