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I am a doctor working as teacher and consultant in a Physio
Therapy college .I would like to share briefly my experience
during the retreat at Belgaum under the guidance of Fr.
VijayAnand, and the impact it had on my life.
I was diagnosed as having a very mild cervical
spondylosis a few months ago when suffered from pain in
the neck and shoulders. During the month of April and May
I developed spasms of the neck muscles on the left side.
These spasms made me very scared. It was triggered off on
two separate occasions. The first was when I purchased some
mushrooms on the roadside and cooked and ate it along with
my family. I suddenly panicked that it might have been poisonous.
The second was when I had to take an Inj. TT when I poked
myself I panicked whether I had withdrawn the barrel to
make sure that it was in the muscle. Which otherwise could
enter the blood stream.
Following these two instances the spasms
became very frequent and due to fear and stress the neck
muscle and shoulders were stiff. And I found it difficult
to do my usual daily work. Together with this I became restless,
had burning sensations over both the upper and lower limbs
and palpitation .I consulted a very good Neurosurgeon. After
a thorough examination and tests like MRI, stress test and
thyroid functions test. All the reports were normal and
he clearly told me that I did not have cervical spondylosis.
He asked me to go elsewhere for a relaxation,
and prescribed medicines temporarily.
It
was then that I realized that I had to be relieved of stress,
which had mounted up especially in the last few years after
my only brother died suddenly and I had to assume the responsibility
of my family. Although I did well externally I had not got
reconciled to the fact that my brother was no more this
was a great suffering. I knew
that I would be relieved if I could accept my brother's
death together with other fears and worries. I was praying
for light when my friend visited me and recommend Fr.
Vijayanand. That was how I reached Belgaum.
Since
the retreat had already begun and I had just about 17 days,
the working out sessions began on the same night.
It is a tough process and at times very painful. But the
relief is great. As I started working out on all the important
experiences like sorrow, fear, guilt and hate.I
could see the extent of impact this has had on my subconscious
and hence on me. I managed to work out on most of the major
issues by the time I returned home.
Thanks
to Fr. Vijay for his gentleness and firmness, which helped
me through, this entire process. To make out one incident
- this was connected with my neck pain when I cut a few
branches of the coconut tree with a sorrowful thought that
my brother was no more to do such jobs for us. I was made
to work on it for about 4 hours after which my neck and
shoulders were totally relaxed and remain so till now.
It is more than a year after the retreat,
I still work out on the negativities as it comes up. Most
of the major ones are gone only the minor ones are left.
With this I have a much better quality of life.
And I have a true insight of what I really am and why I
behave in the way I behave.
Many of my other aches and pains have disappeared like the
occasional migraine, some throat troubles and colds, dysmenorrhoea,
vertigo etc, with the help of Fr. Vijayanand I have been
able to cure myself of all these illnesses.
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