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lost: AN INTRODUCTION

(The scene opens up in a mock-up of a den. Large, full bookcases are lined up along the far wall. There is a bearskin rug on the floor and soft, instrumental music can be heard in the background. There is a small oak table with a globe on it adjacent to a large, antique chair. Sitting in the chair is a man, dressed in a bathrobe and holding a pipe. A roaring fire can be seen behind him, providing the only light for the room. The man begins to speak.)

MAN-
"Good evening World Pro Wrestling fans! Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Scott 'The Boy' Hellings. But you may call me 'champ.' Because after Goldpush that is exactly what I'm going to be. You see, I'm gonna enter the royal rumble and I'm going to eliminate anyone who gets in my way. Tell you what, this is a lot of information all at once, so I'll pause for moment to let you soak in my superiority."

(The Boy pauses for a moment, staring at the camera and smirking. He continues..)

HELLINGS-
"Now I don't care if there is ten other guys in the ring I gotta go through, or fifteen, or twenty! Heck, there can be fifty guys in there and I'll destroy each and every one of them! There isn't one guy in this fed who could even match 1/56 of my talent! I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it!"

(The Boy pauses again and then takes a puff of his pipe. He immediately begins to hack and cough uncontrolably. He reaches beside his chair and grabs a bottle of water that he drinks from. He clears his throat and then continues.)

HELLINGS-
"Now obvisouly I don't smoke, but I'm trying to prove a point here. You see, I could smoke like a chimney or gain five hundred pounds by Goldpush and it wouldn't matter! When you're as good as me, nothing can stop you! Lungs blackened up with tar might make The Boy a little winded, but it couldn't stop me from winning the Television Title!"

(The Boy tosses the pipe into the fire behind him.)

HELLINGS-
"Now I hear some of you people out there in TV Land asking yourselves 'who is this guy?' Like I said, I'm The Boy, and I come to you from Rampage World Wrestling. In RWW I was capable of destroying the competition, despite my young age. It got so bad, I had to leave there, I was bored! So here I am now, in WPW, in search of some real competition. And you know what? It looks like I made a huge mistake; there's no competition here! I mean, El Surgeon Generale? That sounds like some secondary character on a low-budget Mexican version of ER!' Believe me people, I've seen footage of this guy and I can guarantee that man is not a licenced medical practioner! Or what about Demonic Hellspawn? If he is a real hellspawn, and I doubt it, does he really need to add the "demonic" bit? Am I supposed to mistake him for some other guy also named Hellspawn? Where does he come from that that name is so common? Is there an Unbearably Nice Hellspawn out there too? Or a Slightly Malcontent Hellspawn? Forlorn Hellspawn? I doubt it! Is this really the best this fed has to offer me? It's a damn good thing the Board of Directors have thrown a ton of cash my way, or I'd be gone! You know? I need to do something. I need to show you all something. Bear with me...."

(The Boy stops and gets out of the chair and spins around before sitting back down)

HELLINGS-
"THIS is what a champion looks like! I figured I'd better show all of you now, 'cause otherwise you'll never know! You see, I trained in the legendary Hart Dungeon. I got my nickname there because I may have been the youngest one there, but I was by far the best. Believe me, they might call me The Boy, but I am definitely The Man! After all, I'm a legend back in my home country of Canada. Heck, I'm THE Canadian Legend! So what makes all the doofuses here in WPW think they can beat me? You know what? I think you all need another visual aid. Hold on..."

(The Boy reaches behind his chair and pulls out a large board. On it is a hierarchy of various crudely-drawn animals, gradually ascending to a picture of Hellings.)

HELLINGS-
"Now this is the food chain. As you can clearly see, we humans are at the top, there is absolutely nothing above us. Now this...."

(Pulls out another chart. This one has several badly-drawn charicatures of every WPW superstar on one level, with a picture of Hellings on the top)

HELLINGS-
"This is the pecking order around here. Clearly, I am on top. Way on top! And, believe me, it's always gonna be that way! You see, while everyone else here is only a (making quotation marks with his fingers) 'superstar,' I am so much more than that! It's the same garbage they shove down your throats when you're in grade school, that (in a mocking voice) everyone is special! (Rolls eyes) PLEASE! Life doesn't work that way and neither does WPW! So now listen up monkeys, and that's what you all are-monkeys! Why? Cause you haven't evolved yet! If wrestlers evolved, everyone here in WPW would still be chimps, while I would be the guy at the top of the food chain! Now, you can call yourselves superstars all you want, but I know I'm better than that. I'm not a superstar, I'm not a mega-star, nor am I an ultra-star. No, no, no, no! The Boy is the one, the only, UBERstar! I'm working on a whole other level here, so deal with it!"

(Rips up the two diagrams and tosses them into the fire)

HELLINGS-
"It's only fitting that I'll be winning the Television Title this week. Because, face it, television needs a lot more of me, The Boy. Just look at this chiseled physique! (Sits up and strikes a few poses) You can stare all you want! Go ahead, be jealous of me! Heck, if I were you I'd want to be me too! I mean, I was born to be in front of a camera! But not everyone can be like me. There's only one spot for an UBERstar around here and it's taken, so consider a different line of work. It's unfortunate that the my peers are going to have to learn the hard way that there is only one Scott Hellings, but that's life. Don't worry guys, you can take comfort in the fact that, especially after I win the TV Title, you'll be seeing a whole lot more of me on your TV screens! It's not much, but it should give your miserable lives some amount of entertainment. So here I am, in World Pro Wrestling. Get used to me, because you're gonna be seeing a lot me! And soon, you'll realize that it's true when I say I am The Boy and that means I am The Best."

(The camera focuses on Hellings, smirking for a few moments, before finally fading to black.)

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