Page 1

�If I had a prostate gland, I�d give it to you� Kim (A compliment, I believe)

�It�s just refill� Kim
�...you�re just refill� Kate (A terrible comeback)

�He paused for us!� Kim (On Mr Newton � it�s kind of the �goal� to get him to talk to us. When we wander around instead of doing Classics, we see all sorts of people � who stop and chat. But Mr Newton usually keeps going. One day he �paused�, and had a conversation � a big achievement)
�The semen goes into the egg and makes a baby� Mr Newton (He�s talking about the Roman Catholic Church � the analogy is sort of lost of me though)
�Have you MET your father?� Kate (On Bushfire�s Dad)
�The snail is called Nige cause he has no friends, and everyone calls it a faggot� Kate (Implying the snail was Mum)
�It�s alright, I like my own company� Mum (we were playing the game �What would you rather be� and I was trying to convince her out of being a snail, and instead to be a fly � but she was adamant that she woudn�t be swayed)
�He�s more of your ageing 70s liberal� Mr Newton (On Larry)
�We�re gonna beat you up with wet newspapers till you sing� Mr Newton (Being a �bad cop�)


Page 2

�Look, you can�t just annull this marriage cause you�ve got your eye on a hot bit of totty� Newton (On Henry the 8th)
�It�s a survival mechanism, Kim, it�s nothing personal� Larry (On sarcasm)
�I�m lacking in that department� Ward �Your language leaves a bit to be desired...sir� Kim (To Mr Ward � with utter distaste oozing from every pore � the �sir� was an internal struggle, you could tell)
�To get rid of wastes. What was I on? What was I talking about?� Ward (As if we were meant to know!)
�And I used to think, who is that man who bellows so?� Kim (On Larry � when we were in Miss Latham�s History class and you could hear Larry through the walls)
�I wish food grew on trees� Leea (In a moment of stupidity)
�No wonder that dog is traumatised and has a very small penis� Mum (On Quasi � there was a period when we laughed at him because Sid had a bigger penis and he was small)


Page 3

�He�s trying to cheapen my ties. He�s like that� Larry (On Mr Randell when he told someone Larry�s ties were cheap ones from Thailand)
�More sussectible to erosion� Ward�s geo notes (We think he meant susceptible)
�It�s warlock powder! Don�t be fooled!� Kim (When Mr Newton was giving out chocolate fish. Kim had somehow decided he was secretly a warlock. But I remember that she ate the chocolate fish anyway)
�Let�s just keep it legal� Mr Weston
�The journey�s huge and I have to go toilees� Mum (I had a dream that Dad took me on a long journey up a mountain, and on the way we looked at huge pools full of hippos � and Mum was interpreting it for me out of her �Dream Interpretation Book�. She�d just read about cars, and hippos, and had gotten to the section about journeys when she threw the book down and yelled this from the hallway)
�The truth burns Kate. IT BURNS FROM YOUR MOUTH� Emma (Very angry Emma � and I hadn�t done anything, she was just bored. I�m scared of her when she�s bored. )

�Why hasn�t Woody Allen come to visit us?� Kate
�Why isn�t Ben Kingsley my husband?� Kim
�Why isn�t life perfect?� Kate (A random stream in Geography)



Page 4

(At the movies)
�Someone threw a lolly at me once and I ate it� Emma (A random stranger had thrown a lolly at her � and she ate it � sick bro)
�I can�t speel for shit� Rico (She seriously spelt �spell� wrong accidentally � not as a joke!)
�Oh the shame of my dumbassness� Rico (After I laughed for about 10 minutes about the �speel� incident)

�I cried in Wallace and Grommitt� Emma
�Why?� Kate
�Because the penguin was out of control� Emma (Fighting back tears)

�It�s me!� Kim (Looking at a picture of Henry 8th and his six wives � we believe she is the reincarnation of him)
�I got 10 cents but it�s kinda sticky� Nicole (Hmm...an impressive offer)
�I love being a woman� Willow (After talking about women in history)
�So do I� Mr Newton (Sometimes he frightens me � but in a good way)


Page 5

�Is this all black and white?� Leea (Watching King Lear. This was an HOUR into the movie and she only just noticed it was black and white � showing how much attention we pay in English)
�So, going over to your mates place and rarking it up with him and his granny, is not tourism� Mr Ward (Trying to make Geography more exciting, or something. Perhaps he was putting it into layman�s terms)
�I�m just a frustrated bank teller� Larry (This is actually his personality � I swear � this is the job that most fits him as a person)
�So, if someone has authority over you, legally they can say, No, you can�t go to the supermarket� Becca H (In History � we were defining authority)
�It�s like when Victor Kahu tells the ordelies to move, and they don�t� Newton (Talking about the Justices of the Peace in 1558ish England, relating it to Shortland Street)


Page 6

�I nearly died myself� Rico (On heavy lifting � she means killed herself � I think)
�We�re the pimple on the butt� Ward (On New Zealand�s place in the world � someone had said that we were the butt and he had gone one better)
�When you get old, you start losing it, you think, I�m a psycho� Ward (A tourism lesson � on psychocentric tourists � who prefer more gentle and relaxing activities. A lot of older people are psychocentric tourtists)
�One thing led to...251 others� Mr Newton (On Annabel Chong � the woman who slept with 251 men in 10 hours � we spent an ENTIRE history period talking about her)
�What was he? A mere horseman with nice legs� Mr Newton (On Robert Dudley)
�If any sarcasm is said in this room, it comes from ME� Larry (When Kim was being sarcastic � she was treading on Larry�s territory)
�I wanna be naked Tom� Leea (I forget where this came from)


Page 7


�There�s the hand thing...� Becca H
�What...hand thing?� Kim and Kate
�Well...he has little hands. Stubby.� Becca H (On Bjane � she was summing up the good and bad points)

�I felt the need for �chocolate�� Kim (Her answer to a survey � �Why did you drive with a restricted driver� � we thought it would be fun to make it porn)
�Do you want to enter the draw to be a waterblaster?� Kate (I�d been at work all day, asking every damn customer if they wanted to enter the draw to win a waterblaster. So it kind of got muddled by the end of the day. Needless to say, the man I asked this to was confused)
�Mission accomplished...but not to a high degree� Kim (About Becca�s weekend with Bjane � the mission was to get him into bed)
�Maybe you put it in sideways� Kate (On Becca H and Bjarne�s weekend)
�Probably about 5...he has potential...he�s handy...and he�s fixing my laptop� Becca H (Summing up her relationship with Bjarne � the �5� reference is a mark out of 10)


