Journal
March 2006
Ahh, Spring! Life begins anew, and so does my practice...
01 March 2006 (It's only Wednesday)
Out of bed at 6:37 after a long night of fighting the dog for space (also a Crafty dream with a performance by VictorM & MartinB, both playing the same guitar on IBE). Experientially felt like a Friday as I got up, but knew it wasn't, which made me a bit sad. Usual routine for the morning, with a pause in the kitchen as I prepared to leave. I had a clear sense that the morning was getting away from me, despite the sitting. Pause, back on track, and out the door to work. A little baffled at the source of the loss of direction, but it doesn't come as a surprise.
Got in at 8:25 and proceeded to have a very useless morning. Nothing really productive happened, though I did do some rearranging in the office, now that I have a coat hanger and whiteboard. E-mail exchange for AT AAD work with SBC. Lunch at the local Quick Fix and back in to the office to two phone meetings.
Fun with signs from around the world. Some of the comments are priceless.
-------------------------------
Not quite back on track, but getting there, this afternoon. Managed to tidy a few work things. Today has had the quality of moving through a heavy liquid. I've felt lanquid and distracted the whole day, and only with significant effort have I been able to get to the end of the day. Feels like a finish, but perhaps I can do just a bit more. Things await at home that can help me complete the day. Lisa is off to a gardening seminar tonight, so it's me and the dog.
2 March 2006 (Thursday)
The week still drags on.
Up at 6:10 so I could be ready for the arrival of the Maytag dude to come fix the washng machine (the scheduled time is anywhere from 7:00 AM to 1:00 PM). He calls at 10:30, is here by 11:00, and is out by 11:30 (and I am out $350 for a blown locking mechanism, which in turn blows a resistor on the system board. Plus his time.) Ah well. I have a spin cycle again.
One meeting in the morning for a training, one in the afternoon for my team. Lunch with the wife (she came home early due to the snow). Now struggling through the afternoon. Practice calls me as well this evening.
03 March 2006 (Friday) [231] [S!]
Up at 6:05 (after being up many times with doggy movement), and out to shovel off the driveway. Then, the usual morning routine, ans then to work. Stopped off for breakfast, and into the office by 8:45.
Not feeling well, so I'll be shortening my day.
Your public service announcement for the day: National Sex Offender Registry
Put in your address and be frightened. I know I was, and I don't even have kids.
------------------------------
04 March 2006 (Saturday)
Slept in to about 8:30, sat in bed. The general malaise of the weeks still lingers, and I am barely ableto make contact with myself, let alone with anyone else today. Up and watching the last bit of the Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy. Mandy reminds us of a friend of ours in Florida. Similar outlook on the world.
Out with Lisa to the Home show at the new convention center. Decent facility, and the show had a few things of interest. We've been to enough of these that they are much less useful than they have been in the past.
Stop into the herb shop to see how a friend is doing (not well - the malaise is there for her as well, but it has a physical form. Her ex.)
Home and snacking on leftovers. Puttered and finally did some necessary vacuuming, dishes, laundry, etc. in preparation for travelling tomorrow.
Dinner (nachos with home-made guacamole). then, some much needed practice - RH work on beat division and counting while tapping the feet, LH on the first 4 variations of the 1st Primary, hammerhead variations (3, 5 & 7 note sequences - each giving a different perspective on release in the exercise, especially the 3).
Now, diary, checking flight information, and to bed.
05 March 2006 (Sunday)
Leisurely rise (8:30), after sitting lounging 'til 9:30. Up, shower, dress and pack for my trip to Pittsburgh.
On the plane, a dude in the seat behind me - non-stop chatter the whole way to Pittsburgh. Dressed in black leather jacket, black jeans, black shoes, pony-tail (sound like anyone we know?), but clearly some damage there. My first thought was (completely unbidden, completely uncharitable, and with apologies to Marc), "this is what MarcB would have been like after too many drugs". (Like I said, sorry Marc.) Felt sorry the woman next to him, who was politely nodding in agreement every once in a while as he nattered on. I found myself fighting the urge to jump in on some of his dopier commentary - literally felt pulled to turn around several times and had to clamp down not to say anything. Eventually I managed to let it go and lose myself in whatever brainless thing I was reading at the time. As he got off the plane, many of us waited for our checked baggage (I brought the guitar), and he was wondering why we were all standing around. Found myself deliberately delaying going down to the baggage carousel so that I wouldn't have to deal with him.
So, some things to query from this episode: Why the uncharitable comparison to a friend (is this my only frame of reference)? What the energy pull was, and how was it resisted? Why I felt the need to so studiously avoid this person once off the plane?
-----------------------------------
In to the hotel by 3:30 (nice place, very comfortable), but they do not have my reservation. Fortunately, there is room, so I am able to book in (I have a training class here Tuesday & Wednesday). Lounging, reading, watching anime (the room has a TV I can hook the PC to, so I can watch DVDs on it. Had to pick up an S-Video cable - I'll also need to grab an audio cable this week.
To bed at 10:30, with the hope that I can get a decent nights sleep. Body still feels unsettled from Friday.
06 March 2006 (Monday)
Awakened by the alarm at 6:00, up at 6:20. Interesting dreams last night, culminating in an odd discussion with a famous drummer about music and other items. Discomboblulated sitting this morning - very spastic (physically and mentally). Still feeling off.
