 |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Extreme Ops |
 |
| Director: Christian Duguay (what was he thinking) |
| Cast |
 |
|
| Devon Sawa: Will |
| Rufus Sewell: Ian |
| Klaus Lowitsch: Pavle |
| Bridgette Wilson Sampras: Chloe |
| Heino Ferch: Mark |
| Joe Absolom: Silo |
| Rupert Graves: Jeffrey |
| Jean-Pierre Castaldi: Zaron |
| ::Other Movies:: |
| ::Best Lines:: |
| Apex |
|
|
| The Plot |
|
|
| Kiss your friend! |
| That was the only line that was halfway funny in this movie because it was some dumbass thinking he was a terrorist telling this girl to kiss her friend which was a girl also. The creators of this movie just wanted to add as much of that as possible seeing as they are asked to do it another time in the movie. |
| Okay now lets start this off on the right foot. This was a really bad movie. You seriousy should avoid this movie at all costs. Unless you like seeing a bunch of hippie snow boarders that are put in totally unrealistic situations. I mean they are just trying to make a snow boarding movie action packed. It just isnt happening. Not only are the situations unrealistic but so are the characters. I mean come on, they could not act for shit. This movie was giving me flashbacks from Alien Arsenal, and thats top on the shit scale. Even though this movie wasnt as bad it was close and thats saying something. Okay well if you want a plot here it is, and brace yourselves for laughter. Well the main characters, the snowboarders, are on a trip to the top of a mountain to get some good shots of them snowboarding. They use these Rocket propelled explosive devices to create avalanches for the snowboarders to out run. Well when they show the avalanche up front its huge but when they zoom away the avalanche is so small. If you detonated an explosive on the side of a mountain covered with snow the damn avalanche would be enormous. Not to mention where in the hell did they get these rocket propelled explosives anyway. I mean god they sell them at all your snowboarding outlets. Well when they get back they are all relaxing and they actually make a spa in the snow using heat rocks. For one thing the snow would just all melt away and two where did they get these heat rocks. Anyway they see this woman that they think is majorly hot, even though I beg to differ, walking with her supposed father. But with thier video camera they get some shots of them kissing in their room. And here is one of my favorite parts. A few Doberman Pincers come running after them. HAHA are the bloody directors mad! Lets recap shall we. They are at a very high point on a mountain and its full of snow. Last time I checked a Doberman has short hair. Those freaking dogs would be frozen in about two days. Not to mention they were chasing the main characters around like it was 70 degrees out. I mean come on we have a short haired dog and the thing is shivering after 30 minutes of extreme cold temps. Anyway they get away by trying to do fancy maneuvering but it just makes them look even more stupid. Well the rest of the plot deals with the bad guy and his daughter, I mean wife, trying to get the footage of them kissing from the idiots, I mean snowboarders.........Yeah I dont know what I missed but the bad guys are going to kill the snowboarders because they have the footage of Zaron the main terrorist kissing his wife Pavle. Now I must have missed something because the whole time I was thinking, man they are gonna be in so much trouble, THEY WERE KISSING!! I mean thats a sin where I come from. Please someone if anyone knows tell me why they need that footage back, Im a roast, baste me. I mean that is possibly one of the worst plots ever. Even if someone stumbles upon a reason for the terrorists plight the action makes up for the stupidity...............with even more stupidity. Here it is enjoy. |
| If You Call This Action |
|
|
| Alright, this is where the fun begins. Now at this time I was sitting in the theatre hoping to God John Woo took over the action in the movie but my prayers werent answered. Not in the slightest. The action in this movie would leave any weapon buff appalled. Well the snowboarders take the footage and are riding in a trolly trying to get down the mountain. Well the dumbasses forgot that the switch for the trolly could be overridden by a switch where the terrorist were. Um how long have they been doing this? Anyway, they start jumping out of the trolly onto the moutain side. This is the best part. The main bad guy Zaron, the one who was kissing his wife, takes an uzi and starts firing at them. They are over Two Hundred Yards AWAY. You wont hit the broad side of a barn with an uzi at that distance. But still the bullets where just hitting at thier feet, Yeah Right! Anyway they all bail out of the trolly and onto the mountain top. All of the snowboarders try making their way down the mountain side when Zaron comes around the corner inside a helicopter. This time his weapon of choice was a pump shotgun. Now just wait one darn minute, Not only did he think that an uzi would be good at a great distance but a shotgun with buck shot? I mean please even if he was on target all they would feel is pebbles landing on them. This was retarded. And yes the bullets where just hitting at thier feet as they snowboarded down the hill. One of the girls took the rocket propelled explosive device and let one fly right at the helicopter. Yeah she missed. And a really funny thing one of the guys and the woman Pavle stayed in the trolly and the rocket almost hit them. The girl said move to the side, like they could actually dodged the rocket if it were to hit them. While fending off the gunner in the helicopter one of the snowboarders gets shot. Another one of the snowboarders falls and the rope is pulling everyone off the cliff. So he pulls out a knife and cuts himself free. Now at this point I was like hell yeah but he pulled out a parachute and shot down my celebration. Well he floats down to the bottom of the mountain never to be seen again till near the end of the movie. Well Zarons pilot is telling him that they have to go back because they are low on fuel so he agrees to go back. While he is gone the freaking idiot that got shot lasts through the night at the near top of the mountain with a bullet hole in his lung. Lets face it this guy would have been toast. Well the movie is coming to an end and to tell you I forgot how the main bad guy Zaron died. It was seriously so bad I forgot how he bit it. All I remember was that the helicopter he was in crashed into the side of the mountain. This movie was nothing more than a pile of dog shit. I seriously think that this movie was one of the worst movies that has come out recently. I lay this one to rest in my list of bad movies as the second worst movie I have ever seen. Lets hope to god that I wont find one worse because these movies just become more and more painfull to watch. Thank you and good night. |
| THE END |