|
| RWW | NSW | NEW | EWA | NEWEST | LOST | COMMENTARIES | QUOTES |
rww:
TO TURN A PHRASE...
(The scene opens up in The Boy's hotel room in Wheeling. There is a knock at the door and then RWW reporter Michael Cole enters. He sits down beside Hellings who is reading some sort of magazine and jotting something down.)
COLE-
"Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"
HELLINGS-
"Just a second, Mick. I've just got to finish something up here."
COLE-
"What is that you are doing anyway?"
HELLINGS-
"Well, it's a personal ad. You see, with Tommy and Damon leaving me and Stu retiring, I am on my own. Basically put, I need some sort of companionship. I figured maybe I could place a personal ad and I might be able to find someone."
COLE-
"You can't be serious."
HELLINGS-
"Of course I am! Everyone I have ever sided with has turned their back on me! Rob Gamble did it to once before, but we have since patched things up. Bombtrack and I used to be good friends, but even he betrayed me. And we have Jay Zee, Tommy Dee and Damon Gest stabbing me in the back."
(He sighs and looks off into the distance)
HELLINGS-
"Et tu, Tommy?"
(The Boy shakes his head, as if trying to regain his train of thought)
HELLINGS-
"Anyway, on Fire, Jayson Gray, a man I had an unspoke trust with decided
he didn't want to be my friend either! Well I have had it! I can't make decent friends here in RWW, so maybe I should look elsewhere."
COLE-
"Do you think it will really work?"
HELLINGS-
"What's the worst that could happen? Someone ingrate ditches me...again!? Anyway, maybe you can help me. Being as perfect as I am, it makes it hard for me to list just three things under my greatest qualities. What would you say are my most redeeming qualities Cole?"
COLE-
"To tell you the truth, I don't think you have any."
HELLINGS-(Visibly angered)
"You think you can come in here and insult me? What the HELLings did you want in the first place?"
COLE-
"Just wanted your thoughts on your match against Matt Mathers on Fire and anything else that may be occuring here in RWW."
HELLINGS-
"How about I start with Pantera? You know she's the captain of a sinking ship when she suddenly declares she is willing to take any and all help she can get. You see, Rob Gamble is the type of guy you just can't get rid of. I should know! Rob is here to stay and there is nothing that Pantera or anyone else she can get to help her out can do about it! And you know something? Pantera should just learn to keep her mouth shut! After all, don't bite the hand that feeds you! Rob is still her employer and declaring war against him probably isn't the best idea. Whatever happened to employee loyalty, Mick?"
COLE-
"Well, I think that Pantera just realises that Rob Gamble is corrupt and only wants what is in his own best interest. I suppose she thinks that someone should stop that and that someone, she believes, is her."
HELLINGS-
"She had better remember then that those who live by the sword, die by the sword! In other words, if you think the only way to get rid of Gamble is to lead an assalut on him, you will never get anywhere! And what ticks me off more than anything is that a war on Rob Gamble is a war against me! But all of that doesn't really matter. She has yet to do anything of any real consequence and I personally don't see anything happening in the future! Because, it's just like they say, everyone complains about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it! Actions speak louder than words and, so far, it's been nothing but talk."
COLE-
"Actions speak louder than words? Don't bite the hand that feeds you? Everyone complains about the weather? Why are you using all these out-dated sayings and expressions all of a sudden?"
HELLINGS-
"I'm not sure, actually. But they seem to work. Anyway, Pantera should have know better. She should live by the philosophy of Teddy Roosevelt: speak softly and carry a big stick. In other words, don't draw too much attention to yourself, but be ready to fight. Well, all she seems to want to do is fight, but the ironic thing is she ain't even doing that!"
COLE-
"Well, maybe yourself and Mr. Gamble had better realise that Hell hath no furry like a woman scorned."
HELLINGS-
"What are you doing?"
COLE-
"I thought it would be fun if I made counter arguments with you using old expressions."
HELLINGS-
"I'm not here for your amusement, Mick!"
COLE-
"Sorry. Anyway, I understand what you are saying. But nothing can be accomplished if no action is taken! I admit, going against Rob Gamble is not a good idea, but surely you must see that there is a method to her madness."