In to work for 8:00, sitting with the boss for a time before he heads to a meeting. Two relatively harmess phone conferences and a long conversation with a colleague about the state of things here in Pittsburgh (work, not necessarily the city itself - though the city does figure into the local attitudes). Now planning a quick jaunt for lunch before a long afternoon department meeting. Momentous things to be revealed (we hope), and perhaps some direction as well. In the meantme, I have several things that I am behind on, and need to attend to.
-------------------------------
Dammit! Now I have Easy Like Sunday Morning going through my head. Thanks Alex.
-------------------------------
Longish meeting in the afternoon. I realize as I type this that I am sitting completely out of balance (I'm not actually at a desk, kind of sitting in my bosses office, twisted and contorted). This after just thinking about the AT course coming up this weekend at the CCA. This reminds me that I need to provide my AAD intentions to SBC soon.
07 March 2006 (Tuesday)
In training for PAR. Good stuff in general (how to identify behaviors and feelings in people to better understand each other, and get commitment from people. One very interedting item from the instructor: the "Decision Ladder" used in the course (showing various stages of engagement in a topic) was derived "from the ideas of a Russian philosopher from the early half of the century by the name of Gurdieff."
08 March 2006 (Wednesday)
More PAR. Up early, even though I had difficulty sleeping - a headache from the end of yesterday through the night that bordered on being a migraine.
More good stuff in the class. Found myself avoiding the exercises, and stepping back to see why that was. Still don't know why, but I did acknowledge (and have in the past) that I really dislike these "acting" exercises in these types of HR/Management training courses.
09 March 2006 (Thursday)
Up at a reasonable time this morning (6:30), sit and manage to make very good contact with the middle of my back (usually a blind spot for me during sitting). It felt like I could sense the room behind me.
A quick breakast (asiago cheese bagel & Earl Grey tea) then into work at 8:15. Spend the morning in meetings, catching up with my boss on the past two days of work in the PAR class. Late lunch at Moe's (quesadilla & chips), and an afternoon in meetings with another manager, then back to my boss to close out the day. Practiced the techniques throughout the day. Reviewed an e-mail from SBC with the AT participants for this weekend: I've been on courses with at least half of them, some as recently as September, one going back to January 2002. A good feeling.
Back to the hotel at 7:00, pause to acknowledge the beginning of the AT weekend. Read for a few minutes, then to a leisurely dinner (tilapia, polenta, a glass of wine - all finished with a freshly made creme brule�). 9:00 AT lie-down, and the right hand (actually the whole arm from the shoulder down) comes on-line. Good connection with the AT team. Now awaiting a phone call from my wonderful wife, and then to bed.
-----------------------
Journal reading leads me to a memory from the PAR course this week: we are on a break discussing songs that get stuck in your head (try humming the first few bars of The Lion Sleeps Tonight, and see if you or anyone around you don't get get sucked in. Awemawehawemaweh...) Her proposition was that if this happens to you, thinking about the song Mr. Sandman will erase the other song, and then erase itself. So far, empirical evidence suggests this is effective.
10 March 2006 (Friday)
Alarm at 6:00, up at 6:35. Shower, sit (very distracted - I feel the pull of the end of the week from all points, items leap into my mind from conversations had and to be had). No practice this morning - my routine this week has been at least 30 minutes in the AM focused on primaries and some small piece of work on repertoire). I figure I'll have time in the airport, since I have a late flight.
Good connections to the AT team this morning (when my mind stopped wandering). Limb of the hour is truly alive.
----------------------------------
Lost the limb rotation this afternoon, but it's back now. Much time spent aggregating information for two presentations to be given by my manager in Germany two weeks time. Still not quite there, but it's a good start.
Tried to jump on an earlier flight, but wasn't able to. Also went to a couple sites, one for a friend who is a photographer (he did our wedding) and another for a costumer. Good stuff in both locations. Hope that one can pursue the things you love and still have a sustainable life.
----------------------------------
Flight is delayed (weather in New Jersey delays the incoming plane), so despite leaving work later than intended, I still have ample time for dinner (Irish potato pancakes, a decidedly un-Irish buffalo chicken salad, and a beer) and about two hours of practice at the gate. I spend 45 minutes on the 1st & 2nd primaries, and then work the rest of the time on the Third Relation (all the parts), Calliope (bass), Havre de Grace (middle sections of the lead) and Flying Home (bass). Practice ends when a member of the ground crew, waiting for our plane to arrive, asks me what kind of music I play, and do I play any country Western. We talk a bit about what I do play, and I give him the site for the YGP.
Once we get our plane, the rest of the evening goes smoothly (though I am in a seat with a person intent on taking up as much space as possble), and I arrive home at about 1:00 AM.
11 March 2006 (Saturday) [232]
Rise at 8:30. Shower, sit & greet the community, sit with the dog for a bit. Out to get my hair cut (missed our appointment last Thursday due to the snow). Feeling more business like. Our stylist commented that she still doesn't believe that she is cutting my hair this short. Some days, neither do I. This though brings me associatively to the friends I have who are attempting their own businesses. They have made concessions in their life to be functionally independent. The haircut is my concession to my current employment (and a degree of financial independence though that may be illusory). At some point, I have Hope that I can have both.
