It shows a cemetary security gaurd walking down a pathway. He finds two young guys, Mike and George, grave digging. They are digging up their Uncle Anwar. (A funny thing added into the movie is on Anwar's tombstone. It says "I'll Be Back.") George throws some dirt in the security gaurds face. Mike knocks him out with a shovel and his eyes pop out. They remove the brain from the body of thier Uncle Anwar with a saw. But instead of pulling it out the head it pops out a small slit that they made with the saw. They bring the BRAIN YES THE BRAIN, back to life with black magic of SHEETAR! The next characters that are introduced into the movie are THE AMAZING MIKE SHEPPARD, THE MAN WITH THE GOOFIEST VOICE I HAVE EVER HEARD. and another no name actor Police Chief Miller. The Chief is telling Sheppard that he is getting a new partner, Sheeba Jackson. They talk for awhile about the grave digging, and the killing of the security gaurd. The Nephews, Mike and George are sitting by the brain of Anwar in a jar. They are listening to it TALK! yeah I was appalled too. It tells them how they need good body parts from women to create SHEETAR! The next person that is introduced into the movie is Connie. She is with a few friends at the Nephew's vegetarian diner, Tutman's. She is getting hasseled by some no brain cheerleaders about showing some cleavage, no rather be in a NUDE AEROBICS VIDEO, WHAT!? WHY!? Guess we'll never know. Anyway she sheds some tears and one of the retarded cheerleaders gets a ticket and runs out.(All the while extremely bad acting) George puts Anwar's brain in a hidden window/mirror so he can select good women to get the body parts from. They also need a vergin to sacrafice for the coming of SHEETAR! They introduce my favorite character, Heracio Titus. AKA Vitamin. He is talking about how he loves the vege burgers. Well little does he know the main ingredient in the vege burger is dog penis. You dont have to look real hard but when Mike goes to grab the guest list for Connie there is a list with the ingredients for the vege burgers. *Good line by Heracio, "That's the best friggin vege burger I've had in a son-of-a-bitch long time. And Ive eaten vege burgers all over the world. I've eaten at health food hangouts where the soup aint fit to piss in."* Heracio keeps telling George, who is a big wrestling fan, to turn the channel when wrestling is on. Finally when he says, "Turn that damn channel I can't stand that homo sport no more." George punches him in the face. Now here is the most pointless part in the movie. They show the Nude Aerobics being taped. Now some idiots that are "Nudity Obsessed" will like this part. But for people who look for reason, this is just way out there. I mean NO REASON FOR THIS PART. Thankfully George in a Ronald Reagan mask runs in and guns them all down. A nice headshot on some idiot jumping around. He must be some cheer coordinator. He got it the best. George and mike cut up the bodies and take all the good parts. The cops come and clean up the mess. *Sheppard says,"Looks like someone had a do-it-yourself lunchmeat party."* The Chief says something pretty funny too. He says, "Monsterously inhuman degenerate behavior. Arms sawed off, organs removed, heads severed from thier bodies. 9 perfectly good tongues ripped from thier young white throats.* Mike Sheppard meets his new partner Sheeba Jackson and they both are going to work on the murders. It goes back to the diner showing him cut food with the same saw they used on the bodies. It is a pretty basic day at the diner when a wrestler named Jimmy Hitler is on the T.V. and George is getting all bent out of shape. Heracio asks him if he can wrestle as good as he cooks. George chokes Heracio until he vomits all over. I mean it goes all over customers and everything. It was hilarious. Afterwards they give him more food and he says, " Now I have to start all over again." LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. HE JUST VOMITTED ALL OVER AFTER BEING CHOKED. Oh well i quit asking questions about this film. It shows Mike and George piecing together the soon to be SHEETAR! They need the stomachs of two tramps so they go to a club in town. They are dressed in some horribly cheesy outfits. Well