When I say action I really mean the action that strayed away from the entire movie and tried to make the movie suspenseful. This of course did not work. It starts out with a snowboarder going down a snow hill. He is trying to escape a killer that is chasing him. The camera work is terrible. The killer pops out of no where and pulls a string connected to a tree. It decapitates the snowboarder. It was freaking stupid. They all travel in a jeep in which the conversations they were having were pointless as all hell. They finally make it to the resort. Some of the boarders get anxious and take off while Cole starts using a BLOW TORCH. Yeah, a blow torch to break into the resort. Where he got the damn thing I will never know. Everyone that goes snow boarding brings one of them around. The camera work is extremely terrible. It just shows the snowboarders face close to the screen as they bounce up and down simulating they are boarding. They walk up to the resort building thats run down and abandoned. They start talking about a snowboarding championship and this is where they crossed the line. The camera guy Skylar mentions JOHN WOO and the movie The Killer. Never again will this shit movie refer to a god like film. They go to some night club. All the boarders especially Skylar are getting freaked out that the people are all staring at them? Why? The bar tender repeatedly tells them to stay away from Rocky Summit. It shows the main characters playing truth or drink. And they start stripping and stupid shit. Pointless filler for the movie obviously. It gets real fucked up when they just start pulling underwear from under thier shirt and pants. A sheriff walks in and tells them they have to leave. Robyn starts flirting with him and Cole pays him off. The fucking Sheriff actually lets them stay because he got to grab Robyn's ass and he recieved like 20 bucks. Great name that gives Sheriffs around the world. Kimberly starts telling a story of a little girl that got killed on the hill. She starts the whole thing off with this line. "A hundred years ago, when snowboarding was like new." Yeah its that bad. Two snowboarders were acused of killing the little girl. When the cops went to arrest them they were no where to be found. They show the supposed killer walk up to the snowboards that were left outside. The killer starts unscrewing the screws on it. How Evil.
Kimberly starts walking around in a night gown looking for thier friend Christov. The sheriff is walking outside and gets a screw driver to the eye. How Brutal! This is just getting retarded. There is seriously 15 minutes to this part consisting of walking around the lodge. Skylar and Kirk are smoking pot as they go up the snow lift. There is a sign that says jumping from chair may result in death. So Kirk jumps. But didnt die. Bullshit. Some shitty punk music starts playing and they try and get more shots of good snowboarding but they are all lame. The killer pops out from around a tree wearing black. I think he was trying to hide himself but this black clothing stood out real well with the snow white backdrop. Kirk hears voices near an old shed. The killer slams his axe into Kirk's board. All Kirk does is look at it and say, "Look at that gouge". Then he gets stabbed by an icicle. Okay this part is fucking funny but weird. Robyn is going up on the snow lift. The hill gets close to the chair and the killer rides up on skis and sits next to her. She starts talking to him and he is ignoring her like the average killer in movies. But why in the hell did he have to go and sit next to her..... Just listen to this. The killer keeps pointing to skier signs. Robyn gets upset and the killer pulls out a pamphlet and sticks it in her face pointing at it. She tosses him off the lift..... Fucking wierd. Skylar is filming a girl on the hill and he durfs. Which was quite funny. Robyn falls off the ski lift in which was only a few inches off the ground. Her scarf gets caught around her neck and it miracualously ties in a knot around a pole on the lift. She gets drug then hung out to dry. She hangs around the resort for awhile. Literally. They show her like 4 times. Skylar gets up and starts talking to the mystery girl skier. They are talking while going up the lift. The dialogue is worse than terrible. Fake ass shit. She unzips her coat to show she is nude under the suite. Then her and Skylar just start kissing and shit. What the fuck is going on? The bartender from the club rides up on a snow mobile. Its the girls dad. He yells at skylar saying that they should never have gone there. He tells Skylar not to talk to his slut of a daughter. When the main characters are walking they find a hand sticking out of a snowman that was built. The dead sheriff is in there. The killer actually built a snowman around his body. o.0. They think that the tag along Christov killed everybody. Kimberly gets naked with Christov and they sit in a hot tub. Kimberly finds out that he is a joke. Throughout the whole movie he was pretending to be a foreigner. Really his name is Chris Ramos. Chris says that he is responsible for the death of the little girl. Chris says that his friends were killed because the girl died. The bartender is supposedly the one who killed them. Skylar and the Lesbo go into the shed where Kirk was killed. They look around for awhile and totally oblivious to the little dead girl perserved in a chair. THEY ACTUALLY KEPT THE DEAD GIRL IN A SHED!