The afternoon is spent doing laundry, vaccuuming, etc. waitng for Lisa to get back from her gardening stuff, with a good hour on the guitar before she gets home (First Primary/Hammerhead-5 through the 1's and 2's). Also, some of the Sin City extras.
Dinner this evening with a friend - I make omelets (cheese, tomato, orange pepper, shallots, mushrooms, chorizo). K is one of the people that has her own business. She's in a tough place with her home and is seriously considering selling, as it is too much for just one person. Space here is offered. Between the three of us, we drink nearly a gallon of orange juice (I was pretty dry fro the day's work).
The girls sit & talk, do puzzles and sketch while I go upstairs and pack for tomorrow's travel. I've got this to a science now, so it goes pretty quickly. K leaves & we go to bed. I catch the end of Constantine, and the dog sleeps on me, being too cute. If he were a superhero, that would be his power.
12 March 2006 (Sunday) [232]
Alarm at 6:30, up at 6:45. Shower, sit and greet the AT team on their final day, and head downstairs for some breakfast. Chat a bit with Lisa as she moves some books off the shelves downstairs to make room for more gardening books (Spring is in the air!). Head out to the airport for a 9:15 flight. Maintaining good in the limb of the hour, for once.
----------------------------------------
After a slightly late start in Hartford, arrive in Research Triangle Park, NC, 80 glorious degrees out. Out to the hotel (only a few miles from the airport), unpack and arrange the room to be my space for the next few days. Set out in search for local food establishments in the Durham area, but soon discover that, even in a college town (Duke University is here) during the ACC finals (Duke is playing BC), there is nothing open. Grab some completely unsatisfying fast food and head back to the hotel. Call & talk with Lisa, watch the History Channel (something on Shatner, followed by a Star Wars special, which will be followed at 8 by a show on how Bill Shatner created the world we live in today (no fooling).
Otherwise, a day off.
------------------------------
Legolas in the woods. Gimli learns to drum. Gandalf really wanted to be Rick Wakeman. No brick walls for these guys (scroll until you find the Excalibur/Jimmy Paige shot)!
13 March 2006 (Monday)
This day has not helped my weight any...
Alarm at 6:15, rise at 6:20. No call from MarkP last night, so I'm not sure if he got in or not. Shower, sit, dress and head down to the lobby. I call Mark to see if he's going to be down to the lobby soon - he got in at 12:30 AM (was supposed to be 9:30), but will be down shortly. I drive to the plant, with Mark navigating.
My morning is spent in teleconferences, some practical and useful, others not so. Discussion of transition of teams with another manager, meet with the new-old-new-soon-to-be-old-team, and then a break for lunch. Visit with Mark and the crew being trained and sit with them for an hour or so and eat (BLT wrap and *gasp* diet Mountain Dew). Back to the other office to more conference calls, sharing new organizational information (though I really shouldn't have to do this, I feel it to be necessary, practical and right). Another quick call with one of my current team members on some positive arisings for the team. Some doors may be opening. Skip the last meeting of the day to complete some necessary items on my list.
The day completed, Mark and I head back to the hotel before going to dinner with the project leader. I spend the hour on the guitar (Music for a Found Harmonium found its way into my in-box last week, so this is the focus). A good workout as I get the piece up to speed, clear focus on the mechanics of the right hand, getting to a point where there is a good, balanced, relaxed flow there. Once established it allows me to work with the left hand (which is quite pathetic - PINKIE!). I have a moment where both hands are available, evenif they are not competely responding. Progress, then.
Dinner at a place called the Angus Barn. It was highly recommended, and the food was very good, though the steak needed something, I'm not sure what. Too many years of too much seasoning, I think. We got a tour of the wine cellar (apparently the largest between NYC and Tampa - I'm not sure how the line is drawn), which was quite impressive. Met the head Chef briefly, and found out that he will be on an episode of Iron Chef America. Can't wait to see it (he wouldn't tell us the secret ingredient).
Now back at the hotel, ready to sack out. I realized as I sat to complete this entry that I have missed the limb rotation for the entire day.
14 March 2006 (Tuesday)
Alarm at 6:15, lie in until 6:50. Shower, sit, clean up the room and head down to the lobby to meet Mark. We're taking separate cars today, as hes leaving after the last of his training sessions. I have one more day, and am planing an excursion for bar-b-que for this evening. Mmmmm.
Morning spent largely clearing out email issues, getting meetings scheduled for the end of the week, and into the next. Got an e-mail from a friend in Pittsburgh, responded. NYGC site info responded to. Birthday invitation responded to. Sadly, scheduled time Friday for a funeral. The brother of a good friend, in his early 40's, if that, died this weekend. His wife just came home and found him. No information about the circumstances, but it appears to be "natural causes". Depressing and a trifle worrisome. We will go and provide support where we can.
I notice that I have missed an hour of the limb rotation, as I am reading Alan's entry. I quickly recap where I'm supposed to be and... it's exactly 11:00. Right foot!
