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THE END TIMES VOLUME II || ISSUE 3 || APRIL 20, 2005 |
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Existance of JBU Bubble Proven! Obituary: Budget Forces Computer Downgrades! |
News BitesDistraught Shepherds Stage Protest Area Shepherds recently staged a protest against Aramark Corp. Craig Undersson, who owns several pastures east of Siloam and heads the local chapter of the Sheep and Goat Caretakers of America, claims that by serving "Shepherd's Pie," Aramark is guilty of defamation of shepherds everywhere by implying they have bad taste in their eating habits. The SGCA says that they are willing to discuss the issue with Jim Nabors, and hopefully reconcile this issue peacefully. Junior Lucinda Biggerstaff suggests that Shepherd's Pie be removed from the menu completely, and that the Caf should find better ways to get rid of leftovers. Bush Family Today a secret ET source buried deep within the White House substantiated recent bubble-buzz by confirming that the Presidential daughters, Jenna and Barbara, will be attending John Brown University for the 2005-06 School Year. Sources close to the President emphasized that he believes strongly in the Head, Heart, and Hand philosophy of JBU and denied all reports that the President had, in fact, confused the school with Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. |
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