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rww:
RE-DEFINING RWW
(The scene opens up at a house show. As soon as a match has just ended, "Temptation" by The Tea Party starts up. Scott
"The Boy" Hellings starts walking down to the ring. He is wearing a pair of track pants and his Canadian Legend t shirt. He is
carrying his Intercontinental Title on his shoulder. The fans boo Hellings, who is carrying a clipboard in one hand and a large copy of Webster's Dictionary. He enters the ring,
drops his title on the mat, grabs a microphone and begins to speak.)
HELLINGS-
"You know, you people should really be a lot more appreciative that I am out here."
(The fans boo and start chanting "you suck.")
HELLINGS-
"Whatever. Now the reason I am out here is to do a little bit of community service. No, I didn't get into some trouble
with the law or anything. I know that the first thing comes into all of your minds when I say 'community service,' as you're all well too aware that sort of thing usually results after yet another appearance
on 'Cops!' But I am doing this out of the goodness of my own heart. I am doing this to help you, the fans, and
all the guys in the back understand a few things. Just to let you know, I also brought a cameraman with me. I know this is not supposed to
be a televised event, but the truth is I refuse to do an appearance when I am not on camera. Anyway, do you guys want to hear my
little spiel right now?"
(The fans chant a rather boisterous "NO.")
HELLINGS-
"Well that's just too bad, I don't care about you people. The only one who matters is me and this is what I want! I didn't get a cameraman for nothing you know! Now then, what I have done is gone through this dictionary
here..."
(The Boy holds up the dictionary for all to see)
HELLINGS-
"...and I have compiled a list of useful definitions for everyone. Hopefully, this will help you all to understand a few
things around here. So, let's get started. I'll try to go slowly, because I know you people can't process too much at a time because
all the in-breeding and whatnot."
(The fans get really angry and some even throw drinks into the ring, narrowly missing The Boy.)
HELLINGS-
"Now then, let's get started. The first word or phrase on my list is BORROWED TIME."
(The fans seem confused as to what Hellings is talking about.)
HELLINGS-
"Borrowed time is defined as being exactly what the RWW Champion is currently on! You see, Too Tuff, that belt is rightfully mine. I had it
won at Temptation until Jay Zee got involved. So, the first chance I get, that belt is coming home. So do yourself a favor and
get a couple of Polaroids with you and that title, because you won't get the opportunity to do so again for a LONG time! And, as
a point of reference for all, it says here to also look up TRANSITIONAL CHAMPION."
(The fans start chanting for Too Tuff, hoping the champion will arive to get rid of The Boy.)
HELLINGS-
"He's not coming out here, he's afraid! I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it! Now then, my next phrase is
YESTERDAY'S NEWS. And for a definition all it gave me was a picture of our good friend Mercy. Mercy, you ARE yesterday's news! I mean, a few
months back, you were on top of the RWW. You were THE man to beat! And now? Well, you lost to Too Tuff. And, rightfully
so, no one cares about you at all! Is anyone shocked? Too Tuff may be the champ and all, but he's still Too Tuff! You should have beat him! Maybe you should go off to the retirement home with your brother and the two of you
can talk about the good ol' days together. And that actually brings me to my next point...HAS BEEN. And all it has in
Webster's is a picture of Jay Zee, Bombtrack, and Donte Rocker."
(The fans cheer as soon as the hear the names of those three RWW legends.)
HELLINGS-
"What makes these guys honestly think they can still compete? Did Jay win Hell in a Cell at Deadly Sins? NO! Granted, neither did
I, but I had already fought in one match that night. There is no doubt that I am the most fine example of the human
specimen there is. I am in top notch condition. But even I can't be expected to wrestle and win two big matches in just
one night! What is Jay's excuse? Well, I'll tell you...he sucks! He is washed up! Bombtrack? Bombtrack had to cheat to beat
Rob Gamble! Rob isn't a wrestler! Let me tell you something, I beat Bombtrack. One of the the few times he has
ever been pinned in RWW and I did it! Well guys, you should know that you are far past your prime! Guys like me are on top
here and you can't keep up! And I heard Donte Rocker wants to come back too. Don't do it, Rocker, it's a big mistake. I'll personally see to that if I have to. Don't embarass yourself
like Jay and Bombtrack are doing right now! Because, believe me, you are washed up. And you know, I even heard that
Legend Inc is considering a comeback."
