THE END TIMES
VOLUME II || ISSUE 3 || APRIL 20, 2005
Existance of JBU Bubble Proven!
Obituary:
Robert Matthew Fraser
Budget Forces Computer Downgrades!
Swamp Thing Plagues Campus!
In an interview with a member of the Board of Trustees, the subject of possible construction work near the base of the hundred steps came up.
"JBU can't build there, because it is technically considered wetland. Construction work could run into all kinds of environmental complications--and there is always the risk that we may discover a rare or endangered species inhabiting the marshy areas. That's why we're better off not building down there."
But now the administration's worst fears are being realized. Students have reported seeing what has been dubbed the "Swamp Thing." The Swamp Thing is between 5' 7" and 6' 1" (depending on which convenience store he's leaving), and resembles a fully grown man. While no campus officials were available for comment, some students were able to come forward with what little bit they knew.
"I was walking back to J. Alvin the other Friday-around midnight," says one anonymous student, "when suddenly, like, I heard these grunting noises coming from around the construction site. I also could smell something foul and rotten. It was dark, but I could barely make out a figure that alternated between walking normally and kind of scooting over the ground. I yelled something at it; it turned, looked at me, howled, and then ran for the edge of the hill. The last I saw, it was leaping through the air, into the vines and bushes that grow on either side of the hundred steps." Another student tells of seeing the creature late one evening while doing a project for a photography class.
"I was down by the intramural field--probably about 7:00 or 7:30 p.m.--shooting some pictures of shadows on the grass and flowers. I remember I was at the base of a tree, examining some wildflowers, when I heard a thud behind me. When I turned, I saw a dark, hairy form running away from me toward the hundred steps. I guess it was above me, in the tree, the whole time. I was only able to get a couple of pictures off before the thing disappeared."
Officially, the JBU Swamp Creature is still a mystery. But this is not the first report of a mysterious animal in Arkansas (Google "Fouke Monster" for more info). In the mean time, just remember to play it safe around the intramural field.
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