roleplays THE LOST ROLEPLAYS


PSI vs. N*Sync: The Lost Promo

PSI's car breaks down outside MuchMusic (the Canadian equivalent of MTV), where VJ Rick is about to do an interview with the boy band N*Sync. It's a little dated now, but the important thing to remember is that I'm pretty sure I was on crack when I wrote it. A battle ensues and Justin Timberlake is injured.

Original (Non)Post Date: August 29, 2001

Stupac's Rock 'N' Wrestling Connection

Before you read, you might want a bit of an explanation: this is based on the short-lived "Hulk Hogan's Rock 'N' Wrestling" cartoon show from the 1980s. All the characters are based on characters from that show, or at least how the show would portray them as characters. Basically, they said "Andre the Giant" is big, so let's make it funny because he's big" and "Lou Albano is fat. He must like to eat. It's funny because he eats. Let's make him eat a lot. It will be funny." Hence, why X-Con is a bad version of the Hamburglar. Loads of cartoon references abound here. The roleplays also insults the "jumpy" nature of Hogan's show, which often made events seem rather succint. There's also a reference to one episode where it depicts all the wrestlers living together, which made no sense to me whatsoever. One episode featured Amazon women that looked like the wrestlers, hence the reference to the aliens looking vaguely familiar. Like Hogan, Stupac wears his title everywhere and is the only one who is allowed to look remotely effective. And Big Daddy Bruce is made to look extremely evil (burning books), just as Roddy Piper sounded like the voice of Satan himself on the real show. And the idea they go into space is a direct ripoff of one of the Hogan episodes too. Any other references are made to be as bad or as obvious as possible, as that seems to be the way it was written. This wasn't posted because it was just too damn long (and probably a little out there), but I spent too much time on it NOT to put it here somewhere. Anyway, just...read it. Or not.

Original (Non)Post Date: October 2, 2002

An Introduction

The Boy introduces himself to the roster of WPW (a fed I was in off-and-on for a few short months). I chose this one because it really shows the evolution of the character.

The Boy's Christmas Special

The Boy creates his own Christmas Special. This is meant to be the most steretypical Christmas Special ever, except that no one wants to be there and The Boy is, as always, a jerk to everyone else. Britney Spears, Matt LeBlanc, Matt Damon, Yao Ming, and John Mayer guest star.

Respect Copyrights

The Boy makes fun of those anti-pirating ads that used to be shown before films, to make a point about how unoriginal and boring wrestling has become without him and, thus, why he has returned. This roleplay is taken from my (very) brief stint in CFWF, which was kind of related to both RWW and NEW for a time.

Original Post Date: February 16, 2004

Single White Male

The Boy films a faux dating video to let his opponent, Cassanrda Bergeron, know how he feels about her, while also plugging his new book. Taken from The Boy's brief stint in TWC.

Original Post Date: May 28, 2004

Career Admiral

Introductory roleplay to IWC. The Boy explains who he is and why he has shown up in IWC. He also has some choice words for his opponent, Ryan Cooper and his father, Mr. Cooper. Because IWC fell apart before it was even capable of producing it's first card, this roleplay is officially filed as "Lost."

Original Post Date: January 31, 2007