before they get into the club they get stopped by some guy and he says they cant get in without being on the list. They throw him in the road and a low rider with hydrolics bounces right on his head. IT LOOKS SO UN REAL. Its Basically a large inflatable head, that FILLS BACK UP WHEN THE TIRE BOUNCES UP AGAIN. The other bouncer even asks him if he is okay. UH WELL HIS HEAD JUST GOT CRUSHED AND BLOOD WENT FLYING BUT I THINK HE'LL BE OKAY. It continues from inside the club and when Anwar said they needed two tramps well they get some real winners. All the sudden for no reason it shows Sheeba and Mike Sheppard questioning some other health food diner cook and there is a dummy at the counter with a bowl of soup. IT IS REALLY TALKING. I KID YOU NOT! It goes back to Mike and George's Diner where they have taken the tramps, Peggy and Joanne. Joanne and george go into a back room and mike stays out front with peggy. There is another pointless nudity scene where Mike is basting Peggy with batter. All of the sudden he throws a bowl of batter in her face and rams her head into the deep fryer. When she pulls her head out it looks LIKE A GIANT HUSH PUPPY. WHY WHY WHY!? When she runs back at Mike he knocks her head off IN ONE SWIPE WITH A BROOM. IT FLIES INTO THE ROOM WITH JOANNE AND GEORGE. Joanne gets up and sees Mike pulling the stomach out of Peggy and she starts walking into the back room in fright and pulls open a freezer with more body parts. She screams and takes off and finds out she dropped her purse. SO SHE RUNS BACK TO GET IT RISKING HER LIFE. AND AS USUALL EVERYTHING FALLS OUT KEEPING HER THERE LONGER. WHEN SHE IS FINALLY READY TO SAVE HER LIFE SHE IS MET BY GEORGE AND HE CUTS HER IN HALF WITH A MEAT CLEAVER. EVEN IF THAT WAS POSSIBLE THERE GOES THE STOMACH BUT OH WELL. Mike and George are taking out the extra body parts to dispose of and writes on the wall with spray paint. Trespassers will be eaten. I found it amuzing. That night one of the pendants is found on a victims hand in a garbage can by a woman. Sheeba and Sheppard take it to some crazy acheologist. She gets all into the story and tells them about how there was great lust and drugs in the Amon Lu Mo Sheeta Ra, which means Blood Buffet. Scary huh...nah not really. The movie then gets back to the boys making the "Puri of Maiden Stomach" and within 48 hours the moon aligns with jupiter, and SHEETAR! will take her body. The final pieces they need are the lungs and liver of two sluts to complete the Blood Buffet. Micheal asks Connie out on a date and uses hypnosis, well for the movie, really he just stares at her with a goofy look. Under hypnosis she agrees and walks out. Now this part in the movie was just un called for. There is a fat man on the road pissing and moaning about his broke down motorcycle. George is driving the Tutman van and runs the fat man over. To add to the silliness he gets back up and George backs over him. This little scene goes on for about 5 minutes. George just repeatedly runs the fat man over again and again with some stupid music playing in the background. Later in the movie you find out that the man didnt even die from getting hit by the van he died of a heart attack. MEANINGLESS....anyway. George finds a girl named Sidney and her boyfriend Buzz about to make children, but it almost looks like a rape scene. I think I recall Buzz saying i am so horny I could fuck a cow. Well while he continues to tear her clothes off, George comes up from behind him and throws him into the wall. Now this is no fancy action scene, when the guy hits the wall it looks so corny. And after Buzz gets knocked out the naked kung fu artist Sidney starts to fight george. SERIOUSLY. SHE IS DOING KARATE TO FIGHT HIM OFF. Cheesy as hell, with some stupid kung fu wanna be music in the back ground. UNBELIEVABLE. Well she knocks George out and runs to tend to Buzz when a stalagtite from hell lands on her skull. The fake head is amazingly stupid looking but hilarious. MAN THE DIRECTOR OF THE MOVIE WAS JUST NOT THINKING AT ALL. THATS WHY I LOVE THIS MOVIE. AT LEAST HE DIDNT CAST BEN AFFLEK. Before I get started on that lets continue. The movie then goes to Sheeba and Sheppard talking to Chief Miller about a similar occurance