THE END TIMES

VOLUME III || ISSUE 2 || DECEMBER 5, 2005

Wal-Mart Buys Out Santa!

Light Up Siloam 2005

JBU Used Car Lot To Be Constucted!

Siloam 2nd Graders Replaced With Elven Entertainers

C.S. Lewis To Speak In Chapel

Defending the Dollar: Greenspan to be Replaced by Schwarzenegger

The SOAPBOX: Glacier Water and the Japanese

Dear Phrank

To the Little Man

Other Little Things...

END TIMES HOME

JBU Used Car Lot To Be Constucted!

Efforts to make up for the low enrollment and tuition money this year are in full swing and JBU officials have approved plans to convert the old tennis courts by the Valley Road into a used car dealership. The 'Golden Eagle Auto Emporium' is scheduled to open on SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! January 22nd, 2006. A Spokesperson for the project had this to say: "We believe Siloam Springs has a severe lack of pre-owned vehicle businesses and we intend to fill that void with one of our own." The Kwanza Hut is set to be converted into sales offices and outfitted with a giant inflatable pink gorilla on top. The Auto Emporium will offer a wide range of vehicle types including those with outstanding tickets owned to Campus Safety. Credit problems? Apply for one of several available workstudy salesperson positions and get three credit hours and pay no interest until 2008**!

**studentswillactuallynotrecieveanycreditandwillbeforcedtostayanextrasemestertograduate
andrequiredtorefinancetheirstudentloanpackage

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