HELLINGS-
"Stop with the expressions! I SO started that first! Copycat. Now look, that may be true and I certainly don't doubt that she has formed some pathetic plan in that little head of hers, but remember that the nail that sticks up is the one that gets pounded down!"
COLE-
"Or, inversely, the squeaking wheel gets the grease."
Hellings-
"Okay, you know what? How about this one, silence is golden?! So shut the heck up over there and let me continue this interview! The people would rather hear from me, their Intercontinental Champion, than you Cole! So zip it! Now then, Pantera seems to think she can rely on my old (making quotation marks with his fingers) 'buddy' MC Tommy Dee for help. HA! If I were Pantera, I would keep in mind one thing - if it looks like a traitor, walks like a traitor and talks like a traitor, it's a frikkin' traitor! And Tommy is definitely a traitor Cole! He turned his back on me and Stupac! If you ask me, Pantera can't trust him as far as she can throw him!"
COLE-
"But..."
HELLINGS-
"I thought I told you to be quiet!"
COLE-
"I was just going to say that Tommy has vowed to help out Pantera and, like they say, a man's word is as good as his bond!"
HELLINGS-
"Yeah? Well, at the end of the day you will find that after all is said and done, usually more is said than done! If Tommy doesn't stab her in the back like he did to me, he most certainly will not lend a hand in her little war on Gamble! Tommy Dee is good in only two ways, Cole. Good for nothing and no good!"
COLE-
"That doesn't make much sense at all."
HELLINGS-
"Neither does the fact that you keep talking when I told you to shut up! As I was saying, Tommy Dee is not exactly a good guy. Tommy Dee is a cheater and always will be. Once a cheater, always a cheater!"
COLE-
"Well, I would argue he has turned over a new leaf."
HELLINGS-
"You know what? This is my TV time you are wasting here Cole!"
COLE-
"Can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen."
HELLINGS-
"What is that supposed to mean?"
COLE-
"Nothing. It just seems to me I'm beating you in this little war of words."
HELLINGS-
"You wish. Like I was saying...Tommy is as crooked as a dog's hind leg! So, I am letting everyone in Rampage World Wrestling know that they had better watch their backs. You may think that Tommy Dee is a nice, easy-going guy. But just wait until he he shows his true colours!"
COLE-
"Okay, fine. But let me ask you, how do you feel that Kirk Slater will be returning at Blaze of Glory?"
HELLINGS-
"You know something? Jay Zee came back, Bombtrack came back and now Kirk Slater comes back. I am sick and tired of these old, washed-up jerks trying to get one last hurrah for their deflated egos and, more importantly, stealing my spotlight! I am the guy that everyone comes to see! I am the RWW dammit! I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it!"
COLE-
"Do you honestly think people pay to see you and not someone like a Bombtrack or, say, a Donte Rocker?"
HELLINGS-
"Of course! The point is, any guy who has tried to make a comeback has found out that he is way past his prime! Bombtrack keeps losing, Jay is on a losing streak, and Big Daddy Bruce attempted 37 comebacks and wasn't successful in any of them...so what makes Slater or Rocker think they can come back?"
COLE-
"They are still amazingly talented performers who could probably give you a run for your money. If you ask me, insulting them like this just makes them want to come back more. I think you should let sleeping dogs lie, Scott."
HELLINGS-
"Where do you get off calling me by my first name?"
(Cole shrugs his shoulders)
HELLINGS-
"Anyway, all those guys should just kick back and relax and enjoy their retirement. Instead, they would rather come in here, bore all my fans and take up more of my valuable TV time! I won't have it! These guys should stay in their little RWW retirement home. I can see it now Cole: Big Daddy Bruce.."
(He points to the corner, as if BDB was actually there)
HELLINGS-
"He's over there sipping on some prune juice as he plans yet another failed comeback. And Legend Inc. is over there..."
(The Boy points to another corner)
HELLINGS-
"He's telling long,drawn-out stories that no one cares about as Bombtrack just looks at him blankly like the idiot that he is and replies with that
annoying (in a bad impression of Bombtrack) 'WHAT??' Then you got Donte Rocker and Jay Zee sitting around a table over here..."
