...husband, boyfriend, father (father-in-law), brother (brother-in-law), son (son-in-law), roommate, boss, landlord, confessor, counselor, peer, he is professional, blue collar, cleric, royalty, employed, unemployed, educated, uneducated, Christian, nonbeliever, popular and trusted member of the community, a felon, a high ranking government official, a street person, “clean and sober”, a drunk, a respected, involved member of his church, born again, reborn, charismatic, a post master, on the run.
He———-is———wants————will————-or— ————needs:
Takes hostages, lacks empathy and compassion. He needs to control, dominate, subjugate, annihilate, incapacitate, degrade, humiliate, debilitate, ruin, undermine, destroy us. He is adept at manipulating the system-He will never be held accountable, He never lives up to his contracts, promises, vows, oaths, covenants, agreements. He will do everything possible to separate, alienate, isolate us from family, friends, peers and support groups. (These will often betray and abandon us, withholding support, children, grandchildren, condoning his behavior by somehow blaming us for his cruelty (didn’t you see this coming, didn’t you know about his childhood, why did you marry him, why did you stay with him so long, why did you let him come back, why are you still with him). He excludes us from his plans, social family functions. Or somehow spoils it if we are included. He will spoil and /or sabotage any plans that we might have. He is never there when we need him most; the first of the month, special occasions, family functions, moving, illness, surgery, holidays and weekends are experiences from hell. He rarely contributes, he always takes. He lies without compunction. When relaying directions and/or instructions he leaves out vital information. He refuses to discuss anything , he’s “so busy”, he’s on call, he has something more important to do; “work”, take a nap, take a trip, surf the web, watch television, read the paper, listen to talk radio, practice his golf swing. He will insinuate that everyone else knows or says there is something wrong with us and /or our personalities. He ingratiates himself to others, he likes to act “single” -flirts with the women (and gay men ) making sure we see or know about it, compliments the men. A real nice guy to others. Competitive towards us, sullen. When IT starts his face becomes tense, contorts with rage -disgust grotesque - diabolical. His body becomes rigid extends over us - threatening, intimidating, controlling, powering over, right in our face. Tell him whatever you need to to get out. He is a real Dr. Jeckyll, Mr. Hyde -He will use “god” -(his god is a loving god) prayer, the Bible, bible verses, religion, AA’s clichés, 12 steps and Big Book to toy with our perceptions and justify his behavior. He thinks he’s the smartest person in the world.
Click here to print a Misogynon brochure