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!?!? The killer starts chasing them and Skylar gets an axe to the leg. The Lesbo hits the killer with her board and they take off. Cole finds his supposed girlfriend Kimberly Screwing Chris. As the Lesbo starts telling Cole about the shed. It looks like she is laughing. The killer finds Chris alone in the hot tub. He beats him in the head with a shovel. YES! The boarders go and find that thier Jeeps engine is all messed up by the killer. They actually find all the dead bodies of thier friends laying out in the snow and there are snow angels made where they lay....... Oh....my....God. This is the moment the movie really layed on the bullshit. They revealed why they are getting killed. Its because they are breaking rules at the resort. By using drugs and acting carelessly. The only reason some of them are still alive is because they didnt do anything wrong yet. Wow. I was appalled too. Kimberly sits on the couch and holds a fire poker. As they fix Skylars leg the Lesbo says, "I should charge you extra for multiple piercings". He says, "I have a cupon." Kimberly goes into the basement to find a phone or something. She opens up a closet door and there are two bodies in there. There are just too many dead people just laying around. I mean those last two were skeletons that have been there for many years.. You think that with that much time the killer would have got the notion to bury them all incase someone stumbled upon the shed or the closet in the basement. But no, this movie just couldnt handle reason. The Lesbo kisses Cole as they are working on the Jeep. I dont care, she is still a Lesbo for the sake of this review. She said that they should lounge around in thier underwear. That is the first thing she thinks of when they are being hunted and thier friends are dead. The killer finds his way into the lodge. He goes upstairs and kills Skylar by stabbing a poker through the camera into his eye. Kimberly looks up to see the blood from Skylar dripping through the vent. Yeah, Skylars fake head is spilling blood out like mad. Kimberly hides in a closet as the killer just passes by. When she tries to use the walkie talkie the feedback alerts the killer. When she doesnt hear the killer banging anymore she runs out and gets killed. BOO YA!.. the bitch is dead. The Lesbo gets the car running as Cole runs into the house looking for kimberly. The killer grabs onto the door as the Lesbo speeds off in reverse. The killer tumbles and its fucking funny. Then she goes to ram him and he dives out of the way just in the nick of time. The lesbo runs into a shed and her head slams against the steering wheel. The killer hits her, drags her and puts her with the rest of thier friends. Cole finds her and gets pissed. He starts yelling for the killer to come get him as he rides up the lift. The killer stops it and soemone comes after him on a snow mobile. Cole falls out of the lift that had stopped and into a tree. He holds on for a second then falls hitting the man on the snow mobile. Its some guy with a rifle. Cole exchanges words with him about the murders and then he hits the man with the rifle. Cole looks back and sees he is being chased by yet another guy on a snow mobile. As Cole boards away he dodges a rope. The killer on the snow mobile doesnt see it and his head gets taken off. Cole makes his way to the club they had gone to earlier. No one was there. When Cole opens up the back door he walks out and turns to see a huge snow shredder. He had closed the door and its locked from the inside. The killer in the drivers seat is the innocent girl that made out with Skylar on the lift. She gets out and says snowboarders off my mountain, as the shredder is still running. The Lesbo comes out of no where with a 12 gauge on the roof of the club. She shoots the killer girl twice and she flies into the shredder. Its freaking hilarious. Freaking blood and the whole nine yards shoots out the shredder. As the Lesbo and Cole are walking away Cole asks her if she is Bisexual. And thats the way these genious' ended the movie. I dont recommend seeing this movie... its extremely terrible. So I throw this one in its tomb and leave it to rot. Later |
