Message #1

Inter-Dimensional Travel Portals: An Answer to Our Dreams

Ever since we first put a man on the moon, the human race has been fascinated with the prospect of exploring outer space. The science fiction genre is extremely popular with children that dream to one day pilot spaceships, encounter other extraterrestrials, and visit new worlds. Up until now it has all been a dream, but today the dreams of our children have become reality with the proposal by Otherworld Tours Inc. to build the first ever inter-dimensional travel portal on the Virginia Beach , Virginia campus of Tidewater Community College . This travel portal would theoretically bridge the planet Earth to the planet Mars at the Martians' Vastitas Borealis station. This bridge would allow humans and Martians alike to travel instantly between both planets. By bridging our cultures together, both species would gain wondrous amounts of information. This portal is but the first step in a proposed solar system-wide network of interconnecting portals. A message translated by NASA from Chairman Zog of Otherworld Tours Inc. states that the Venusians, Plutons, and Mercurians have all informally agreed to establish their own portals and interconnect them to both Mars and Earth. With more and more worlds connecting to the network, the possibilities are endless. Just think; we could find a cure to some of our diseases growing in the backyard of some Martians' home or put an end to our energy crisis with the help of a Mercurian year-one science student. By allowing this proposal to build an inter-dimensional travel portal to succeed, we are, in effect, making all of humanity's dreams become reality.

Message #2

1-888-TCC-WZRD”: The Death of Student Ethics

While you provide a positive outlook for a “Wizard for Hire” business to open on the campus of Tidewater Community College, I must stress upon you and others who back this recommendation the timeless adage,” Where there is good, evil is close by”. By opening a “Wizard for Hire” business on TCC would invite leagues of Warlocks to create chaos on our fair campus. Need I remind you of the current events unfolding across the water in the United Kingdom with their battle against “He Who Must Not Be Named”? Just think of the ramifications if we were to institute this “1-888-TCC-WZRD” hotline. Students would be calling the hotline asking for Warlocks to hex their professors into altering their grades in order to pass their course. The mayhem would not stop there. Say a Student oversleeps after a night of partying; all he or she would have to do is call this “1-888-TCC-WZRD” hotline up and ask for a Warlock to turn back the clocks for them to make it to class on time. What would prevent a student from calling for aid in conjuring up transcripts for them to transfer to an elite school like Yale or Harvard in the span of a day? What happened to old-fashioned hard work and study to achieve your educational dreams? What happened to Student Ethics? As I sit here typing this, I shiver in fear of the thought of TCC allowing a “Wizard for Hire” business to open on their campus. We are setting ourselves up for destruction in allowing our world to be encroached upon by the realms of Magic. I urge all of you if you value hard work and determination, do not allow this travesty to unfold.