-----------------------------------
Lunch with the project lead we're down here doing the training for, and the primary customer. Much potential in this relationship, even if we don't get the overall contract for this business. This manager (and several of the people in his organization) have a good view of the tool going forward, and the potential of what it could do for the business. We are aiming to be a part of that.
Rest of the afternoon in the training trailer. Glad I went to this - I'm not to impressed with Mark's skills for training. Given the audience (mixed, but largely inexperienced) he treated it mainly as a "watch me while I do this" rather than taking the opportunity to let people work with the tools and ask questions. The time allotted (2 hours) may not have seemed like enough to do that, but it did work out. Also, having an assistant to walk around while he was speaking helped. He's clearly a techie, and not a trainer. Some things for me to think about for future engagements.
Head back to the hotel to plot my dinner plans. Forego a trip to a Memphis BBQ chain and a Gaucho restaurant for a more local establishment (Capitol Ciry Chop House). Better steak this time, more tender & flavorful, but far less ambience than the Angus Barn. Roughly equivalent prices, so it's a toss-up. No wine cellar or Iron Chef at the Chop House, so I think the tie goes to the Angus.
Now back to the room to practice more Harmonium tonight, working closer to the indicated tempo. One transition is proving challenging to me, as I am having difficulty releasing the last note in a bar. Some of this stems from how tightly I grip the neck of the guitar most of the time. An item to work on at slow tempos then, before movng on (and up) in tempo.
-----------------------
Your link of the day: the Zadar Sea Organ. There is also a link on the page to a similar (and from the picture, more architecturally interesting) version at the Exploratorium in San Francisco. I went to the Exploratorium in 1990, but don't remember seeing this. Like I don't have enough reason to visit SF, now this.
15 March 2006 (Wednesday)
Alarm at 6:15, rise at 6:40. Shower, sit, dress and practice (more Harmonium - tempo now creeping up to mid 80's)
A day quite literally full of meetings. I begin at 8:30 with a colleague to prep for another meeting with the business customer which will take me through the entire morning. A break for lunch with the local team, discussing favorite eating spots. I get to meet several people I've only ever spoken on the phone with, and this in itself is enlightening.
After lunch, meet with one of the Notes developers to discuss the current state of things in the world, now that I have moved on out of this technology area. Also discuss his interest in Project Management certification. Follow this with a technical change meeting, and finally a good, healthy and long meeting with the actual end users of the product that I host. There are some resentments to contend with (these folks are part of a company that we purchased, and there are other larger resentments to contend with), but these also create great opportunities for me to create goodwill and improve our standing. I find myself practicing the PAR techniques I learned last week, and am better able to get to a point where I understand some of their issues. Hopefully, I can deliver on the potential. Final meeting of the day with a customer in Berkeley, discussing a new project. A colleague here makes some practical suggestions that will make the customer's and our lives much easier for this project. They are smart enough to go with it, though we may still have some challenges with the QA people in that particular business, who are manic in how they handle certain things.
After this, through heavy traffic out to the airport. This airport is well labelled (far better than at Hobby in Houston), but lacks a gas station in the immediate vicinity, so I'm stuck with the rental company's extra fee for filling it for me. Into the airport with ample time for a bite to eat. Once at the gate, I am in a nice non-verbal conversation with a 2-year old. Her father eventually brings her over, but she gets shy (which is pretty normal). He and I talk for a bit before I get on the plane.
Uneventful flight home (though the approach to Bradley is really bumpy due to the wind). A feeling of happiness washes over me as I come in the door and the cat is there to greet me.
16 March 2006 (Thursday)
Alarms at 5:15 and 6:00, rise at 6:30. Back to the normal morning routine, and in to work by 8:30. Check out the fish tank - it's gone green with algae already. The fish exited this plane of existence on Tuesday. Have to revisit the water and the fish situation next week.
Another day of solid meetings, and little contact with my limbs during them. 'nuff said.
Home and dinner with Lisa. We watch Hayao Miyazaki's Howl's Moving Castle after dinner. Simply amazing, as all the Miyazaki works are. Good wishes sent to the YGP team at the Knitting Factory.
17 March 2006 (Friday) [232]
Alarms at 5:15 and 6:00, but an intentional lie-in until 7:30, trying to catch up from all the travelling. Shower, sit and have a quick breakfast (OJ & an English Muffin). Clean out the car, as I'll be transporting people to the funeral service today. Back inside to get logged in and clean up some items before Kerry arrives.
Out to Dale's funeral. We didn't know him personally, but we are very close to his sister and parents. The show of support at the service was remarkable. I should be so lucky in life to have this many people attend my funeral. My sense of the room was that, while it had overtones of sadness, there was a very positive energy in the room - Life was there and we all were taking part in it. My impressions of the pastor doing the service weren't all that good (how does one lead a congregation with little or no oratory skills?), but the words were genuine, meaningful, and at times brought laughter.
Back home for lunch, more work, and back-posting the past couple of day's entries. Following up on some items that are not going to plan. Ah, the last minute scramble to the end of a project.
------------------------------------
Thai dinner followed by Nausica� of the Valley of the Wind.
18 March 2006 (Saturday)
Rise at 8:00. Not feeling well today, so I lie in and generally have a day off. Grinder for lunch, and a quick nap, play some with the dog.
