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2000.09.20.

"sometimes the hardest thing to do is to realize and face the truth...
 everything after that u do deliberately and with little pain,
 becuz u know it's right and that it has to be done."

"�û����Ʊ����H���}��  �Q�F�Ӧh�U�ΤӦh  �Ϧӷ|�O�ۤv�̤��}��"

������|�L�k����X��  �ڤ]���Q�o��
�Q���줣��h�÷Q  ������S���O�کү४�k
��F�a  ���ڳo�˧a  �Q���� �n���� �O�ݧ�
can u please let me be; this is just the way i am
sometimes i just need to be alone  ��ť�]���n��

-- the sheep on b612


2000.10.09.

�oı�ۤv�u�Y�n����...
kore... shikata ga nai yo...
~(o___0)"~

��̧� ���|���֤H�@�X����  �@�A�i�����ڭϱj�۷����y
���է� �����@�N�O�F�u����  ���ڪ��A�O�ڷ��R�ʪ��@��
�b�̥̻P�γ̭W���⨫�L  �L�`�ڦ۩ӻ{���I�u�Ӧh

�O�֤F����   �٬O�h�F����
�O�Ф����Pı   �����ܤF��
�Q�n�L��  �ڪ������o�O�Ŭ}��
�Q�n����  �ڪ��n���o�O�C�|��
oh well, everything's gonna be alright
i know tmw it's all gonna be just fine

*i'd much rather be a real nobody, than a fake somebody*

�ڷ|���j, �ܰ��j... �u�]���ڤw�g���F�o��, �S�z�Ѳ{�b���B.
�^��L�h, ���ǿ�ܧڲ{�b�ᮬ�F, ���ǤH�ڷ��ɿ��ǤF, ���Ǿ��|
�ڦb�K�a�����L�F. ���O�p�G�A���ڧ�, �گu���S������Q�諸...
�]���o��, ���ڧ󦳨M��... �L�׫e�������٦��h��, ���h�}��,
�ڤ]�n���j���H�ڦۤv���覡���U�h.
�N��O�A�o�o��h�H�]�b�Ҥ���...
�]���ڬO�ڦۤv.


2000.10.15.

i won't pretend that i understand
cuz u know wut? i'm probably just as lost as u~

���ѧڬݵۤ@���j��´��, �s�������@�㭱�𪺺�...
�M��ڬ�M�Q��, �b�o�̳��ۧڤ@�_�I�l��, �u���j��Ӥw...
�H�j�אּ�񪺥ͬ�, �w�g�L�F�h�[, �ٻݭn����h�[...
�N��ڨC�ѳ��X�h��ܱ�, �̫�]�٬O�^��Ӫ��m���a��...
�ڪ����D, �b��ڤӰ��j�F... �@���H�ӱj���ۤv���j��...
�������A�F���䪺�H, �s�ۤv���H���ۤv�u���ܰ��j... but... �O��

�ڬO�@���g�~���̦�. �ڤ��۫H�W��, �ҥH͢���|�ӱϧڪ�.
�p�G�ڧi�D�A, �ڬ۫H�A, ���A�|���|�]�۫H��, �����کO?
�A�����F�ڶ�...?


2000.10.18.

a couple days ago i was watching "ally macbeal", and i saw
the following dialogue...
John: how do u keep so happy all the time??
Elaine: well, happy is easy. i try to look happy on the 
outside. i smile a lot and act cheerful. then other ppl
think that i am happy, and i look through their eyes,
from their prespective, then i FEEL happy. it doesn't help
with loneliness, but happy is easy. 

�PIJ�n�h��... �O���O�̪�ڤ@�����o�˪��F�O�H�F�ۤv, ���ګܧּ�?
�گu���O���q�ߩ����ֶּ�? �p�G�O��, ������o�j? �ӥB�}�ߤF, 
���I��O? �ڤ����ӷP��I�檺, �{�b. �i�O... ~(o__0)~


2000.10.23.

�̪�n���ܮe���S�w���P, �ܩȱI��...

i'm scared... �n�Ȧn��.. �̪�S�}�l�@�c��...
�H"crazy"���z�Ѹ����@��  ���@������D���֤�
�O�`�Ȥ���Ө���]  �٬O�`�ȤS�|�g�F��
�b�C�Ӧ����ݤ����P�Ū��]��  �P�˵�

�ֻ��h��  �Y�����O��  ���S������ҿ�
�{��ͬ���  ���A�@�B  �󥲭p���N��
�ڭ̳��b�C�ʦ��`  �֥��֫�S������O
�@�ɥ��骺�ɭ�  �ڦb���I���A  �����P��


2000.10.24.

�S�}�l�@�ӤH������l, ���I����.
���Ѧ���Ӧۻ��誺�H, �h�֦��I�w��
�Y�ϻ��誺�B��, �]���b���誺�дo.
ť�۱i�_����'�i��', �u���O�ܴΪ��q.
�S�}�l�Q�V�Y�v�F...

life is good
u gotta want it to be true
and then truly belive in it
dun't ever let ur hope die
dun't ever let ur imagination die
be yourself at all times


2000.10.25.

