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THE BOY ON FEAR FACTOR
(The scene opens up on the set of the hit TV show, 'Fear Factor'. We see Scott "The Boy" Hellings and MC
Tommy Dee enter the shot. They are standing in a line along with another man and three women. In front of them is the
host of the show, Joe Rogan.)
JOE-
"Alright, you know how the game works. You each have to complete three tasks to win. If you cannot complete a task,
or you don't want to attempt it, you are out of the game. So you know what to do and I assume you all know why you are
here."
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Right! We are here to "face our fears" and get ready for our match against Stupac and Matt Mathers on Monday!"
JOE-
"What are you talking about? You're supposed to be here to win money!"
HELLINGS-
"In theory. But my cohort, Tommy is correct. We are here to get ready for our match on Monday. (Hellings looks directly at the camera.) Which by the way you folks
at home can catch on The Fox Networks this Monday night! (Hellings looks back over
to Joe.) Sorry about, the plug Joe. But I couldn't resist the temptation of live
TV."
JOE-
"This isn't live, it's being taped."
HELLINGS-
"You think they'll keep that in anyway?"
JOE-
"I hope not. Beside, it's not gonna make a difference! By the time this airs your match will be over!"
HELLINGS-
"Oh. Well thanks, Joe! You really know how to let a guy down gently, don't you?"
(Joe sighs and rolls his eyes.)
JOE-
"So how will this show help you prepare for your match?"
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Because Stupac is always telling us to 'face our fears.' We hear this is the best place to do that sort of thing!"
HELLINGS-
"That, and we figured this show has the same name as his finisher-The Fear Factor. How could this NOT get us ready for the
match?!"
JOE-
"Whatever. Just don't do anything stupid!"
(Joe walks away, as do the other contestants, leaving Tommy and The Boy behind.)
HELLINGS-
"What an idiot! Who does he think we are?"
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Yeah! Why the hell would he set himself up to be disappointed like that?!"
(Hellings and Dee just shake their heads. The camera cuts out and fades back in. We
are now inside an abandoned warehouse.)
JOE-
"Okay. So, we are left with four contestants-Mike, Sarah and, of course, MC Tommy Dee and Scott Hellings. Thanks largely to
the fact that PSI here made Kelly and Amber quit. The Boy told them during the first task that eating a cricket was just like
eating Jimminy Crickett, the beloved Disney character. Sarah and Amber both went home crying after Hellings and Tommy Dee broke out into a chorus of
'When You Wish Upon a Star' Nice one fellas."
HELLINGS-
"Hey! It's not my fault they couldn't face their fears!"
JOE-
"Acutually, it is your fault. Anwyay, moving on to the second task-the snake pit. You will be lying down in a pit for
two minutes with two dozen snakes crawling overtop of you. And just so things don't screw up, I'm making Tommy Dee go first."
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Fair enough!"
(Tommy lies down in the pit and they start dumping the snakes on top of him. Joe starts
the clock and looks on as though he wishes one of the snakes would bit Tommy. After about ten seconds, Dee starts pulling the
snakes off of him.)
JOE-
"HA! I got you! You quit!"
MC TOMMY DEE-
"No I didn't! You never said I couldn't take the snakes off of me. You said I would be in a snakepit for two minutes, but you
never said I couldn't get rid of the snakes!"
JOE-
"What? Huh? No! You're wrong! That's cheating! You cheated!"
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Eat me."
(As Joe searches for an answer Tommy starts literally throwing the snakes out of the pit.
One lands inches away from the contestant, Sarah, who runs off screaming. A few are thrown in Joe's direction, who also runs
away.)
HELLINGS-
"Buddy, that was some great work! We are definitely learning how to face our fears! Stupac and Mathers are SO dead on Monday!"
(Tommy is holding the large python in his hands, stroking it. Hellings looks at him
inquisitvely.)
MC TOMMY DEE-
"What? I was figuring I could maybe keep this one. I could keep it in a sack and carry it with me to the ring!"
HELLINGS-
"I don't know man. It's been done."
(Joe comes back into the shot, slightly out of breath.)
JOE-
"That's it! You guys are done! You are out of here! You are continuing to endanger the lives of the other contestants and
you are also cheating! Get outta here!"
(Tommy pulls out a large, tacky necklace that he throws around his neck.)
MC TOMMY DEE-
"You can't! We have immunity!"
JOE-(yelling)
"That's Survivor! "
HELLINGS-
"No, actually it in our contract with the show. You can't kick us out, this is a promotional appearance. Tommy just like to
wear the necklace for effect."
(Joe sighs).
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Besides, if you want to kick someone out, kick Mike out!"
JOE-
"WHY?!!!"
HELLINGS-
"I have it on good authority that he is the mole."
(Joe just storms off. The camera fades out and comes back in. We are now on a plane
flying above the Atlantic Ocean.)
JOE-
"Okay! In this task you must jump ten thousand feet out of this plane and into the icy cold water below. So, grab your
parachutes! Mike, you're up first!"
(The Canadian Legend hands Mike a parachute.)
HELLINGS-
"Here you go."
JOE-
"LET ME SEE THAT FIRST!"
(Joe grabs the parachute and opens it. Inside is nothing more than silverware. He glares over
at The Boy and Tommy Dee in shock.)
JOE-
"You were actually going to give him that parachute!?"
HELLINGS-
"Just keeping you on your toes, Joe. Besides, I saw it on Bugs Bunny once. Trust me, it would have been damn funny!"
(Joe grabs his forehead, as though he has a headache. Mike grabs a real parachute and
goes to the door of the plane. He waits and waits and waits. He is scared.)
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Just go, dude!"
MIKE-
"I can't! I'm afraid!"
(Hellings sighs and gets up and walks over to the door. He taps Mike on the back.
As Mike turns around, Hellings grabs him ny the throat and gives him The Chokeslam to HELLings out of the plane! Mike pulls his
cord and lands in the water safely. Joe jumps up and starts yelling.)
JOE-
"What the hell were you thinking?"
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Please! He's fine, plus he gets to win the money!"
JOE-
"I never want to see you two ever again!"
(Hellings and Dee just nod in agreement. The camera fades out and fades back into
the parking lot outside of the 'Fear Factor' studios.)
HELLINGS-
"Well, I'm gad Mike won. And, as a bonus, we are totally prepared for Stupac and Mathers on Monday! He doesn't stand a chance!! By the way,
where is Damon?"
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Oh, he went across the street. They're doing auditions for the next Making the Band. You wanna go?"
HELLINGS-
"Just try and stop me! Let's go!"
(As the two walk off they notice an old, run down school across the street.)
MC TOMMY DEE-
"Hey! You figure that is the old school DDP keeps talking about?"
HELLINGS-
"I'd rather not know."
(Tommy nods in agreement. The two continue to walk across the parking lot to go
find Damon Gest. Fade to black.)
  
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