The Future
I don�t as a rule like to think too much about the future and what it holds for me. When I think of the future I feel afraid, my biggest fear is to get better and discover that everything that I�ve dreamed of through these difficult illness years has been exactly that, a dream. I worry that I won�t ever achieve anything and that my family and friends will never be proud of me. I hope everyday that the illness hasn�t robbed me of the life I was meant to have, but somehow never got. The bottom line though is this, I don�t know what the future holds for me, I have no magic crystal ball, but I�ve got one shot at this life and if I give in to my negative thinking then I�m beaten already, and the future that I see on a black day will become my reality. So I'm going to take a deep breath, dig deep, and I'm going to fight for my future and what I deserve,I will not rest until my mission is over, and my goals have been reached. So watch this space.

I started college In September, I'm doing a one year course In Performing Arts, this is all I've ever wanted to do ever since I was a kid, so It great for me that I'm finally managing to study not only a course that I love, but also starting to rebuild my life. It's strange being back at college with teenagers and at the start wondered If they would accept me, with me being so much older than them, but so far so good. I still get so very tired especially since It's a very physical course, but for the first time In years I can look in the mirror, and I don't feel ashamed of the face that is staring back at me, I'd forgotten what It felt like to be happy, and It the moment life is really good for me. Long may it continue!!!!!!!!!
Well my one year course has now finished and I'm pleased to say that I've passed my course with a distinction. YAY!!!!!! It times It's been a long hard slog, and I've wondered whether It was proving all too much, but I'm so glad that I choose to stick at It, and I feel like all my hard work as paid off.
So whats next for me....... well I have been offered a place on the next course up from the one I've just finished, still in performing arts, which without too much thought needed I have accepted, I know this course will be harder, both mentally and phycially, but this is what I want, so I'm going to grab this opportunity with both hands and see where it gets me.
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