Unrighteous Dominion. In adult couple relationships verbal, physical, emotional, economic, spiritual, psychiatric, psychological, sexual, violence is a gender issue. Men who abuse believe they have a “right” to dominance. They believe they are superior. That women are subordinate to them ( Patriarchy ). Verbal violence is hostile aggression. The perpetrator is not provoked by his mate. It is not about anger or losing control; it is an intentional choice he does it because he gets away with it; to maintain power and control - he does it to break her spirit. Soul murder. Spiritual violence. Spiritual warfare - & he wants to win. He has a tremendous sense of entitlement- he sees himself as special, unique, a tragic/ happy -go- lucky hero. Verbal violence becomes more intense over time. He rarely, if ever, seems to want to share his thoughts or plans with us, threatens abandonment (“abandonment talk”- LOOK AT YOU, YOU are a very sick women, YOU are crazy, It’s never going to work, It’s only a matter of time) or tells us to leave if we don’t like it. Shuts down, withdraws, punishes. Verbal violence always discounts the partner’s perception of the abuse (if he’s been choking, kicking, kneeing, throwing, spitting, pinching, pushing, burning , stabbing , pulling , shoving, tripping, slamming doors in our face-he’ll ask have I ever hit you? or he’s just telling the truth, we are too sensitive, or he was just joking). He will exclude us, keep his back to us, he’ll pretend he doesn’t notice us, that we’re not there, that we don’t exist. Has us follow or chase (run) after him. Constantly criticizes & belittles us. He won’t bathe, shave, or clean up after himself. Leaves things unfinished. He controls all the finances. If we are the provider he will do everything possible to run us into debt, bankruptcy, or some kind of ruin. He will not repay what he owes, has borrowed, or has stolen. He rarely contributes. He doesn’t know how to give. He seems to take the opposite view from us on almost everything we mention. His view is not qualified by I think or I feel as if our view were wrong and his were right. He will leave us or put us (and our children) out in the middle of the night without clothing, food, water, transportation, money, he will let us take the “rap” if it will get him off the hook. He will leave us holding the bag. He never lives up to his agreements. He adds to our life burden. He is a bully and a tyrant. He needs to destroy us.
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