with another man on the police force Paul Stanton. The Brain of Uncle Anwar starts telling George and Mike that they need many people for the blood feast. Paul Stanton, the other cop that was involved in the the occurance of the murders, is met by Mike Sheppard. He tells Sheppard that he was the one who shot Anwar. You find out that the Virgin girl that Mike and George are going to capture is his daughter, Connie Stanton. And out of no where, it shows George getting ready for a wrestling match with a guy named Jimmy Hitler. Why!!!?? you never get any answers in this film. George gets his ass kicked for awhile, as usuall in all fight scenes in films, when Mike in the audiance shoots a sling shot and hits Jimmy Hitler. While off gaurd George takes him down and starts kicking his ass. While he is wrenching down on the guys leg he bites a piece out of his leg and spits it at Connie Stanton who is there on the date with Mike. After George wins Mike and Connie are walking out and she wants to go home. Mike knocks her out and George and Mike take off in the van. They stop at a fast food area where Sheeba Jackson is sitting eating. Mike Sheppard gives her the last name Namtut for any leads, and she notices that on the back of the van it says Tutman. So she wants him to meet her at thier diner to check it out. Sheeba chases them and finds them at the diner. But Mike comes up behind her and knocks her out. When Mike and george go to sacrafice Connie, they find that their uncles brain is gone. They remember that the other diner owner Stan had been snooping around so they go there to check it out. Anwar's brain had been giving Stan the wrong recipes and held him off long enough for his Nephews to get there. They corner Stan and he takes off throwing the brain at them. George catches the brain and they take off toward Stan. As Stan dangles his hands out the bars of the door trying to unlock it, Mike and George cut off one of his hands. He gets up and gets into his car trying to start it up. When he goes to close the door Mike gets his other hand and leaves Stan steering the car with no hands. George screams, "Stumpy Stan". Good line by Stan *Make me a cripple will ya, cut off my hands and laugh at me will ya.* All the while he is saying that he is trying to manuver his car with no hands spraying the windshield with blood. It was hilarious. Mike Sheppard saves Sheeba and they get to chasing Mike and George. Mike and George are taking the host body for SHEETAR!! and Connie to a night club where they are going have all the people dancing there possesed and dine on the Blood Buffet. They put Anwar's Brain in the host body. A funny thing George does is he takes the other brain and throws it at the wall right next to Connie, it was great. Now when Mike is chanting the words for SHEETAR!! to come, all of the people dancing start to become possesed. But by showing that they have become possesed they just paint thier face green. AMAZING SPECIAL AFFECTS. Before Mike can sacrafice Connie, Sheeba shoots the knife out of his hands. The ending was just over the top, grituidous overuse of blood. There was a band on stage and the musicians had Nazi outfits on. What this director had with the Nazi's and Hitler I'll never know. It's just utter chaos. There was people eating eachother, heads exploding, heads being ripped off, mass homicide, SHEETAR!! shooting electricity. She shoots a bolt through this guys head and his ear pops off shooting blood. When she hits another guy with it his head explodes which was great because he hit the ground twitching. Mike gets shot in the eye trying to force Connie into some kind of mouth that is coming out of SHEETAR'S!!! stomach. George throws a meat hook into Sheppards leg for killing Mike and drags him closer to SHEETAR. Sheeba kicks George and his head goes right into the orafice. They all run out and the stage blows. The very ending was appalling. It shows a woman walking and some guy comes driving up and wants her to get in. It turns out to be SHEETAR!! When she gets in he asks for her names and she answers SHEETAR!! in some daemonic voice, and also bearing sharp teeth. THE GUY DOESNT CARE. HE JUST KEEPS DRIVING. WOW I CALL THAT DESPERATE.
THE END THANK GOD........ |