Out with Lisa to Puerto Vallarta for dinner, back home and watch My Neighbor Totoro. Catch some things on DIY and get sucked in. Sit & greet the community, and then to sleep.
19 March 2006 (Sunday)
Awake at 8:30, somewhat more rested. Lounge in bed and watch DIY Network for a few more hours - some very good stuff and techniques: building a chess board (lamination & joinery), installing kitchen cabinets, a bathroom remodel (including doing a concrete floor for a shower). I finally shower, sit & head downstairs at about 10:30. Lisa and I head out shortly before 11:00 to get lunch and then over to GuitarMegaCenter to assist a co-worker of hers in making some guitar purchases for her children. A few hours of poking, playing different guitars on different amps, and the kids are squared away - a Fender Strat for the son and a Takamine acoustic for the daughter. Many drool-worthy items in the store (it's their big sale event for the month), including a Warkick 5-string that I fiddled a bit with (played some Rush & Yes, the old tunes coming back surpisingly easily to the hands). I looked a Warwick when I first was getting a bass, but it was out of my price range (I "settled" on a Steinberger Q4, which I still have and love). This beauty was a shade over $1800, and frankly a steal at that price. The B-52 amp it was displayed with was pretty nice as well.
During the afternoon, I noticed a few things about the MegaCenter that I had before, but were more obvious:
- the noise was aggravating, and not just the minor flailing about by the inexperienced, occasionally interrupted by some skill and touch on the instrument. The overhead sound system was set to "don't bother thinking about your purchase"
- the staff are still very good here, and very knowledgeable. A slight push at the time of final sale for little things, but not too bad.
- their checkout system, while probably necessary for a business like this, is excruciating. It took 30 minutes to get the items all purchased and another 15 to actually get past the door monitor. This after about 2 & 1/2 hours of shopping and trying.
I did manage to leave with only one item: the latest Guitar World with the David Gilmour interview.
--------------------------
Back home and spend the afternoon waiting. Waiting for MarkP to actually do the work he committed to. Fruitless and wasted. Unnecessary stress for me, and our customer. To bed at 11:30 (though I did an AT lie-down at 6:00 PM to send good wishes to the YGP team at the Rockwood).
Last edited by AlexL on Mon Mar 20, 2006 11:56 am; edited 2 times in total
20 March 2006 (Monday) [Vernal Equinox]
Ah the arrival of Spring!
Noticed this morning as the alarms went off that there is considerably more light as I rise. Up at 6:00 and sit with the dog while the wife is in the shower. Fitful night's sleep, and no confirmation of the document load from Mark. Grrr. I am running through thoughts on the post-implementation review, as well as addressing (or heading off) the customer's concerns in this implementation. It's things like this that seriously jeopardize the likelyhood of our getting the long-term contract to support this company.
In to work by 8:00, and onto a 9:00 call to assess the current situation. The project leader is reasonable, but, having been there, I have a sense of what lies below the surface. The rest of the morning covering a few other items and lining up the 5 separate proposals I need to address for this week. Now, out to lunch and to get some items to clear up the fish tank.
---------------------
Arrgh. An afternoon defusing and diffusing. Frustrated and perturbed, though I did have a right foot in the 3:00 hour, and a right hand now. Looking to escape and go home. So much for getting home in the daylight and cleaning up leaves.
21 March 2006 (Tuesday) [232]
Late night last night awaiting the results of the last document load. Had to call and check in to find out what was happening at 10:30. Activities were completed at 12:30 AM. Dragged upstairs to bed after the dog came down to see where I was. It was late, and the pack was not together where it belonged.
Alarms at the usual times this morning, but I choose to rise at 7:00. Shower & sit (blocked in a few places during sitting - these manifested later on the drive into work). Noticed that my left hand was stone cold on the way in this morning, the right hand more normal. Patiently asking the unnecessary tension to leave. When I was fiddling with the B-52 amp on Sunday at GuitarMegaCenter, one of the guitar bits that came out was Funk #49 by the James Gang. This was on the car radio on the drive in this morning.
Morning on a two hour conference call with Germany, went reasonably well. I had been scheduled to be on this trip, but given the events of this week, it is just as well I wasn't. Lunch at Baja's and finishing up the Guitar World articles on Gilour, Waters and Floyd. For whatever reason, a song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show is going through my head (Over at the Frankenstein Place at the moment). Go figure.
22 March 2006 (Wednesday)
I think I'm going to have an aneurysm.
Rise at 6:15, sit with the dog while the shower is occupied. In to work, noticing the same cooling of the left hand as I drive. Challengins habit by changing the hand I sterr with on the trip. This seems to have a positive effect.
Morning spent quietly completing some tasks. Meetings after lunch, and learn of more issues with our data load. Notice a few more grey hairs in the mirror when I manage a break. Probably related.
Wondering what fundamental changes I need to make to address my stress.
------------------------------
Thoughtful consideration about the second violinist notion in TimB's post, though even a second violinist trains to be a first violinist. Perhaps even a second violinist on your high school band can do this...
23 March 2006 (Thursday) [233][S!]
Normal alarms, out of bed and into the shower at 6:30. Sit with dog, grab a breakfast bar and head out to work. Still stressed (I can really feel the tension in the left shoulder and my neck), though the coldness in the left hand was much better today.
