THE END TIMES
VOLUME II || ISSUE 3 || APRIL 20, 2005
Existance of JBU Bubble Proven!
Obituary:
Robert Matthew Fraser
Budget Forces Computer Downgrades!
Existance of JBU Bubble Proven!
Community. TWIRP. The JBU Bubble. These are all part of the JBU lingo, but recently one of these has proven to be more than university slang. Scientists have recently discovered that the JBU Bubble does actually exist! "We were doing some tests regarding environmental degradation, and we got some really strange readings around the campus grounds," claims Dr. Job Davidson, an expert in the field of electromagnetic energy. According to these tests, the John Brown campus is surrounded completely by a type of magnetic field, which alters time and space within the bubble. "We haven't yet determined the exact nature of the bubble, but it has a lot of the same readings that you would find surrounding a black hole or a worm hole." Effects of this bubble besides altering time and space lies in the sheltered and sometimes secluded feeling people get inside the confines of the campus. When interviewed, many students confessed inclinations to the bubble's existence prior to the test results. Senior Josh Hapsburg commented, "I've always felt sheltered here. Almost tangibly, sometimes." Others, such as Freshman Shandra O'Malley disagree with sentiment, who says, "I have to say that life here on campus is pretty much like life everywhere. After I graduate, I imagine the interactions with people, the rules, and whatnot will all stay pretty much the same. JBU is the 'real world', in my opinion." In an interview on the subject, Dr. Jim Blankenship commented, "What an age we live in!" Causing even more confusion, apparently the bubble is actually a portal to another dimension. "Yeah, it sounds crazy. Plus, I don't have any scientific evidence to back it up. But trust me, it's there." Controversy has been the result of this discovery, most of which stemming from the fact that Dr. Davidson graduated from secular universities. "He's from 'the real world'," says Sophomore John Reilies. "That place scares me."
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