Page 8

�Since he�s...so well equipped...I couldn�t get the hoozy wot on� Becca H (More Bjarne stuff)
�I think my lube has feelings� Kim
�I feel sorry for it...there�s a good little lube� Kim (On her cinammon lube from the porn shop)
�You�re depriving it of it�s destiny� Kate (About Kim�s lube � she wasn�t going to use it)
�Oh...I�ve got a mullet...and I�ve got no shoes on� Jason (About �cool people� � I don�t really know what he was talking about because I wasn�t listening)
�You need some ceetification first� Ward (On dolphin watching)
�I�m gonna go flagilate myself� Ward (In a moment of stress)
�That�s my dream job � towing trailers with a 4x4. And learning English. My nouns need work.� Nigel

Page 9

�Half the freaking Maoris in New Zealand don�t even have T.V.s cause they spend all their money on weed, so what does it matter� Alana. (On why Shortland Street should stop speaking random words in Maori. Seriously, it�s like �Do you want to pick up some _______ for _________ because otherwise we will all turn into a bunch of _________!� It makes very little sense and is very confusing)
�Get in my belly! That�s what she�s going to do� Alana (Prediction on what Rachel of Shortland Street was going to do)
�I would have protected YOU if Rachel was strangling you in your dream� Kate (To Kim � a compliment)
�I always wished a German countess would stop me in a bar in Amsterdam and change my life� Newton (Randomly)
�So we can just lay our brick, in a piece of wall History� Newton (Metaphors galore)


Page 10

�Seriously, if you cut off your boobs, and grew a penis, I�d think you were Kevin Bacon� Kate (To Kim � another compliment)
�No, Mum, I�m QUALIFIED to run away with the band� Willow (On being a groupie � I said that she really just wanted to be a groupie at heart. She said that she was going to University anyway, to get a degree before she went to be a groupie. Then she could say she was qualified)
�Well...stop spiting my face� Kim (Something happened and I�d said, �You�re cutting off your nose to spite your face� and she replied with this)
�I�m not the most attractive aspro clear drinker...you might want to turn away� Kate (I make funny faces when I drink aspro clear � like when I eat a sour lolly - I was worried about Kim�s fortunes)
�Jug of wine, oh, jug of wine� Larry (He started singing this randomly)
�You can�t win with avocados, can you?� Alana (Very despondent about this, she was)
�I�m so angry that I�m sick. I was SO looking forward to tonight. Maybe I should stop looking forward to stuff� Rico (Poor Rico)


Page 11

�He had like...belts...and what not� Kim (Saying how good her brother was at karate)
�Cry...little Larry...come, come to the desk� Kim (To the tune of Cry Little Sister)
�See that ginger moustache fly� Kim (About Larry)
�His name is Larry, he is a showgirl, with yellow feathers in his hair, and a dress cut down to there� Kate (This always makes me laugh because I can see, in my head, Larry in a dress with yellow feathers in his hair dancing. It�s like my happy place or something)

�Oh, divine daughter of Dimitri...� Laura (In Classics)
�Demeter� Larry (Correcting her)
�I know, I was being creative� Laura

�Life is shit. Get over it.� Bushfire (Her motto of life)


Page 12

�The pie is a pretty fat laden nutritional proposition anyway, and with cheese...too much� Newton (I love how he doesn�t say �fatty�, he says �fat laden nutritional proposition�. I need to start reading the dictionary so I can become wordy)

�Do you like your other class better, sir?� Kim
�No, I hate you all equally� Larry

�What would Rob do if he walked on you and me getting with each other?� Hayley (To Leea, out of nowhere � be afraid)
�Oh, look at you little...sardines in a pod� Hayley (I think she�s getting her cliches confused)
�We want the Olivani� Newton (He was trying to give us an analogy of essays � he said that Becca�s essay needed to be trimmed of fat, i.e. waffling.)
�I don�t like Hayley with produce� Leea (Neither do we, Leea. Neither do we.)
�He sounded fat and ugly� Hayley (Her professional opinion, I guess � reading someone�s attractiveness off an MSN conversation)


Page 13

�You and her vibe can go out and have a little vibey party� Becca H (I told her I was getting a bad vibe � that she hated me � and this was Becca�s response)
�It haunts me still� Newton (On Willow�s favourite childrens book)
�Do they have police where you come from?� Kimbee (To Shinsuke � Kimbee doesn�t really do the math � it�s not like he comes from Rwanda)
�Can you guys please stop putting me down on those purple things? I don�t actually like you� Mr McDermid (About the referee sheets)
�Yeah, I would have gone smackity on the ear hole� Mum (This is her threat)


Page 14

�It doesn�t matter, she�s going to hook up with me anyway� Mr Ward (On why he chose not to buy his girlfriend a dress for the Kiwifruit Ball)

�Can I have the list?� Kim
�Ok� Newton (Oops! She was asking me for the list of the top 250 films, and Newton was eavesdropping. He then went out of the room and came back with some list that we were meant to have done, or something, so we sort of had to pretend that we knew what he was talking about)

�...original poo hole quotes� Kim (A compliment on the Quote Book)
�Ladies split� Laura (Her term for plumbers crack on girls)
�Yeah, they posed nude, but they were all butch lesbians� Leea (On a group of soccer players that posed nude �seriously, I thought it was a mixed gender team)
�I have to find a salt and shecker paper� Alana (We were absolutely mental at Bayfair, and she said this accidentally, and we both almost fell over in the aisle of K-Mart. I came close to wetting my pants)


Page 15

�Fuck that question � if you get it in Bursary, just kill yourself� Becca H (On an English question)
�Who wrote those swearwords on the board?� Becca (I�d written on the board �Geography Is Fun� to try and make Mr Ward not make us do any work)
�I think that when the blue people fall down, it�s good� Emma (Interpreting Rugby)
�We shall serve him the seasoned steak. If he eats it with a venegance, he is BASIL� Emma (We were walking back from the rugby, this is halfway down Lambton Quay � a very busy street in Wellington � and she YELLS this at the top of her lungs. People seriously crossed the road to get away from us)
�You are taking the number ones, 12 days in the forest, you are� Mr Ward (To Kim � I think it was an insult)


Page 16

�You know that you lose your sexual appetite if you eat too much rice?� Kate
�Well it bloody doesn�t have an effect on the Asians, I�ll tell you that� Alana

� �The play appears to be full of both types of roles�. What the hell kind of sentence is that? Stupid 20 out of 20� Anna de Fluiter (Her critisms of a King Lear essay)
�Dieties � that�s what Jupiter goes out on� Larry (Get it � dates/dieties � hehe)

�How much does a tie cost? Not in Thailand� Zarna
�Yeah, in New Zeal...and� Willow (Larry has this...funny...joke where when someone asks him where he gets his ties from, he says �Tie Land� and it�s not funny)