Called by the project manager in NC on the way in with more problems. Use PAR (though, in retrospect, I did this more intuitively than intentionally) and get through this particular crisis. Some calls to the team, getting things rolling, clearing up some issues. There is necessary work to be done to ensure that actions are spelled out clearly before it begins (as well as knowing where we are beginning from).
Talk to a friend I haven't spoken with in a while. Updates on her life and plans to build a house. She actually found a builder in New England that isn't building 3-4000 square-foot homes (as most around here seem to be). A simple 1200 square-foot raised ranch.
--------------------------
The day brightens considerably with the arrival of BrandonK in NJ. Welcome to the growing circle!
--------------------------
So, the day roars to a close. More items to address, apologies for off-handed remarks made by people on my team, meetings to schedule, people to assuage, new project items to address, lists, lists, lists. To top it off, our company puts in a significant bid to acquire another European pharmaceutical. Time to go home.
Arrive home, change and take the dog out. After this, we scrounge in the fridge and cobble together dinner: scrambled eggs with cheese, chorizo and mushrooms, english muffins and tea. Watch the first episode of Big Love on EoD, then head up to bed. Watch a bit of DIY, then to sleep. Tomorrow is a busy day.
24 March 2006 (Friday)
Dog goes off at 2:30, alarms at 5:15 and 6:00. Up at 6:20, shower and out to work. Hands much better on the drive this morning, and the left shoulder doing better.
In to find that one process that was supposed to be completed last night wasn't, another was. The one that wasn't completed was ours, the completed one was the client. Spent 20 minutes on the phone with the PM defusing and diffusing. Calls to the team to get a status update and verify that we can go ahead with our last major system test (which should have been completed a month ago).
Mail from the registrar regarding my joining the GC journals. I'm all set to go, my commitment there begins tomorrow. I will likely quiesce this journal at the end of the month. My personal journal will be on my own web site here, and the GC Journal will be here (probably not public at this time).
----------------------------
I am a stressed-out, pretzel-shaped, basket-case loony today. Fortunately, I got an e-mail from a diary well-wisher, remembered my left hand, had a lie-down and I felt much better. Still can't quite shake a sinking feeling, but definitely feel more whole.
Afternoon working with two very talented and dedicated people to address our most serious issue on the project. No real progress, but this is not due to lack of, or quality of, effort. We are simply defeated by the unexplainable failure of technology. Fortunately, the customer PM is level headed, works with the QA people to get agreement on a backup plan, and we are on for the weekend. Hope returns.
Now, 7:02 PM, briefly attempting to recall what I had for lunch. Grilled tuna on rye with curly fries and Sprite Zero. Once I recall this, most of the day is available to me. Perhaps I was more present than I thought.
25 March 2006 (Saturday) [1/365]
Rose at 6:08 this morning, partly due to the dog, mostly due to this project that never seems to end. Sat and greeted the community on this 21st anniversary. Took an extra moment to greet the people I will be working with today, sending good wishes. English muffin and a cup of tea (the tea unfinished as I write this) for breakfast.
Rotating through the limbs I notice the extreme tension is back in my left shoulder, increasing as I deal with one particular person. I ask it to go, but it returns. It often returns as I deal with this person, and I seek to express an action to him that seems like common sense to me, but despite repeated requests, seeems incapable of carrying out. I have a momentary flash that this pain and my expectations are related.
Now nearly 11:30 and we are still addressing small, but fixable, issues. I will attempt lunch, and return to get an update.
4:15 - LF First half of our data load is completed and verified, and the second load has begun. With a little luck and a generous network, we will have the data loaded tonight and the first verification pass complete by midnight. One more day of high pressure to go. The knot is still there, but not as persistent. There is Hope. I did notice, however, that the unfinished cup of tea from this morning is still at my desk. Off to the kitchen with you!
Took a break after the final verification. While waiting to find out about whether we could address another small data load Monday rather than now, attempted a shower. Cut short, as apparently in addition to one cat that is a very good mouser, the dog is as well. He probably could have eaten it, but my wife felt it was wrong of him to do so.
9:57 - RH Take-out dinner of pork in spicy black tea sauce. Real craving for chicken tikka masala foiled as, the real recipes take a lot longer than I had expected, and the local Indian places have either closed or are under remodeling. Still, a good meal, and watching the last of the new (for us) Miyazaki's (Porco Rosso). Now, waiting to see what the results of tonight's data loads are, to get some of the preliminary work done tonight. If this does not happen, I may not be able to make it to MarkB's birthday party.
26 March 2006 (Sunday)
"Suffer Cheerfully". Indeed, and as many others have noted, how does it know?
Rise at 6:10 and immediately head downstairs to review last nights work by the team. No joy. Looks like gremlins in the network or servers effectively corrupted many of the files, enough so that there is really no way to tell which unless all 7000 files are opened individually (file sizes match but the contents on the destination look like they've been through a cuisinart. No birthday party for me today. Regrets sent, and a few other phone calls made.
Once the process was restarted (one of the team not available until after noon), I head out to do some physical labor and shake off the tension that has built up over the past week. Lie-downs are helping, but aren't quite enough. Slinging a mulcher-vac around for about two hours helps significantly. Headphones on underneath hearing protection, listening to some Steve Ball stuff I have on the Palm. Nice backdrop to the spring day.