�ڷP�E�ʫK�y�\ �}�i�F�����K���K
���۬O���F�������ӤS�h
�`�ȩt�W�K�λE �ȹL��[�T]�K���h
���ۥ����ڬ���

"i'm happy, so shut up." -- the crazy sheep.

�ڭ��|��D �A��NťD o��, �ڥu�|���ڪ��ߩ�����.
�̦h�ڭ����A, ���ڭ��|���@�y�����ܨ��F�A.


2000/10/28

���ѱߤW
�ڳܤF�ܦh��
Ū�F�ܦh��.
���O���ѱߤW
��ı�o�ܪť�
�ܪŵ�.


2000/11/11

�p�G�@�ɤW���k�H�h�L��k�H, �������򨺻�h�H�S���k�B�ͩO?
�]������h�k�H���b�l�P�@�Ӥk�H��... tsk tsk tsk
*�¹ڷQ����V�V�O�ڶi~ ���\�O�a�V�O, �ëD�ѤѤ~�M�w��~*

"i am who i am
 who else could i be
 i stand where i stand
 choose to be me
 if u look in my eyes
 u'll get what u see
 understand if u can
 that i am who i am"
-- such a good song~ :)

i once said -- doing what u want is crucial to
achieve happiness, but it's not always possible. 
now i say -- oh bull, u want it? go for it!
�}�߲Ĥ@   �ޥL���D�w§���۲z��G

~work hard, play hard, enjoy~


2000.11.13.

don't u agree that it's so hard to balance all the things in 
your life? school, family, friends, relationships, and personal
space... it always feels like i have so little time, and so much
to do... the next thing i know, i'm loosing contact with those
who were once dearest to me, and i'm drifting further and
further away from the me that i was once so proud of. i'm always
so afriad that i'd loose my roots, that i'd forget all that i've
grown up to believe... i guess i really fear change and all that
comes with it. if i felt happy today, i can't help but to think
that soon, it will all end, somewhere along the line... i will
have to move again, i will have to leave it all behind again,
start yet another completely different life... and in all the
confusion and new busy beats, i will once again drift away...
so, when will i finally settle down? to one country, one city,
one house, one home... get to keep my friends, stay with my
whole family... is this why i always feel empty inside? no
matter how well things are going, is this why i still feel so
empty? because i lack stableness? a secure feeling? and if so,
what solution do i have? what choice do i have... what could i
possibly do about it all...

�ٱ��F�ܤ[�ܤ[���a�ߺD, �@�Ӥ@�ӺC�C���q�·t�����������X,
�dzƭ��s����@�I�@�w�ڪ��ͬ�... (�ڤS�}�٤F... *�W��*)


2000.11.14.

�Τ��۪��], �w�@�M���������, ½�}�@����...
ŪŪ��, �Q�Q�Ʊ�... ����ICQ�W���H�@�Ӥ@�ӤU�F�u,
����ѻںC�C�}�l�G�_... �S�L�F�@��, �S�L�F�@��... 
���ڷQ���S����F��, ���H�e���ۤv�O�_�S���F�I...


2001.december. 

I believe kawariyuku watashi demo
I believe kawarenai mono ga aru
I believe kawariyuku sekai demo
I believe kawaranai mono ga aru

��ӵo�{  �ƹ�u������୮
�����ı  ���g�Q���F�Q�Q��
��ӵo�{  ���S�Q�����b�N
��ӨM�w  �L�h���N�����L�h

�Ϋܦh���O��, �ܤp���n��, �i�D�ۤv...
everything's gonna be alright...

and u play ur music loud just so you won't feel so alone
and u always keep ur cell open just in case someone calls
and u leave the lights on so u feel better when u come home
and u say it's gonna be okay but u lie to urself and u lie to the world...

the truth is that it don't make no difference at all
wut u say n wut u do don't make no difference at all

�ڤ����D�ݭn�Τ���˪��������A�y���y�������A�פ~�����A�̬۫H�ڦ�
�ثܵL�`���Q�z���Pı���O�ڥ����ܩڦ]�������O�諸�]���گu�����Ʊ�
���h�A�̦��O������ߤ����n���b���o�@���w����ɱϤF���D�u���O�o��
�ܧڤ��Ʊ�o�ˤl���O�ڵL�ର�O�ӧڤ]������D�p�]�����u���ڤ@�I�]
���Pı���p�ڤ@�I�]�S���ܧڤ��|�ᮬ�]���|�P���p�p�G�ڪ��M�w��
��F����H�ڷ|���n�����ڤ��O�G�N���i�O�گu��ı�o�ڦ��藍�_��uknow
���a�ںާA�̦b�Q����ڨS�O��ޤF��F�a�̧ڧ��Ƥϥ��������A�̤Sť
��F�X�y�S�۫H�F�h��




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