�James was a proper, �See You Jimmy� Scotsman� Newton (I have no idea what he was talking about, but I�m sure it made sense)


Page 17

�GO TWIN BICCIE� Butops (At the talent quest � in a moment of complete silence, where only Twin Biccie was on the stage. Perfection. No one could have bettered it even if they�d prepared)
�Blood is thicker than the alcohol you drink with your friends� Willow (Updating an old saying � no one says �Blood is thicker than water� anymore, and were debating how the water thing came up anyway � are friends watery? Do they have blood instead of water? Do they drink more water?)
�It�s like...stop! Go! Do you bring that to bed honey?� Willow (On the sexiness of lollipop men)
�He�s too tall to be nude� Mum (About Jeff Goldblum � I don�t know if her predujices against tall people is really called for. I think it�s because she� s short that she has to knock Jeff down)
�Yeah � she knows she can�t compete with the Hamburgler� Becca H (Wardy calls her the Hamburgler because she works at McDonalds and her last name is Hambling. Not that it�s relevant, but he also calls her �The German� because he things for some reason that she is)
�I need to urine, but I�m going to hold on. I�m going to hold on, for the rest of my life. Dah dah dah dah dah dah, da-da-da-da-da dah dah...� Kate (A song)


Page 18

�...and then when I die-hi, it will be uncomfortable, for the coroner, and his table. Dah dah dah dah dah...� Kate (The second verse of my song)

�Yeah, not right now. I�ve got stuff to do� Alana
�Like what?� Rachel
�Home and Away�s on� Alana (Rachel wanted to sort out their relationship issues � and Alana didn�t really want to � it was easier to be mad at her)

�It�s a he-Bushfire� Leea (On this actor guy who had orange hair � it really was a he-Bushfire)
�Is anyone in my Bio class that doesn�t do Bio?� Hayley (A moment of stupidity for Hayley)
�Can you imagine if we got scholarships in Geography? Mr Ward would die! His hair would grow!� Kim (On the impossible)
�What�s wrong with you, you silly retard who smells like the method of cheese� Emma (This was an insult. Good one)


Page 19

�Oh my God, look at Belle. I�ve never seen her so mad� Girl (These two girls were behind me and Emma in the line at the movies � discussing random things � believe me, it was hilarious. She was looking at this poster of Beauty and the Beast � in which Beauty had a big frown on her face. She was completely serious and she seemed offended that Beauty was upset. Oh dear Lord)
�Who on Mars could that be?� Man in porn movie (Someone knocked at the door, and this is what he said. But to be fair, it was porn, and dialogue�s really not that necessary)
�It�s just like a little palm tree out of nowhere� Alana (On the penis in the porn movie � the guy still had his pants on, and it confused her)

�I wish I had a dance card� Emma
�I wish I had a dress� Kim
�I wish I was called Tree� Kate (Watching Kate and Leopold)

�You�re the ultimate mother humper and I�m just a lowly brown hymen� Kim (We were watching �Tremors� � where the phrase �I killed that mother humper� was used. We decided it would be a compliment. And at the same time we were having a discussion about hymens � as you do � and yeah)
�Hymen! Think fast!� Kate (I don�t know)


Page 20

�3/4 of stuff all people go to Bolivia� Ward (This had something to do with tourism, I think � just imagine using this as a fact in a Geography essay)
�You stupid brainy retard� Kim (Her insult to Kerryn)
�When you clench it�s like...bumpy� Alana (Her thoughts on cellulite)
�I�ll shout you dinner� Man (On Shortland Street)
�And then he�ll probably try to slip her the tongue� Emma (A bit too much information, thanks)
�Ohh....you big....sir� Kim (It was a compliment to Ward � I think she was aiming for �softie�)
�Can�t do two things in boy� Ward (A hot afternoon, he got a bit confused � we won�t comment)
�Hey there god...talk to me� Larry (This was him trying to invoke a god)
�Excuse me Larry...what does one don when one takes a paddle in the reeds, if you know what I mean?� Kim (We were trying to figure out if he wore a speedo or shorts when he went swimming)


Page 21

�My sister jumped on the roof, ripped her shirt, and now her arm�s bleeding � and she thinks it�s cool� Kimbee (Her randomness that appears as if from nowhere)
�White mother nigger!� Kimbee (This was her insulting Leigh across the Quad � the embarassing thing is that people must have heard her)
�Why does the word �enjambement� remind me of Silence of the Lambs?� Hayley (I have no idea)
�James, you�re not my flavour of the month anymore� Larry (To James � he�d said the right answer to something earlier, and Larry was all impressed. But then Larry found out that James had just copied the answer off someone that did it last year)
�It� s like, ooh, what shall we do? Let�s throw lemons at a sheep� Becca H (She has issues with people throwing things at sheep, like lemons and potatoes)
�So you can jump over someones fence and hang out in their garden, if it�s in the Queen�s chain?� Emma G.P. (Newton has found this legislation that says you can be within a �chain� � ten metres or so � of either side of a river. It doesn�t matter if the river is on someone�s property)


Page 22

�I have the busiest leg� Rico (At work � randomly � it came out of nowhere I swear)
�Hi, this is checkout speaking, Sarah?� Sarah (We have this stupid �script� of what to say when we answer the phones at work � Sarah was tired and screwed it up)
�Nobody�s gonna touch my pants, nobody�s gonna move me over� Emma (To tune of �Break My Stride�)
�Dude...did you tuck it under?� Emma (At work � me and Rico were debating Dave�s pants � and how anything could...fit...in there � they were like sprayed on, but with no room inside. It was flat. I got home and told Emma, and this was her response)
�Does anyone else find the sound of lawnmowers in the morning particularly mournful?� Newton (A random statement in the middle of a history lesson)
�Why can�t Newty be the avenger who destroys them all?� Kim

Page 23

�I told the missus, it�s the smokes or the legend� Ward (Getting his girlfriend to give up smoking � he makes her call him �The Legend�. Apparently at this proposition she chose the smokes and he had to rephrase it)
�Does anyone want to tell me what a distribution of means is? Scott � you look kind of excited� Mr McDermid
�You�re a judger! You�re Judge Judy! You�re Judge Willow!� James (To Willow)
�I don�t like her � she wrote an autobiography about Quails � what the fuck are you?� Alana (On Fiona Barnes)
�Quasi, here�s the deal. You fall off the chair, I help you back on, you bite my teeth then vomit on me� Emma (Poor Quasi was confused)


Page 24

�No chafing, none of that, its very good� Newty (On Kilts)
�The Warehouse is, I tell you, it�s like, here�s a lolly and here�s a spade� Kim (On the Warehouse)