Lunch of left-overs (unused portions for Patrick) and back to the team for a status check. Things are progressing, slowly, but they are progressing. A plan of action laid out, and then reviewed with the PM. back to e-mail and begin responding to the deluge that arrives from my manager. He was travelling all last week, and was the moderator for most of the meetings he was in, so unlike the people in his meetings, he couldn't do his e-mail. Many things, due tomorrow, naturally.
As I start responding to his e-mails, he calls me, and we have a good talk about this project and my sense of the team's performance. A difficult thing - they have both been working flat out for the past week, but have been in a hurried state, so many mistakes made, some bad judgement calls, and some things said in frustration that might not have been appropriate. This in addition to just simple technology issues which can come from left field and be gone just as quickly with little or no explanation. (For you non-computer people, it's just as frustrating to us.) So, I discuss with my manager how I can reward them for their hard work, while still acknowledging that there were some things that could have been done more optimally. I have many sources to draw on here, and I will likely need all of them.
Late afternoon call with the team - they are getting close. 4 of 5 loads are done, though the largest remains. Some file size discrepancies, though I cannot find a definitive way to explain them. It has to do with how UNIX and Windows handle starting a new line in a text file. Pretty esoteric, and I doubt anyone has ever bothered to do a real analysis of the issue. Unfortunately, Quality Assurance people want more detail, and if I can't produce anything definitive, I may have to verify a couple hundred text files.
- 9:25 PM Sometimes God laughs. So, we are nearly done, and we have a major power outage in our data center. Suddenly, everything is on hold and larger issues present themselves. I definitely got into IT for the glory of it.
27 March 2006 (Monday) [3/365]
Rise at 3:55 after going to bed at 2:10. Situation in the central data center is no better now than earlier. So, I foresee a long(er) day ahead. Consider lying down again, but opt not to. Mentally, I hear my self making the clear choice to go upstairs, shower, dress, and go to work. That same voice says "this will be just like a course", and then says "protect your sleep".
Shower, brief sitting to make contact with the body and out to the car. I bring pillows with me, in case I need a quick nap in the office, which I probably will.
Many conference calls, this morning, getting updates, giving information, discovering things about certain configurations that don't make me a happy boy. Review some of these things with my manager and get an adjustment in how I understand the service is being implemented. My interpretation and expectations, which I'm sure are similar to the customers, are a challenge.
5:44 PM LH
The day is drawing to a close, and our tasks are nearly done. The last of the death march tasks are coming to a close, and barring anything really strange should be complete by 6:30 PM. Striving to be positive, but I actually have butterflies about the completion. Our data center is better, but there are still some issues, including one that prevents one of the team's servers to boot from the network. But, progress still.
Managed lunch in the cafe with a few of the local colleagues. On the way in, I felt a cramp in my left hamstring, probably indicating that I've become dehydrated in the past couple days. I had the sense that being outside in the warm sun for a moment filled me more Life. I really wanted to be home clearing out leaves in the yard.
6:44 PM
Death march ends. Data and verification delivered and the PM signs off. They will go live with the system tomorrow.
Now: Drive, Home, Eat, Sleep. In that order.
28 March 2006 (Tuesday) [4/365] [S!234]
Alarm this morning at 6:00, at 6:03 I am on a conference call to get the latest information on the server status. As it turns out, there are still problems, data to be copied, tests to be run, so it will be a while. Nice being able to do this in bed. Also, having gotten my first full night's sleep in 4 days, I feel much more alive.
Sit with the dog while the shower is occupied, shower and head in to work. No change by the time I get in, sending updates to concerned parties. Looks like we'll be the last one up.
The server is up by 11:00, and everything checks out. Run through the file system with one of the team and everything seems to check out - we have data right up until the crash, so from a recovery standpoint, we are 100%. Sometimes God smiles.
PM from our just delivered project calls with an issue. Not really critical from a functional standpoint, but becasue this is a validated system, if things don't match the documentation exactly, people freak out. Run through some options with him, with the aim to regroup in an hour. Basically, it's a new feature of the software we deployed, a feature we never noticed because it takes a couple clicks to get to. The discrepancies are addressed to the customer's satisfaction, and the official go-live e-mail is sent.
Head off to a divisional meeting for an update on last year's results, this year's progress, and the aquisition status. Coming out of the meeting , I told a couple colleagues that this was the first time in four years that I haev come out of a meeting feeling good about how things are going. Even the cynical voice in my head is keeping quiet.
One last meeting to give an update on an upgrade. On hold for the moment as we address some technical (relatively easy) and political (not so easy) issues. Head out, and give a call to my wife to see what she wants to do for dinner (I have no energy to make dinner). I suggest Indian, and the elusive chicken tikka masala. Get home with the dinner booty, and we watch the rest of the Dark Kingdom episode that we didn't finish last night. Then to bed.
29 March 2006 (Wednesday) [5/365] [233]
Alarms at the usual times, but I rise at 6:30. Fatigued from the past week of work, stress and pressure, and today I'm really feeling it. Out of the house by 7:10 and in to work by about 8:15 due to traffic.