(The Boy turns around and motions as if the table was right in front of him)
HELLINGS-
"They're playing cards. Both of them are reminiscing about their only good match ever-at April Sun 2001! And you can even see Spyder still losing after all these years. Look!"
(The Boy points to something in the distance, unseen)
HELLINGS-
"There is Spyder now, giving up a pinfall to that old nurse! And there's Kirk Slater over in the corner."
(He points to the third corner of the room)
HELLINGS-
"He's crying like a little baby because no one remotely cares about him anymore. Off in one of the rooms Homicidal Terrahawk is having a nap because he finally just got to see footage of him and his brother Mercy together as a tag team and it bored him so much he passed out! And then, just as you can't take any more of these no-talent bums, my good buddy Stupac comes in..."
(The Boy points to the door)
HELLINGS-
"...and makes them all face their fears! You see? That's the way things should be around here! But this world and everything in it, except for me of course, is not perfect Cole! So instead we got guys like Slater and Jay and Bombtrack running around, just to tick me off! Well, I won't have it! As soon as Slater gets here and tries to take out my good friend Rob Gamble, I'm gonna hit him the Chokeslam to HELLings, the most devastating move in wrestling today, and make SURE he never comes back here again!"
COLE-
"I can't believe you are so delusional. I mean, everyone knows that some people just get better with age!"
HELLINGS-
"I don't want to have to warn you about that again!"
COLE-
"Anyway, I originally wanted to talk to you about Matt Mathers, who you face on Fire for the Intercontinental Championship. Are you ready?"
HELLINGS-
"Am I ready? For Matt Mathers? I have beaten Matt Mathers so many times it isn't even funny! And I know Matt probably thinks he can beat me..."
COLE-(nods in agreement and cuts of The Boy)
"It is true that hope springs eternal."
HELLINGS-
"NEVER cut me off again! And I told you to keep your mouth shut! Anyway, I hate to be the one that has to take the wind out of Matt's sails, but I am the greatest IC Champ of all time! I am undefeated! If he thinks he can beat me, it's time for him to put his money where his mouth is!"
COLE-
"Well I don't think you can rest on your laurels in this match. Matt is a formidable opponent."
HELLINGS-
"He is? You could have fooled me! Listen Cole, Mathers shouldn't lie to himself. Because lying is just like getting pregnant; no matter how much you try to hide it, eventually everyone is gonna know. And everybody already knows that Matt Mathers cannot beat me. And you know why?"
COLE-
"Actually no."
HELLINGS-
"Because there is one other important expression around here. And that is I am The Boy and that means I am The Best! And if Matt, or anyone else here in RWW thinks otherwise, I allow them to step up to the plate and prove it! Now get outta here Cole!"
COLE-
"Alright. So I suppose this means you are admiting defeat in our little game here this afternoon?"
HELLINGS-
"What? You never beat me! No one ever beats me in anything!"
COLE-
"I understand. You don't want to admit your loss. After all, ignorance is bliss."
HELLINGS-
"Okay, you know what? Stop it!"
COLE-
"I know you think that it ain't over until the fat lady sings. Well I don't know about you, but I think I can hear here now."
(Cole puts a hand up to his ear as if to hear for a fat woman singing)
HELLINGS-
"Yeah? Oh yeah, I hear it too? No, wait...you know what that is? Yeah, that's the sound of The Boy not giving a damn! Get outta my hotel room Cole!"
COLE-
"Alright, I'm outta here. You can deny the fact that you lost now, but one day it will all come out in the wash."
HELLINGS-
"That's it! Leave! Now! And don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
(Michael Cole leaves, a huge grin on his face. The Boy, visibily angered that Cole beat him, smashes his fist through the glass coffee table in front of him. He then picks up the pad of paper that he was writing on when Cole came in.)
HELLINGS-(Talking to himself)
"Best qualities: good temperment, mature and the greatest IC Champ of all time! Man, I'm gonna have to get a new phone line just
for all the calls I get once I send this in! This is too easy!"
(The Boy chuckles to himself and turns on the TV. Fade to black.)
  
BACK TO TOP
|