�You make me feel sorry� Kim
�I�m not sorry� Ward (A tad confused)

�Yeah, that movie, with Kirsten Dunst � I think � and there was a plane� Rachel (She was trying to get me and Sarah to guess a movie with a �cute guy� in it � she couldn�t remember ANYTHING about it though. Eventually we found out it was Crazy Beautiful)
�Hey man, crank out the rod� Hayley (On sea fishing)
�She�s just a fucking user...no offence� Hayley (On Rachel)
�It�s like, what the fuck are you doing? I�m crapping on my lawn� Hayley (We had this HUGE discussion about the time that Deb swallowed her bracelet � and what we would do for an expensive bracelet. Eventually we came to the conclusion that you would probably have to poo outside then sift through it � yes I know it�s gross � and then we thought how funny it would be if someone walked past)
�I don�t like rude royals. You just don�t need that in the monarchy� Hayley (She was very upset about this)


Page 25

�Bushfire�s not very freckly is he...she?� Leea (She thought she could cover it up, but no)
�It�s like, what do you do for a living? I break up poo� Hayley (She was talking about her Dad�s...issues...in that area � and how they had a piece of wire next to the toilet. Eventually we decided it should be a job)
�That�s a movie I could have NOT seen. I won�t recommend it to fellow students or peers� Alana (On �Happy Campers� � a very fancy statement from Alana)
�You�ve gotta get the bones and suck them dry. Like the Australapithagins about a million years ago� Weston (Started talking about poetry � went off on a weird tangent)
�I am the Language Queen! Yeah baby! Another word for baby is infant. Um..child...post foetus? Kate (Showing my vocab skills � Kim calls me the �Language Queen� � I came up with some synonyms � ah, I have proven myself)


Page 26

�Look bitch, be honest with me, don�t shag me till you get a test� Hayley (On how to ask your loved one to get an STD test before having sex with them � this was her subtle way)
�The moral of the story is, don�t get an STD and have to wear a tongue condom� Hayley (If this is the moral, I don�t want to hear the story!)
�So Hayley, would your school of masturbation be theory or practical?� Kate (Hayley has a dream of making a �School of Masturbation�)
�A bit of both. I, of course, would be an instructor� Hayley (There is no one like her in the whole world)
�Ugly orange smelly Boris� Kim and Kate (Our new name for Larry � he was being mean)
�He...he�s...there� Kim
�Hold me� Kate (On Larry � we were mad at him � and he was standing next to our desk)
�I love the way poetry feels...against my body� Kim (Being Mr Boyle � cause he makes EVERYTHING sexual. Seriously. We read some poem about NATURE and he made it porn. And he sat there throughout the whole thing eating a cold sausage. I was gagging)


Page 27

�It�s like woodstock!� Willow (On the ancient Roman festival of Anna Perenna)
�I love hole punches. They make me feel like a woman� Kim (Randomly)
�You must have been a bit...itchy� Elise (Mr Ward scratched his �area� and no one saw but Elise and Jane � who started laughing � and then Elise had to explain why she was laughing)

�My name�s Emma, I smell like a piece of shit� Kate
�Yeah, that smells like roses. Shit-Rose, with a capital S� Emma (Okay....)

�His father was called Philip the Two� Sarah (on Alexander the Great)
�Who made up the saying �Bloooooooody hell?� Alana


Page 28

�Not only is Mr Ward a fag, he used to have an Asian boyfriend who went hoick hoick� Mr Ward (I can�t remember how this came up)
�To get myself in the mood I usually read a volcano book...gets me going� Mr Ward (Hmm)
�Alexander solved all most of his problems with speed� Larry (Haha I think he meant that he moved very fast, not the other interpretation)
�Yeah, I called it catapillar crossbone� Alana (On her �drink� she invented when she was little � it was orange juice and lemonade mixed together. She even had a recipe that was pretty much �pour into glass� �mix with spoon�. )

�Don�t you think our deputy principal looks like Walter Matthau?� Kate
�I think he looks like Hitler� Emma
�How does he look like Hitler?� Kate
�He has a moustache� Emma (And it�s not even a toothbrush moustache � just a moustache)

�A tidy ship is a happy ship� Alana (This apparently is her Dad�s favourite saying when he is on his boat � she unfortunately has picked it up and when we were on her Dad�s boat it was all we heard)


Page 29

�What is Christmas Jones� actual real name? Bronwyn?� Alana (After seeing the Bond movie with Denise Richards in it, she now ONLY refers to her as �Christmas Jones�. It has gotten to a point where she has forgotten her actual real name)

�What are we doing with the boat when we go into the supermarket?� Kate
�Leaving it on the car. I�m not bloody well taking it into New World� Alana (We had a dinghy strapped to the top of Alana�s car, and we had to buy some marshmallows and beer)

�Your tassels keep hitting me! Stop it!� Alana (I was wearing this yellow top with ribbons at the end of each arm, that were hitting Alana�s arm. They weren�t really tassels)
�I just want to hug the boat...but I can�t� Alana (Mournfully)
�I�ve got no neck! I�m Sean Fitzpatrick!� Alana (Watching the video of the boat trip, she proclaims this)

�What should I play next?� Kate
�Your ass tambourine� Emma
�I meant a song, not an instrument� Kate
�It is a song. �Your ass tambourine, bro, ass tambourine� Emma (She sang this for about ten minutes. There were no other lyrics. Just these ones, over and over)



Page 30

�My mum is honestly a junk whore� Leea (About how she goes to the markets a lot and buys a lot of junk)
�It�s gonna be weird man...blimin car noises and shit� Alana (On the music of the future)
�Maybe he could smell my desire to bum him out...before the day is through...I shall do it� Debra (On bumming out Eric)
�Ok...I have to clean myself� Bushfire (After Rachel�s party with the �boys�)
�I want a MAN! Not a sensitive bitch� Alana (On James)
�It�s amazing how you forget you need to go toilet when you�re asleep� Alana (Yet another wisdom!)
�As you can see, I don�t give a flying uterus about this car� Alana


Page 31

�Be handicapped. Go!� Kate
�Uhhhhhh� Alana (We were parked in a handicapped parking spot in the Bureta Trust carpark, where we had to wait for an hour before we could go inside the Tea Dance. Anyway, this family walked past and the father had a big go at us because we didn�t look handicapped � so every time anyone walked past from then on Alana would make this dying animal sound, to try and �appear� handicapped)

�Are you going to be handicapped for that guy?� Kate
�No! He can go fuck a pole!� Alana (This guy she �knows� from the tea dance � and I think he may have heard us)

�Do you like scary movies?� Alana (To this random Asian couple, who I don�t think spoke any English � Alana�s wearing her Scream mask and hiding in the car. She then pops up and goes �Blaaaa� to scare them, then asked them if they like scary movies. They just walked away and didn�t comment)
�Did you see that man? He wanted a pornographic love affair� Alana

�So will it slice up cucumber?� Woman
�Yeah, ok� Nick (His good sales technique � just say that the product does ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and you�ll get higher commission. Even if it�s a milk frother)

�We should just overdrink and then kill ourselves� Alana (On a plan for Christmas day)
�I�m not up with the local hip hop scene...I mean I�m not down with the hop hop� Alana (Her ghetto speak, I think)


Page 32

�I�m gonna call my children AMF...Alana Milson Friend� Alana (But what happened to Mini-Alana?)
�See, I�m glad I�m not a big fat masturbating insane man� Kim (We were watching �Quills� � and this big fat insane man was spying on these girls doing something � I can�t remember what. Anyway, he was all...excited...and...yeah. Later on in the movie he got hit over the head with an iron. Hence why Kim was glad she wasn�t him.)
�Fuck man! What the fuck�s wrong with you? Eat a fucking steak!� Emma A (To a vegetarian � tact is obviously not a strong point)
�Ticker tape� Mrs Sinclair (Me and Bushfire were talking about Mrs Sinclair and the way she used to say �Ticker Tape� in her Manchester accent � and we were laughing for hours)

�Oh Larry� Kate
�Is there another like him?� Kim
�No� Kate
�Thank God for small miracles� Kim (Kim has it wrong here � Larry is not a small miracle at all but an impressive one)

�I�ve got my key � now lets scramble� Mikayla (Playing Kula World � lets scramble?)
�No spikes. This is paradise� Mikayla (Playing Kula World � how a playstation game can be paradise I don�t know)


Page 33

�Do you know what? I had a morobar. It was so gross. I�ve never thrown out a morobar� Debra
�Maybe I stood in the shower and a crab bit me. Stupid crabs.� Sarah (On why her foot was bleeding)
�I wanna inject your se...um ok� Alana (Suddenly realising that she had gone off on a strange tangent)
�I think I�m gonna be one of those people that wear shoes all the time. To make people uncomfortable.� Kate (Seriously, I think people that wear shoes inside all the time make others feel uncomfortable � you never know if they�re going to just get up and run away and never come back � because they haven�t relaxed into the atmosphere and are essentially just visiting for a short time)
�I bet it�s just because he�s so sexy...he HAS no talent, we�re just blinded by his hotness� Emma (On Tom Hanks)


Page 34

�I�m cuteness, hello� Woman on Change of Heart
�German people eat supper� Emma (I don�t really understand what she was trying to prove)
�It must be scary if you are a mechanic and you have to roll yourself under the car, you know� Kate �Yeah, especially if there was a bat under there� Emma (I don�t think she got what I meant)
�He�s an STD farm� Leea (On short pants guy - ew)
�You�re a shit stirrer you are...you�re gonna stir shit in a pot for a livin�� Alana (On my addiction to compulsive lying)
�You just can�t help but stare, can ya� Nicola (On Nick�s penis � apparently it�s quite large)

�You�re so funny...giving that customer your life story� Kate
�You could see her tits� Sarah (Always the eloquent and classy broad)



Page 35

�I have a sore leg too, due to condensed milk� Bushfire (I thought she was insane, but she was actually talking about a CAN of condensed milk that had fallen on her leg, not condensed milk attacking her or anything)
�Oh...the moisture� Bushfire (We were having a conversation about what would be the most painful place to get a body piercing. Then I wondered if, seeing as metal conducts electricity, piercings would conduct electricity. I asked Bushfire what the worst place to be pierced in, should you be electrocuted, and she said nipple. I begged to differ with my suggestion of...feminine areas...and Bushfire was soon to agree)
�Don�t you like a good root?� Alana (On Evil Dead � this is actually quite clever! She�s referencing the scene where a girl is raped in the woods by a tree � yes, a tree � it�s roots come out and sort of have sex with her)

�What should I get Mickey for his 21st?� Debra
�A...uh...sport...hat?� Kate
�I�m so chuffed I asked for your advice� Debra (Poor Debra should never have come to me)

�Stupid STI ridden sluts. Why don�t they just rape each other?� Leea (On Rachel, Nicole etc)
�In the jails, they�re all caucasians� Alana (On why she�s racist � she doesn�t know what the word means � Bushfire and I were thouroughouly confused. I asked her why she was so racist, and she was talking about how the caucasians are causing all the crime. Bushfire explained that the word �Caucasian� meant a white person � and Alana was a bit embarrased)


Page 36

�What colour foundation would Hayley use?� Kate (I was trying to give Bushfire my �Honey� coloured foundation and Bushfire said it was for black people, and that she used �Fair�. I then asked what Hayley used, as she is so pale)
�Just use twink� Bushfire


�What time is it?� Kate
�The dogs back� Emma
�It made sense in my head� Emma (Hmm...insanity? This doesn�t make much sense)

�I need to defrost my hands in the sun� Rico (After she had been working in the garden and her hands were cold)

�Now you can get YOURSELF something� Playstation
�As opposed to what?� Kate
�My vagina� Bushfire
�Is your vagina particularly expensive?� Kate
�Yes, yes, it likes a nice perfume� Bushfire

�Kate fell in the water ha ha ha� Bushfire (This actually happened � we were boarding the dinghy to row out to Alana�s Dad�s boat � and Alana let the rope go and I fell in. Fully clothed. Then she wouldn�t let me back in the boat so I had to hold on to the back and swim to the boat � in shark infested waters!!)


Page 37

�Gill Fish� Alana (On Bushfire�s Mum�s maiden name � her maiden name was �Fish� and her name is �Jill� � hence Gill Fish)
�I�ll go home with someone tomorrow night just to piss you off� Bushfire (To Alana � I love how Bushfire has no problem compromising herself JUST to annoy Alana)
�Emma Fish � that is your alternate name� Alana (On Bushfire)
�You always take the bait � along with the fish and the gills� Alana (To Bushfire � who got mad about the Emma Fish thing)
�You better bloody well not go home with someone tomorrow�or I will too� Alana (Yep, another one who has no problems compromising herself just to irritate her friend)

�Alana, you realize that YOU have a vagina� Kate (When she wouldn�t talk about it)
�Yeah, but I�d rather call it something like�chump� Alana

�No, no, I haven�t put it on my person� Katie (When she lost her phone � and you thought only old people said that!)


Page 38

�Look�there�s a tinted person� Mum (On a Maori man)
�Tinted? What�s wrong with you?� Kate
�Fine then. You find me an inoffensive derogatory term for an indigenous person� Mum

�Good morning. Welcome to the bones reading� Emily (In the afternoon, quite strangely � added to the fact that she said it in a slightly possessed or maybe hypnotized state � quite frightening)
�It SMELLS like the sea� Miri (On why the harbour reminded her of the sea � um�it IS the sea)
�Is that blue?� Belinda (About a boat)
�That guy�s short. Ha ha ha ha� Belinda (In front of him, no less)
�I�m kinda cold. Can I nestle in your crotch?� Kim (An offer very hard to refuse)
�I wanna be your cleavage shirt� Kim (I can�t really remember what we were talking about)


Page 39

�Some people play in a fountain. We projectile vomit off a boat� Emily (About orientation activities � UniComm did something in a fountain, and we were on a harbour cruise on the ferry and thought it would be fun if we all projectile vomited off the side. We didn�t, though)
�It�s like when you do an embarrassing thing in public, then repeat it several times so it looks like an everyday, normal activity� Emily (For example, tripping over � just repeat it a lot of times and it looks like you walk funny)
�Hello�washing� Kim (Doing the laundry � she opened up the machine and said this in a somewhat flirty manner)
�Oh, they�re wearing pants. I didn�t know they wore pants� Kim (On actresses)
�Why couldn�t it have been Emily?� Kim (On when I �died� in the Oregon Trail game)
�He looks like a broomstick� Katie (About Jason � his hair)


Page 40

�I�m such a potato� Katie (Random insult)

�I�m so embarrassed. People are gonna think I�m such a screw� Emily (On being in the Quote Book)
�Have you SEEN what I�ve said in there?� Kim
�Why? Is it weird stuff about cheese?� Emily (Yeah�because that�s the most probable explanation)

�You know what really sucks? Playing chess with two year olds� Carly
�So it�s like, amphibian memory� Carly (On Rainbow Fish � memory card sort of game)
�Sorry dude, I didn�t hear you. What did you say? I couldn�t hear you through the snot blow� Kim (How attractive!)
�Will these nostrils ever cease?� Kim
�I cannot talk to you. I am an artistic tree� Kim (We were discussing ways to get rid of Leigh � and this was one � to pretend that you were a tree and just not talk to her at all)


Page 41

�Maybe she got tired� Kim (On why Belinda was home early from staying at Francis� house)

�I smell like lunch� Carly
�Why, what did you have for lunch?� Belinda
�Nothing, that�s the problem� Carly

�Man it was really loud last night, it woke me up� Carly
�Oh, I didn�t hear anything�oh wait, I wasn�t here� Belinda

�I�m such a gumboot� Carly (Mocking Katie�s �I�m such a potato�)
�I think snails actually have quite a bit of personality� Emily
�Yeah, I saw Chicago�it was a bit too musical for me� Miri


Page 42

�Yeah, I always keep some parfait with me, just in case of a parfait emergency� Carly

�Have a good sleep then� Belinda
�Oh, I�m not really sleeping�oh goodnight� Kate (Trying to make someone go away by faking sleep)

�Oh, I always wondered why they were called corn chips� Katie (When Emily mentioned that corn chips were made of corn)
�Meal mate, my meal mate, how do I love thee, let me count the ways�one� Carly

�Why does everyone hate me so much?� Katie
�It�s cause you�re from Matamata� Emily



Page 43

�Would you like some lubricant?� Belinda
�No� Carly
�Oh�can I have a jelly baby?� Belinda

�Who�s got a Visa?� Belinda (On Carly�s bank card)
�Me� Carly
�Oh so is this a Visa?� Belinda
�That�s why it�s got a Visa mark� Carly
�Oh, I just thought some people did it to look pretty� Belinda

�My Grandfather was a Poppo� Kate
�What? Your grandfather was Popeye?� Emily

�I�ve come from Alabama with a banjo on my hand�� Carly
�What, are you going to slash a polar bear?� Carly (On knife hunting on the Oregon Trail)

�Miri, did you have a good night?� Belinda
�Yes! I spewed seven times!� Miri (Obviously the mark of a good time)

�Your cutlery always attacks people� Emily (When Kim�s knives and forks rained down onto her)


Page 44

�Shut the door�or we�ll get raped by an RA� Keiran
�Then I�ll have to get my $2 for some run-out-of-the-world coke� Belinda (When she gave me the rest of her coke and I tried to give her $2 � and she said that it�s not like the world was running out or anything- then said that)
�I cried�like a fucken cryer� Belinda

�You know those Pasta Snacks we got? What do you do with them?� Miri
�It�s on the back� Other girl
�Yeah, but how do you cook them?� Miri

�Do pink pens work like normal ones?� Kim (Being Miri)
�Damn the infernal mouse� Kim
�I have a mullet gene� Carly
�If I gave my dog candy it wouldn�t bitch and moan� Kate (On E.T. game)


Page 45

�I�m so sick! I�m C-E-I-C-K� George (Via Carly � some foreign guy she knows)
�Carly is SO nice to me. And she�s a girl� Katie (Being _____ writing in his diary)
�It makes me explode with yayness� Carly (On E.T. theme song)
�How are you going to work for NASA if you can�t put a flower together?� Carly (To Kieran)
�Ow�my spine is digging into my ass� Carly

�What does Harrison Ford�s mum look like?� Kate
�Like an old wrinkly person� Carly
�He does aye � he smells like an old wrinkly person� Kieran (Obviously not listening at all)

�It was the cinematography� Kieran (On why he cried � change that to bawled � through the end of E.T.)
�I�m glad I�m not sharing a room by myself� Kim


Page 46

�I�m healthy of being sick� Dian

�You�ve never had a snifter?� Katie (To Emily)
�Am I like a virgin to you?� Emily

�Goodbye�don�t speak to any strange boys�oh�little Emily is growing up� Kim (When Emily left to go to Uni)
�You�ll be like�Mr Bean� Dudley (On Kim doing Art History)
�In film�you�ve got like different areas�like yeah�pretty much� Dudley (Proving his stupidity)
�You dick! You stole my weights! Dudley, not you� Miri (As if I thought she�d be talking about me � when Dudley was standing there holding her weights�)
�I�ve been in my room�making flowers� Katie
�Maybe it�s just not a Wednesday joke� Emily (When no one laughed at my pathetic joke)


Page 47

�Your Dad sounds fun� Kate
�No! He�s a big sack of�poo� Carly (She�s an English major�3rd year�honours student�and this is the best insult she can come up with)