Internal radio is playing Paul McCartney's Jenny Wren (Chaos and Creation in the Backyard has been on the house stereo all weekend) and Jethro Tull's Fat Man (immediately after stepping off the scale this morning). Another George Harrison song I don't recall the name of is also lodged there.
In reviewing my actions the past few days I ralized that when I made any questionable decisions, I was largely out of contact with the rotation of limbs exercise. Also, on the whole, I was fairly calm, and more able to manage my emotions (though there were a few roller-coaster moments).
This morning engulfed in meetings - the repercussions of the data center power outage are beginning to show themselves, and now, even though we recovered well and in a timely fashion, the business units are swooping in for the follow-up. I've been delegated a number of meetings so that my manager(s) can deal with it. Eventually, I'll be involved, but that will be a bit down the road. Meanwhile, I get to carry on woth the day-to-day stuff.
First meeting with the customers on a new project. This goes well and I am looking forward to working with them. Also, I may be forced to travel at least 2 times out to Berkeley, CA for a few days this spring to be available for go-live activities. (And by forced I mean, tell me when and I'll be there in a heatbeat).
Another recollection from the end of this cycle of stress - Monday after I had confirmed completion of the project delivery, before I left the office, I picked up the Baby taylor for a run-through of Harmonium and some other light work to remind my hands what a guitar was. During some right hand work I found a set of chords and picking patterns that were just alive, with the quality of two other pieces I've had download before, Columbia and Reunion. First part is written, waiting for PowerTab so the next part can happen. Still amazed when these things appear, and more amazed that I can be present enough to get them in my hands and on paper.
Now some lunch.
-------
Last meetings complete, and I am able to leave at a more reasonable time today (only at work for 9 hours today). Half-jokingly, we call this a half day. Get home, take the dog out and spend one hour doing yard cleanup (mostly leaves). In to have dinner (chicken, potatoes, corn from Boston Market). Watch the end of Napoleon Dynamite and get to hear Harmonium for the first time as the PCO peformed it.
Now, Lisa is home and time for bed.
30 March 2006 (Thursday) [6/365]
Alarms go off at the usual times, as does the dog (somewhere in between the 5:15 and 6:00). Sit with the dog, and then stay sitting in bed for a while as Lisa wants to talk for a bit. She really needed to unload about work. Still stiving to get to a point where she can work because she wants to, not because she has to. A dream for all of us, really.
In to work by 8:00, good mojo from the past couple days has continued. Several good e-mails from the client and local IT management for our project, much praise and support for our effort. One from a former manager of mine that leaves me feeling particularly good about the work I've done over the past few weeks on this project. I've been very fortunate, in that I have had a very good support structure in this company that helps and allows me to succeed. No matter how I feel about the company, some of the less desirable business decisions made, or the events I get dragged into, these people continue to nourish my career.
Productive team meeting regarding our current project load, wrapped up in time to cover other issues. We get other regular items completely covered, and I can cancel the afternoon meeting, which means other things can get done that might not otherwise.
Also noticing better contact with the limbs. Right foot very present at 2:00 PM.
------------
Leave the office at 4:45 - I could get used to having a normal schedule again. Home, change and head out for another hour or so in the yard. More leaves up, mulched and put back down. Had my Palm and some music playing under the ear protection, but the soft case for the unit didn't stop my movement from switching things on and off, or popping out the memory card. Time for a hard case (and maybe a bigger memory card).
Now, dinner, this journal, and to bed.
31 March 2006 (Friday) [7/365][234]
Alarms at the usual time, out of bed at 6:30. Took my time this morning to be aware of the routine I have developed for getting up, ready and out of the house to work. Efficient in its own way, but has moved to the point of being automatic. This may not be bad, but it is worth reviewing with open eyes. I know the automatic served me well at the beginning of the week.
In to work by 8:15, with a conscious decision to get out of the building by 4:30 at the latest. This means I need to prepare to leave at 4:00. Morning meeting with one of my team to cover the post go-live issues, and then the whole team plus others in the development group we work with regularly, a monthly state of the system chat. Good exchange on projects, whatis happening, what is coming, and some future considerations about how we can market ourselves internally (which actually includes some external marketing). Good stuff.
Some reading in the PM journal about project closeout in preparation for a meeting I plan for late April. I want to be sure the implementation of this project is analyzed to a reasonable degree, so we can improve how we implement projects and, more importantly, how we deal with our customers. No easy thing to do wihtout some emotion.
Lunch on the shore at a seafood place (actually, a literal shack across from a pier). Lobster roll, lobster bisque, curly fries and a Stewart's birch beer. Most of the crew from the department came down, and had a good relaxed lunch. Given everything that has happened in the past week, it was a necessary relief. Many discussions about work and non-work items, all looking forward to the weekend, with or without rain. But for today, 70� F, sunshine, light ocean breeze and good food; all a welcome change.
Afternoon meetings to cover another new project (process improvement in the department) and a go-live follow-up meeting. 4:00 looks promising.
---------------------------
I expect this to be my last post onthe YGP BBS. You can find my continuing journals at these sites:
On my own web site here
The GC Journal site here (probably not public at this time).
Thanks to all of the members of the YGP for allowing me to be a part of this team.
Previous Entries:
