Working my way back in time, this past weekend was (intended to be) a recording weekend with the YGP (minutes to be posted on the NYGC web site). Technical issues presented themselved in arbitrary ways (anyone who claims a Mac is more stable than a PC is fooling themselves). So, after a bit of flailing Friday nigght, and Saturday morning, we cut our losses and reassign this as a work weekend. Some good work done, particularly dealing with time on our 6th piece, squeaky. Sunday morning, found us beginning something important, in my mind: more intentional circulation.

We (the YGP) have always circulated in our meetings, but it has really been by rote, to a certain extent. Guitar circles circulate, so therefore we circulate. Our circulations can have a magic, and even begin to take off, but inevitably they crash and burn, peter out, and generally fall apart. I don't believe this is because of anyone intentioanlly out to harm the circulation. What it reveals to me is pretty basic: the difference between 6 individuals playing some notes and a group playing music. There is so much work to be done here, and it seems like we made a good start of it (even given some discussion and differences of opinion on the parameter chosen).

The two weeks previous have amounted to marathon work sessions for the divestiture of a part of our company. I think I logged 65 and 73 hours respectively, which doesn't include the 2 hours round-trip travel time for me to get to and from work. Oh, and throw in some YGP and NYGC guitar circle meetings, and an open mic performance at the Hudson Valley Folk Guild. And maybe some time with my wife and the dog at home.

This morning was spent following up on a change made last night for this divestiture. Fortunately for me, it appears that the change has had no impact, so I can move on to the next thing. That's the struggle with these system level changes: Do No Harm.

Awake early, as my brain switched on with the first alarm. Out of the house by 6, and at work before 7. Some late work from yesterday seemed to have completed overnight without issues. Now, in an endless training call for a system I really don't want to use.

Very interesting to observe the associatve nature of the Diaries. A note and picture from Robert's diary is associatively explained by the wife of another diarist who came from the area where the monument in the picture came from. Facinating how information can travel.

On a fast burn again today for the carveout project. Moving literally hundreds of databases, and performing simple, but awkward administrative functions to get everything to work correctly. The "project manager" (one of at least 8) is a pointed tree trunk.

V-day looms and once again I am at a loss.

I try not to despair, but when I leave work with a migraine and forget to do things (which leap into my mind at 2:30 in the morning), it's hard to be optimistic. So many things I need to do, and I'm to tired or frustrated to do them.

Long weekend, with some very good work done. To recap:

Saturday was spent primarily with the YGP. Had an interesting time observing the result of not paying attention to the 7-1 line. I hadn't done two necessary things the night before: putting gas in the car and printing out the Kitchen Enneagram from the studies. I got up late, and was scrambling to get all this done, and ened up leaving 30 minutes later than I had planned. Fortunately, the meeting started an hour later than I had expected, but this did not diminish the impact of the lapse in attention.

Sunday was intended to be a work day, but I ended up doing more shopping than cleaning, though a few necessary things were done to bring the house in order. I made pizza for dinner (one chicken/pesto/fresh mozzarella/asparagus and one pesto/spinach/feta/fig). I also made panna cotta.

Change control cut short tonight - a piece of the configuration is missig. Will talk to one of the hardware guys about it tomorrow.

So, last night, I am presented with something very disheartening: two people that I have known and loved for the past 18 years are separating. He has decided that this relationship is no longer for him. He doesn't know what is for him, just that this isn't. My sense of it is this: he is having a mid-life crisis, and can't quite express or deal with it. I think the decision was really made months ago, and, for whatever reason, is now final. In Guitar Craft, we speak of an ending being a Finish, a Conclusion, or a Completion. This is a Finish, in totality, with all the commensurate loss of energy and forward motion. The best I can do is to be available to both, in whatever capacity I can, and perhaps provide some energy to get them both back to the 1.

My wife and I often look at each other and wonder what is wrong with us. Nearly all of our friends have been divorced (at least once), or are struggling in difficult relationships. While we disagree, and even fight on occasion, we neer seem to carry the same degree of bitterness towards each other that we see others do. Things may seem bad at times, but we never despair. We adjust. We grow. We're wierd.

So I sit here today, in a very wierd state, wondering what's next. I suppose that's a waste of energy, but, in human terms, I suppose it's inevitable. More rotation of the limbs t keep me focused.