�Ju-juitsu � is that like Jewish martial arts?� Random chick in dining room
�Bleah�� Carly (Ok long story behind this one. Carly said something amusing � I have absolutely no idea what it was � and Kieran thought it was hilarious enough to include in the quote book. So he spent about five minutes deciding how to spell the end part � bleah � and wrote that down. By then he�d forgotten what the first part was, and the end part was already written down, and because it was too much of a big mess to rectify, Kieran just left it there)
�I�m not a guy� Kieran
�If I come back dripping wet, will you do me?� Kieran (To Carly � but don�t worry, he�s talking about his hair�I think)
�The departure of Uranus from your romance zone..� NW�s star signs (Carly found this absolutely magically amazing)

�Oh, I love you Kate and Emily!� Katie (When intoxicated)
�What about me?� Miri
�Kate and Emily � it�s like one person!� Katie
�What about me?� Miri
�Wow�it�s Janie�s door!� Katie

�What�s Carly gonna do when he dies?� Kieran (On Harrison Ford � he was a bit miffed that Carly cares so much about The Harrison)


Page 48

�Did you have a good night last night?� Miri
�No, cause everyone kept me up� Carly
�Oh�what does that mean?� Miri

�I�ll just wear pants on my arm� Kate (Carly had decorated her entire leg in permanent ink � in some sort of tribal pattern � and then she did the same to my arm � and to cover hers she put pants on)
�Sleeping in coffins�that�s just sick� Miri (On Interview With The Vampire � she picked THIS as the sickening thing over drinking blood, killing people, keeping a child young forever�the list continues)
�You�re so perceptive!� Miri (We were all watching Six Days Seven Nights � and there�s a bit where the filmmakers are trying to show turbulence in a plane by having the camera jolt up and down. Carly said that the cameraman must have fallen off the front of the plane, joking, and Miri replied with �You�re so perceptive� � causing the entire room to have to bite their lips for a good ten minutes)
�There�s so much water� David Schwimmer (In Six Days Seven Nights � flying over ocean � good call, dude)
�You have snot up your nose� Dian (To Miri � being the ever subtle person she is)
�Go�team�bed� Carly (This was her attempt at helping to make the bed)

�Suck on my banana� Kieran (To Carly at dinner when she insulted him)
�What, is that because you don�t have a dick?� Carly



Page 49

�It�s just like a tumour� Kim (On Carly�s chest � she was talking about how her denim jacket constricted her bosom and then proved it)
�I�m in this book so much�I really need to grow an IQ� Carly (On the quote book)
�Brian, Brian, wherefore art thou Brian? A Dennehy by any other name would smell as sweet� Carly (a.ka. Romeo and Juliet � this was her Brian Dennehy phase)
�Wouldn�t it be nice if the world was Brian, then we wouldn�t have to Denn-eh-heey� Carly (To the tune of �Wouldn�t It Be Nice�)
�That scamp! When will he ever learn?� Carly (On The Harrison)
�Hi we�re Kim and Kate and we share maintainance scissors� Kim


Page 50

�I had a friend who was Indian�actually she still is� Belinda
�I�m so glad there is someone like Miri�no one�s gonna get annoyed at me� Dian

�I wonder when Kieran�s gonna get back with his apple squares � he�s probably gonna wrap them in�� Kate
��love paper� Dian (This was so funny � Kieran was planning on buying Carly apple squares as a love token, and we deduced that he would wrap them in love paper. The love paper was imagined as white paper with love hearts and pictures of Kieran on it. Then he arrives with apple squares in a white paper bag � no love hearts or photos � but Emily says �Wow, that�s nice paper� and me, Dian and Emily laughed for about ten minutes while Kieran sat there utterly confused)

�Oh, and I went on this bike�but it wasn�t a bike�you know� Miri (About the gym)

�You�re in love with her� Dian (To Kieran about Carly)
�No I�m not� Kieran
�Well you�re in lust with her�her and her boobs� Kate
��yeah� Kieran (Didn�t even try to hide it)


Page 51

�I want a penis� Kieran
�I�m a mutated peanut� Kieran

�What�s your favourite colour?� Kieran
�Tuppence!� Kim
�Sparrow!� Carly

�My pen is giving birth� Kate
�We�re just gonna stay over here in our mutual cheeseburger eroticness� Carly
�He likes sex. Any kind of sex. He�d root a chair� Belinda (On Francis)
�I�m a bit full for sausages�but go music� Carly (Supporting the Wellington Brass Band�s sausage sizzle)
�This is our amazing museum that they say will out Te-Papa Te-Papa� Kieran
�You and Sam appear to have vanished like thin smoke� Miri (On her note to Katie)
�Oh my God! Zoolander virgins! So cute!� Emily


Page 52

�I�m sorry. I�m in a �the-cake-was-contaminated kinda mood� Emily (She went mental after having this piece of cake)
�If I was an Indian, my name would be �Girl-Who-Eats-Much�� Katie
�Luke, I am your father�damn these prosthetics�why are you ugly?� Carly (In a random stream)

�Babies who are cute when they are born grow up to be ugly�so, you were a cute baby� Carly (To Kieran)
�Yes, I was� Kieran (He took it as a compliment and didn�t even listen to the first half)

�So who was the guy I talked to then? Just some sort of idiot?� Kim (On the phone to Telecom � she�s referring to the guy�s manager)
�It was just lovely to see Harrison and Calista swinging the delighted tot�� Magazine �Onlooker� (Carly was reading this article about Harrison Ford�naturally�and someone had commented on Harrison and Calista walking her kid � but who talks like that?)


Page 53

�You big...burly�gingerman� Kim (To AfroSam - this was his name for a short time)
�Nah they are all natives that smell funny� Kimbee (On the boys who live near her Aunty�s farm)
�She should be chased by large Dobermans� Carly (On Yoko Ono)

�My second cousin has the second highest criminal escape record� Miri
�True?� Kim
�Yeah, but I�ve never met him�he�s in prison� Miri (An absolutely classic story)

�Do you know what a correlation is?� Katie
�Hmm�it sounds like a bead shop� Emily

�Look, I�m Dian. Poopies! I love Buffy� Kate (When I put on one of Dian�s shoes � rephrase that, I put my big toe in one of Dian�s shoes)


Page 54

�It�s doomsday and we�re all gonna die� Carly
�Oh, ok� Katie (A fairly relaxed view of life)

�And so we become the world that is underwear� Kim (When underwear shopping at Farmers)
�This is such a television� Belinda (On Emily�s light stick)
�I�m sure there used to be more silly putty�or were our hands just smaller?� Carly (On of the big questions of life)

�I should name my boobs so Kieran�s got something to talk to� Carly
�Thelma and Louise!� Belinda
�Suicidal boobs! I�ll wake up and my boobs will be driving me off a cliff� Carly

�If I had a lightsabre I�d cut cheese with it� Carly


Page 55

�If anyone messed up my room, I�d go on a big rampage� Carly
�Oh, with a spoon?� Kieran (Because that was obviously the most likely weapon to use)

