The SOAPBOX:
Glacier Water and the Japanese
Gentlemen of America, we have a problem. Our technology is coming from Japan. Our cars are
coming from Japan. Our sushi is coming from Japan. Why? Because their technology and cars
are good. The sushi...not so much.
Why is this a big deal? It's not. Japanese influence has become such a strong influence on
our lives, we no longer consider where our goods come from, whether they be Japanese
techno-savvy, or made in an Mexican sweat shop.
But I'll tell you why you should care. Water. Oh, yes. America is now importing Japanese
Water. It's not just any water...no...it's GLACIER water.
That's right. I said 'GLACIER.'
You, the reader, probably don't understand why this is an issue. I shall enlighten you.
Think of a glacier as a giant block of ice. This giant ice block was formed over thousands
of years, gradually collecting water and freezing it so that it may grow. The water that
you are now drinking is coming from a melting glacier that the Japanese have acquired from
Russia, because the Russian economy is so unstable.
As we speak, a Japanese company has set up shop in Siberia to melt these glaciers so that
you will drink Japanese water, and not American water. Think of the ramifications of this
enterprise! Russia is missing out an impressive supply of income from the glacier water
that Japan is capitalizing on. Siberia will no longer be a freezing, desolate environment
to send the evil political opponents. Global warming will skyrocket, causing a chain
reaction that will melt the Polar Ice Caps and flood the entire earth, all because Russia
got scammed over a simple glacier!
But, that's not the worst part. What is America doing? Absolutely nothing! Nothing at all!
Japan should not be allowed to capitalize�no�MONOPOLIZE in this market.
The bottom line, America, is that we should melt the glaciers in Alaska and sell the water
in cheaply made plastic bottles to sell worldwide at a fraction of the Japanese cost.
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