It’s Happening at Work

Can’t seem to please him no matter what you say or do? He twists everything that you say? He excludes you, isolates you from your peers. Undermines you. Gives you too many instructions, leaves out vital information when his is relaying directions, keeps you waiting, seems to have no concept of time or how long it will take to accomplish what it is he says he wants you to do. Constantly nit-picks, finds fault, his criticism is distorted, misrepresented and often fabricated. He consistently refuses to value, recognize, acknowledge and praise you and your contributions, and achievements. Constantly attempts to undermine you and your position, status, worth, value and potential. For a mistake or error of yours, however trivial, action is taken against you, he will often take action against you for the wrongs, errors, mistakes of others. He excludes you from what’s going on, overrules, ignores, belittles demeans and patronizes, alone or in front of others, he humiliates, shouts, (or uses slow very measured tones) threatens. Overloads you with work, or takes it all away, takes your work and the credit for it....increases your responsibilities and takes away your authority, refuses or takes away annual, sick, or (especially) “compassionate” leave. Never allows time for training necessary to fulfill your duties. Withholds vital information always but especially during probationary and evaluation periods Sets unrealistic goals and then changes them as you approach them. He changes deadlines on short notice or with no notice - your not informed until it’s too late. Everything you say is twisted, distorted, and misrepresented. If you respond to his questioning - you are being insubordinate. If you don’t offer an explanation - then you are refusing to reply. Disciplinary procedures with verbal and written warnings are imposed for trivial or fabricated reasons and with out proper investigation. He likes to issue his disciplines, threats, warnings, just before a long weekend, or a holiday like Christmas...or on the anniversaries of the death of a loved one. He coerces you into leaving through no fault of your own, (constructive quit/dismissal), or forces retirement. Always spoils your time off, weekends, holidays. Has no concern for your well-being. Always follows a compliment or reward with some kind of a reprimand. Can’t be alone with him, his tactics are covert and overt - Feigns concern for you or about you to others. He will use his size, tone of voice, and presence to overpower, overwhelm and intimidate you especially when you are alone with him. Very quick with comebacks, cuts you off when you are asking for clarification. Miscommunicates to you through others. Changes his instructions to you through others, using a subordinate or a peer. Lies to you and to others about you. Seems like he’s playing some kind of diabolical game (and he is..) Interrupts you when your doing something that requires concentration and for which you will be held accountable (financially..), turns off the lights - and/or has you do something else instead. Disciplines you for the mistakes of others. Does everything possible to ensure that you won’t be successful, happy or well thought of. Makes disparaging remarks about the way you look, dress, sit, talk, walk, write. Diminishes or denies your accomplishments. Blocks your way or keeps you from getting by, “accidentally”: trips, bumps, or shoves you. Encourages others to knowingly or unknowingly torment, harass, or disrespect you. No matter what you do or don’t do the abuse gets worse. He needs to destroy you. No matter how submissive or how assertive you are his only objective is for you to fail. You can’t work it out. He doesn’t change his destructive agenda. I t becomes progressively more threatening and cruel. If you become vulnerable grieving, convalescing ....the abuse and intimidation escalates becoming even more intense. Stop trying to please him, Stop doing more, Stop communicating with him, Stop trying to work it out, or get clarification...do everything possible to get a transfer or a change of position. (but remember he will punish or undermine you) Seek out the support of compassionate coworkers, mentors. Your association has not been effective, he has told them that he has done everything possible to find a place where you might be of some use...he has convinced them that you are ineffective, irrational, paranoid, menopausal, emotionally incapable of handling anything He has and, will do everything possible to make you look and act out of control, while he is always innocent even feigning “concern” for you. His boss or manager has and will not want to hear what you have to say, they may be expecting or supporting his “power over tactics”. He is an astute purveyor of the paper trail. Leave and get a new job. Prepare to leave and get a new job. He has and will undermine any effort you make to leave or transfer. He needs to keep you where you are...he enjoys having power over you, tormenting you. tyrannizing you. He enjoys seeing you distressed and in pain toying with you.. He struts about basking in the power that he feels. He lacks empathy and compassion. If you do try to transfer he will punish you. If you tell him no, he will punish you. If you ask your union, association, or his boss for help he will punish you. If you stay he will punish you and it always gets worse. No matter how attentive, how forgiving, understanding, or how much you do or don’t do, how you say it or don’t say it - he is never satisfied - whether you become even more qualified, take antidepressants, pray for him, forgive him-it will never be enough the situation will always get worse. You are at risk, physically, emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, economically, this is about spiritual warfare - he needs to break your spirit - He is a bully and a tyrant. He is in charge of all abandonments (transfers, terminations...) he will use the administrative system to intimidate and control you....he does not care if you are a single mother, grandmother, sole provider, grieving widow, (actually these are preferred) his agenda will always escalate ——if you have tried to leave him, transfer, or sought outside help he will destroy any opportunity for success even if you do manage to get out, get a new job, or transfer, he will continue to undermine you..he needs to destroy you, he needs to win.

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