�Ohhhh�..motherfucker� Kim (Randomly, in the most despaired and morose tone ever)
�Downness passes me by sometimes�so does happiness�actually, a lot of things pass me by� Emily
�Its times like these that I need my Star Wars monopoly� Carly

�I like prostitutes� Kim (Singing)
�You are one� Kate
�I know� Kim (This wasn�t really all that funny but Kieran doesn�t get the concept of humour)

�Do you think glass has feelings?� Kim
�It does when it sees ugly people� Kieran


Page 56

�Stop slapping me! I�m not a piece of slapper!� Belinda
�Oh shit-ma-hoo� Belinda
�What the hells comin� out of your ass�looks like tears� Belinda (To Carly � I have no idea)
�My boobs are in dangerous territory� Carly
�Blah blah blah objects it this way, then I�m gonna object it that way, and say suck my dick� Belinda (Her summary of my Philosophy essay)
�King of Priam � there you go. Slap a crown on that bad boy� Kate (On Peter O�Toole)
�Francis said I tasted like sick� Belinda
�I was being, like, a block� Kieran (On why he threw himself on Carly. Seriously)


Page 57

�That�s why the Arabs are cool�they cut your hands off for littering� Kieran

�Most people don�t realize there are 25 letters in the alphabet� Kieran
�You mean 26?� Carly
��oh yeah� Kieran

�Who�s been kissing me in my sleep?� Kieran
�Some people are so prejudiced against marriage�it�s like�grow a horse� Kim
�Follow the numbered painting guide will make your painting easier succeed� Suncatcher Instructions
�Kieran, don�t be a hero, just be a�marsupial� Kim (Singing, quite randomly)


Page 58

�I�m sexually frustrated�I just pulled the monkey thing off the barrel� Kieran

�I don�t feel particularly strong feelings for Carly� Kieran
�Well you feel SOMETHING strong for Carly� Dian

�Everyone�s breaking my monkeys� Kim
�Aaarghh�stupid library arse shit bastard GRRR I hate feminism!!� Katie (Her text that she sent Emily from the library)
�They�re green but they don�t taste green� Miri (On her crackers)
�I�ve been on an escalator!� Katie (Sure, sure Katie. Like they�d have escalators in Matamata. HA! The cows would get confused.)

�Can you be Christian AND a vegeterian?� Miri
�Um�yeah� Carly
�Really? Wow! I�ve never met a Christian vegeterian before� Miri


Page 59


�It�s wrong to grow cows just for meat� Miri (Grow cows?)
�Bonjour, I�m Irish, y�all� Carly
�Everyone�s human�once in a while� Miri

�What did you do at Francis�?� Miri
�Work�movies�Francis� Belinda

�It looked all limp and floppy� Katie (On Dian)
�You have to eat it twice because it keeps coming back up� Carly (Her summary of hostel food)
�Things just come randomly out of my mouth�like condoms� Tracy
�You bitch! You little�bitch!� Katie
�You look like America� Carly (To Katie)
�You�re like a big movie blooper� Carly (To Katie)


Page 60

�I took it as a humorous, funny thing�a joke� Kieran
�The best contraception is you, Carly� Kieran (Good way to get into her pants, dude)
�Marry me�arrr� Kieran (Being the Harrison Ford doll)
�It wasn�t me�it was Harrison Ford� Kieran (Poor Harrison is always getting the blame)
�You find lots of funny humour in stuff� Kieran
�Well, you wipe your ass with your left hand�I�m talking about Arabs� Kieran

�Look, there�s the ugly kid� Carly
�What�poo tang?� Kieran

�For some reason, this movie has brought out the stupidity of you� Carly (To Kieran � on Regarding Henry)
�Somebody should cork my mouth � it�s a load of trogs scollop� Kieran


Page 61

�I see with my peripheril vision�and your face is gawky� Kieran
�Do you like to suck on things randomly?� Kieran (To Carly � he�s skilled at picking up the ladies)
�Isn�t Harrison Ford cool � he can�t even talk. I wish you were like Harrison Ford� Carly (To Kieran � saying that she wished he couldn�t talk. Kieran, of course, took it as a compliment)
�It�s nice to have a follower, now I know what Jesus felt like� Carly (On Kieran)
�If you weren�t Kieran, I�d do you� Belinda (To Kieran � she�s good with the compliments)

�I�ve got zits� Kieran
�Ooh, get out the Microsoft� Belinda (i.e. microscope)

�We�re in the middle of a war period� Guy on �Girlfight�
�Quick! Get the conflict sanitary pads!� Carly



Page 62

�Do you remember that band, Boyzone?�.hah heh� Katie
�I�m sure you can turn anything into sperm� Emily (To Dian)
�I know she�s going to do someone to something� Miri
�You�re real bright, you�re just�Miri� Belinda (To Miri)
�Where�s Kieran? He always has goodies to share� Belinda

�I�m Christian� Kieran
�Oh, since when? Carly?� Belinda

�I could be like Norah Jones�except I wouldn�t be Norah Jones�I�d be�Carly Jones� Carly (On her new song)
�I�m moderately ashamed of myself� Emily (On her statement that we should give refugees our old food)


Page 63

�It�s cute in a kind of �aw, retard� way� Carly (On Harrison Ford)
�Does my retardedness impress you?� Kieran
�Oh, I�m a retard, that must be why I like Carly� Kieran
�I�m gonna give you a big piece of advice. Whenever you are about to say something about a train, don�t� Carly (To Katie after two dumb statements � firstly, when we were pulling out of the train station and she was concerned that we were going backwards�secondly, when the train going the other way on the other side of the tracks stopped, and she asked if it was our train)

�What about the starving children in Somalia?� Carly
�What about them?� Katie

�Three Miri�s�THREE MIRI�S� Kim (When Miri�s twin sisters visited)
�Oh boo hoo, let me get you a�period pad� Carly

�I�m so gonna marry the cheese pizza� Kate
�But then what will I marry?� Miri
�The pizza base one� Kate
�Ohh�there�s only two bits left to marry� Miri


Page 64

�Ok�but only five minutes� Jennifer Lopez (In �Maid In Manhattan� � while holding up ten fingers)
�Yeah, I�ve got a thing for blocks� Carly (On why she should marry Kieran)
�It�s AfroHenry! Der�ritz?� Carly (When Sam said something dumb)

�I wanted to check if the element was going properly, so I put my hand on it� Miri
�My brother did that when he was like two� Carly
�You probably did that last year right?� Kate
��maybe�� Miri

�I once walked into a mirror� Miri
�I don�t say dumb things�� Miri
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