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Alien Arsenal

Best Lines:

:Other B movies:

Apex

Bad Taste

Blood Diner

Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town

Without Wanring

Director: Who Cares.........

Cast

The new kids got guns too....

Didnt bother to look

Plot

Okay, scratch every bad movie you've ever seen, and call them masterpieces. Because compared to this movie they are. This is not going to be a review, this is going to be a huge hammer to this movie. I mean seriously this movie is painful to watch. Every scene has the amazing ability to make you want to punch all the actors out. Just listen to this.....Okay this movie is based upon two highschool students who must have a brain the size of a cashew. I would say the same about the director IF I TOOK THE TIME TO SEE WHO IT WAS. They seem like they would be the nerds of the school. Seeing as no one but the bullies of the show ever talk to them in the school. Oh if you count when they save a few people. But I'll get to that later. They go to some decent school, but inside are a bunch of fools for teachers. I mean they are totally oblivious that there is an alien arsenal INSIDE THE BASEMENT OF THE SCHOOL. It's behind a wall and everything but tell me they built the school around it, or wait maybe the aliens just walked into the school under all the teachers noses and put it in there. YEAH ITS THAT STUPID. And not only are the teachers stupid, but WHY IN THE HELL WOULD AN ADVANCED GROUP OF ALIENS PLACE AN ALIEN ARSENAL IN A HIGHSCHOOL. WHY WHY WHY!!!? If you really want to know the plot for this movie, okay here it is. Two comic crazed idiots think they can play god and make the world better with this stash of cheaply painted super soakers. They go around the school and take the bullies out. AND I SERIOUSLY MEAN TAKE THEM OUT. THEY SHOOT THEM AND THEY GET SENT TO GOD KNOWS WERE. NOW IF THIS MOVIE WAS MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY, I BELIEVE THAT IS MURDER. But the whole time they dont care, no. They just laugh and say how cool it is, well what about thier friends and family. Wouldn't they be curious when they didnt show up anywhere. If the parents are half as smart as the rest of the wonderful cast they would be on hospital beds and fed through a tube.Okay enough of the plot lets get into the awesome action of the movie.

The Pain Begins

Well I think you can make it out yourself that I was being sarcastic. I mean the action in this movie is more like slow dancing. So you can disect every move to the T. And all the while the wonderful cast talk like they are reading straight from a cue card. AND YOU WONT BELIEVE HOW TRUE THAT IS UNTIL YOU EVER SEE IT. AND PLEASE ONLY WATCH IT IF A RUSSIAN MOB HAS A RIFLE TO YOUR HEAD. Me and my cousin Kirk tried to watch it and we couldnt even make it through the whole thing. Sadly it would have been my second dose of hell. Yes I have watched it once all the way through, but I happened to catch it on a movie channel at like 3 in the morning so I wasnt much paying attention. Anyway, lets get this over quickly. Yes we got to the teenagers finding the arsenal, blah blah blah, they try them out and use more cheesy lines straight off the cue cards. Then the second time they open the door to the arsenal it triggers an alarm. So some Billy Idol dressed Aliens in human form come to earth. Well they try to fit in, when all they do is stick out like a signal flare in your toilet. Yeah that made no sense but neither does this movie. Anyway they actually sit in class to until they can find the kids who stole the weapons. Well if I was an alien and some of my weapons were taken by some highschool students on a planet far far away, I would walk in the school guns blazing and take them all out. That would insure they get what they want. But no they actually try to fit in and go to class,. What in the hell are they afraid of, the cops. YEAH THEY CANT STOP HUMAN CRIMINALS YET FIGHT OFF ALIENS WITH PHAZER GUNS THAT ZAP YOU INTO LIMBO. Not to mention when they shoot them it makes this cheezy worm hole effect. Well at first I was wonderinmg why they are doing that, why would they stay there. Well it turns out that they didnt know where the arsenal was in the school.............................Uh didnt they put it there. GOD I REALLY HATED THIS MOVIE. Well I am getting to the end because remebering this movie makes me mad. Well basically the guy teenager in the movie starts going on a power trip and he changes his whole ego into a more retarded looking person. DAMNIT ITS OVER....THIS MOVE WAS SOOO BAD IT HURTS....DONT EVER RENT IT EVER EVER. IT JUST LEADS TO HATE, AND TO SUPRESS THIS HATE TAKES AT LEAST 9 BEERS. I AM THROUGH WITH THIS MOVIE, THIS MOVIE DISERVES THREE SKULLS.........................PEACE.

And that was only funny because it was soo appalling I had to laugh.

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