An Unexpected Opportunity

From the day we are born, we begin our inevitable path through life until the day we die. On average most people live well into their elder years. However, due to circumstances beyond our control, people have been known to die well before their prime. Out of these incidents, unexpected opportunities sometimes occur, such as donor recipients receiving much needed transplant organs or, as in my case, possibly reuniting with a lost family member.

On a quiet Sunday morning not too long ago, I received a telephone call from my mother. “Jason, are you sitting down?” she quietly asked. I replied no and she asked me calmly to sit down. Once I complied with her request, she informed me that Karen White, my former stepmother and mother to my half-sister Kelly, had passed away due to a sudden heart attack. My mother expressed her surprise in discovering Karen's obituary in the paper that morning. I sat there unable to respond. I found it shocking that someone I knew had passed away. The last time I had seen Karen was over eight years ago. It had been even longer since I had seen Kelly. After the initial shock of hearing the news subsided, my mother surprised me with the fact that the obituary stated that Kelly was now married and a mother of two children, living in Dallas , Texas . Through the years, we had heard rumors that she may be residing in Texas , but we did not have any concrete information on her whereabouts or well-being.

After my telephone call with my mother, I felt it was my duty to notify my grandmother and inform her of this shocking news. For years, she also has wondered about Kelly's whereabouts and well-being. When my grandmother answered the phone, I informed her of the news of Karen's passing and the revelation of what had become of Kelly. Strengthen by her faith; my grandmother mentioned that when we are called upon by our Lord, it is time for us to serve him. She also added that we should live life to the fullest each day, for we never know whether it will be our last day on this Earth. She expressed her sadness for Mark, Karen's husband, Kelly, and the rest of Karen's family.

Following my conversation with my grandmother, I prepared myself for my next call. I sat there and debated whether or not to make this call. I was unsure what type of response I would receive. The call I was about to make was to my father. On account of a messy divorce between him and Karen, he was compelled to give up custody of Kelly, which led to Mark adopting her as his own daughter. At the time, I did not understand this decision and felt that my father was abandoning Kelly. Since then, I have come to understand his reasoning behind the difficult decision he had to make for Kelly's welfare. I can not help to wonder if the reason I never saw Kelly again was the result of his decision to give up custody of her and the fact that he was still in contact with me. Through the years after the adoption, my father and I never talked about Kelly. I finally decided to call my father to inform him of the news. As the phone rang, I still debated whether or not this was a good idea. When the voice mail answered, I was somewhat relieved. I recorded my message nervously and ended it by mentioning I was here for him if he felt like talking. Thirty minutes had gone by when I received a call back from my father. He was clearly shocked and sounded dismayed that Karen had passed away. He said that even though their marriage had ended with a terrible divorce, there was a time that he had loved her. He asked me questions, such as whether or not Karen was still married to Mark. I informed him that the obituary stated they had been living in Helena , Montana , where they operated their own construction company. He never once asked about Kelly. I mentioned that she was married, and a mother of two children residing in Dallas , Texas . Abruptly, he said he needed to go and absorb all this information. A week had passed, when I received a call from him and we resumed our conversation about Karen, Kelly, and how the news affected him. He revealed that he not only felt sad for Kelly losing her mother, but also for her two children that would grow up with out their grandmother. I spoke of my plans of getting an address to send my condolences. I was surprised to learn that he called the funeral home that was handling Karen's arrangements and was given the address of the White household. He informed me that he would send it to me by way of email and asked that I pass it along to my grandmother. He confessed he thought about using the address, but in hindsight, felt it was not a good idea to stir up any bad memories during this time of sorrow.

From the time that I heard the news of Karen's passing, I find myself thinking about the past with her as a stepmother, Kelly as a sister, and the possibility of reestablishing a relationship with her. What I remember most about Karen is a time when I was a young boy. I had developed a severe skin rash on the fourth of July. She gave me an oatmeal bath right in the kitchen sink. After the bath and snuggled in a warm towel, we sat on the porch of the apartment complex that she and my father were living at, and watched as he and the neighbors lit fireworks in the street. My memories of Kelly, though, are a bit cloudy, almost dream like. The last time I remember seeing Kelly, I was getting my haircut by Karen in her hair salon. Additional memories that I have of her are when our father would pick us up to visit with him over the weekend. On Sundays we would go to the church he was attending at the time. If it was during the summer months he would take us to the beach after church before having to take us back to our homes.

Since mailing my condolences to the White household, I have had a number of dreams about reuniting with my Kelly. In my dreams, she is still the little girl with long brown hair that I remember, although in reality she is now a grown woman around the age of 24. I am a bit nervous about what will happen as a result of this unexpected opportunity. I have questioned myself whether or not I should take advantage of this unexpected opportunity. I am fearful of what, if any, response I may receive from her. Will she be receptive to the idea of reestablishing contact with her older brother and the rest of the family? Or will my attempt be ignored for the fact that she has had a new life and family since the adoption all those years ago. Regardless of the outcome of this unexpected opportunity, I know in my heart that my thoughts and prayers are with her, Mark, and the rest of Karen's family as they cope with the loss of their loved one.