The reason I'm really writing to you is because you mentioned on your website that you are an ambitious person and that you feel life is passing you by. I am exactly the same and I think this is what contributed to my depression for so many years (thankfully I am not depressed any longer). What made things really hard for me is that I had always dreamed of living and working with poor communities in Africa - hardly an ideal career for someone who couldn't stay awake, never mind do anything useful. However I discovered something in the summer of 1998 that has changed my life forever. I started going to Church because I friend had invited me and was initially very cynical. However, to my surprise I discovered a loving community in the Church, and more importantly, a loving God. The years since then have certainly not been easy, but I have found immense comfort in knowing that I am loved and cared for whether I am ill or well, and also, that God has a plan for me, that he is bigger than my illness, and that he can use me whatever my disabilities may be. The Bible says that God gives us the desires of our hearts, and much praying (and tears and frustrations and doubts) later, I am writing this email to you from Namibia, where I have been working as a secondary school teacher in one of the poorest rural areas in Africa. I'm not taking anything away from my specialist who has been fantastic and I wouldn't be here without him, but being a Christian has given me a completely new perspective on everything. I have been involved in youth work for five years and have found that suffering with ME has given me a much greater empathy with the problems and frustrations that many of my teenagers face. Also it has toughened me up to a certain extent - necessary for the kind of life I'm leading now. I doesn't make it all worth it but at least the cloud has a silver lining. I don't know what you will make of all this but I wish someone had told me sooner. One of the best things is that when I am ill my whole Church will pray for me, and prayer does work, if not always in the way we expect!
Love
Philippa
I don't have MCS or FMS. My primary symptom is debilitating fatigue. I can stand up for about a minute, so I use a cane that converts to a chair. A little exercise can put me in bed for days. My shoulders/ neck hurt most of the time, but that's my only pain. I'm very noise sensitive - use earplugs in stores but avoid stores as much as possible. Taking in information audibly is very difficult; my brain
shuts down - and shuts my body down - when I'm around groups of people. So I don't go there. I do best with solitude & silence. But email works great!
A naturopath I found last Spring discovered and addressed various problems, each of which improved my energy and function (no stomach acid, multiple food allergies, parasites in the stomach lining,
almost no adrenal function, no workable thyroid function, screwy sleep schedule, etc). The real surprise was finding extreme mercury poisoning. Which likely caused this whole mess. I don't eat fish or thermometers; my source was my dental fillings. I had all my fillings and crowns replaced in February - in 1 day under I.V. sedation. My brain fog had cleared by the time I got out of the
chair, and has not returned. The next day the dentist cleaned out four cavitations. (They're real common - rot in the jaw where my wisdom teeth used to be. Great for the immune system.)
I'm focused now on getting the rest of the mercury out of my body. I've heard it will take 1-2 years to do that safely. My body varies day by day how much it can tolerate of which gentle ways of
chelation. (There are faster, less gentle ways. I had a very bad experience with one so I'm willing to be slow now.) My teeth still hurt when I chew - still healing.
There is no question this is the turning point. My brain is much better than before this was done, though mental function varies depending on my body energy. I'm already able to *do* about twice as
much as before. Even tolerate noise better. But there's no 'cushion' yet. I'm coming out of a relapse that got triggered 3 weeks ago by over-doing and stress.
Take care
Lynn