(The fans rise to their feet and start cheering quite loudly at the mention of the former World Champion.)
HELLINGS-
"Well Legend, you and I have never faced each other. Most likely because you would never give me the time of day when we were
both here. So, Legend, if you come back, I am challenging you to a match. You see, you call yourself a legend and I call
myself The Canadian Legend. I think it is about time we found out which one of us is the TRUE legend! So if you want to
come back, great. And when you do, I'll be there to challenge you. I will show you the reason you never wanted to
acknowledge my presence in RWW before...because you know I am way out of your league!"
(The fans boo Hellings yet again.)
HELLINGS-
"Speaking of people being in over their head...that brings me to my next word: WAR. War is a declaration
and it usually involves two sides with armies battling each other until one side submits. Well, here in RWW,
war has been declared by Pantera. But Pantera has no army to back her up and cannot be expected to
take out Rob Gamble by herself. She has not been here long enough to see just how things work here. I've seen
many a guy come in here and vow to take out Rob Gamble, to try and take away all his power. But every single
one of them has failed. Rob Gamble is still in control. Because every time you think you have Rob Gamble
beat, he comes right back at you, full force. If you chop off one head, another three grow in its place. Believe me, Pantera, you are not strong enough
to take him out. I mean, you actually lost to Supreme at Deadly Sins! Which reminds me of my next word...
SUPREME. I know this word may be hard for you people to understand, it is not monosyallbic, but bear with me."
(The fans start booing again.)
HELLINGS-
"Webster's defines supreme as being the highest in degree or quality. In short, it makes you the best. Well when you look up
THE BEST there is a picture of me, The Boy! Because just like I tell you people all the time, I am The Boy and that MEANS I am
The Best! I am the only three-time RWW Intercontinental Champion! I have held the title longer than anyone else and
I have never lost this title! I have never lost an IC matchup! So what makes Supreme think he is better than me? Well let me tell
you something, Supreme. After I finish with you, you are gonna have to start calling yourself (making quotation marks with his finger) 'Sub-Par', because that is
all you'll ever be able to aspire to! Now, before I leave, I have one more definition. TRAITOR. And when you look up that word there is a great
big picture of MC Tommy Dee!"
(The fans cheer at the mention of Tommy Dee's name.)
HELLINGS-
"See, Tommy needs to undestand a few things. He says Stupac was trying to hold him back? Now, I will
admit that Stu was holding Tommy back. But that is how it works out when you have someone as talented
as Stu working against someone as mediocore as Tommy Dee! You want to turn your back on PSI Tommy? You want to leave
PSI? We MADE you! You think you can really go out on your own and be a success?"
(The fans cheer to show that they are behind Tommy Dee.)
HELLINGS-
"Well you can't because you are the worst excuse for a wrestler I've ever seen! I never wanted to team up with you, but
I had to in order to get to Jay Zee. Now that reminds me, I heard you saying that I am too caught up with trying to take out
Jay and capturing the World Title as of late, that I can't see PSI crumbling before me. Well Tommy, you are wrong; I see it happening, and
I don't care! Because I don't need you or Damon! You two guys were holding ME back! And I am not consumed with Jay Zee, Tommy. He is the one
that interfered in my match at Temptation! He had no business being there! I had that match won! He is the one who is coming after me, not the other
way around! And what about me being obsessed with the World Title you ask? Well, if you are not obsessed with winning the title, then you shouldn't be here! Isn't that
supposed to be every wrestler's ultimate goal? And what harm is there in trying to bring some gold back to PSI? What have you done lately to help PSI get some
gold back? Well, let's see...you won the US Title. For like a day! And then you lost it to Bobby Digital! Face it, Tommy. You are, and always will be, a loser! I mean, excuse me for trying to be
a success Tommy! So while you and Damon run off and try and do your own little thing, I'm gonna go and do what I do best - be a winner! And before long,
I will have shown the entire world that I am the greatest superstar in RWW today! And Tommy? If you or anyone else tries to get in my way...you will find
out just how dangerous I can be!"
(The Boy drops the microphone and gets up on the turnbuckle to pose for the fans, who boo him rather emphatically.
As "Temptation" plays The Boy grabs his IC title and leaves the ring. Fade to black.)
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