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ewa: THE MALE MUST GO THROUGH


This was not the original title of this roleplay, but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was. I like this one a lot better though. It's great, isn't it? It doesn't help that the original post was lost. First, we had one board set up for EWA, then it kinda died and we moved to a new board. Then there was some shuffling around with the brand split and all the Implosion roleplays before the split got lost. This was one of them. I have never seen such problems with a message board in my life. Oh well. Anyway, this one is based on my capitalizing more on Jessie Devlin, Destiny, and Ric Thunder all leaving EWA at the same time. Not only were they all champions (International, World and Tag, respectively), but Devlin and Thunder were set to face me at Squared Circle Mania.

So, I sent a message to Adam Price and asked if he would mind me declaring that I am responsible for them leaving, as it was such a great idea for the character. He told me to run with it. It's just great cheap heat, especially since everyone knew that it wasn't true at all, but it suited The Boy perfectly. I loved it. This roleplay, on the other hand, I'm not a huge fan of. It's decent, but it could have been longer (I'm never satisfied, am I?). Still, it was difficult trying to take credit for the three leaving and talk about Precious all at once, so I accomplished what I had to and that's worth something I guess.

(The scene opens up inside a post office. Several people can be seen in the background, trying to send and pick up packages. The camera is focused on a billboard on the far wall. There are a number of local ads and notices from the post offices. Then, a hand can be seen entering the shot, holding some sort of poster. Another hand comes into view, holding a stapler. The poster is stapled into place. The hands disappear and reveal a second poster. Then a third. The three posters are for missing people and one features the picture of Ric Thunder, another Jessie Devlin and a third Destiny. The camera pans out to reveal the owner of the hands as the last poster is stapled into place. It is none other than Scott "The Boy" Hellings. As always, interested in his own self-promotion, he is wearing one of his black "Canadian Legend" t-shirts. He tosses the stapler onto a nearby chair and smirks at the camera).

HELLINGS-
"You know it seems there has been a revolving door of opponents and teammates for me this week. Honestly, it seems like every day I'm told to expect something-or someone-else. Does it surprise me? Not really. Not at all actually. You see no one wants to face me. Ric Thunder knew he was going to have face off against me in Double Ladder Mayhem. So he ran away with his tail between his legs. Jessie Devlin has faced me once before and she knew that she wouldn't get lucky twice, so she too ran away. Destiny faced me last week in what was, for all intents and purposes, a handicapped match, and she saw that even in a 2-on-1 situation she could barely handle me, so she's gone. Three major titleholders in this company have all walked away and it is because of me. That's right, I'm taking credit for them leaving. I know Precious won't appreciate it, I'm sure she'll even try to refute that statement. But, believe me, it's a cold hard fact! They left because they knew they couldn't beat me! I know it, you know it, the whole damn world knows it! And do you wanna know something else?"

(The Boy looks around the post office mocking a sense of incredulousness).

HELLINGS-
"Why it seems like the world is still spinning! People are still going on with their daily lives! How can this be? It's almost as though, as though...no one gave a damn about them in the first place! Ric Thunder? Jessie Devlin? Destiny? Who cares? Who were they? Nobodies! Me? I'm THE Canadian Legend and the One and Only UBERstar! Losing me would be a huge loss but, fortunately, I'm still here. So good riddance to bad rubbish I say. And you know what? This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened to me either. There have been dozens of times when an opponent has just disappeared after facing me. Some call me 'The Bermuda Triangle of Wrestling.' And, some might think it's a bad thing to have these people leave. But that would be wrong. You have me, what more do you need? I'll carry this damn company on my back if I have to!

Ric Thunder leaving just means that the truly great, such as myself, are allowed more opportunities. And all I can say is that it is about damn time. Yessir, it will only be a matter of time now before I firmly entrench my status as the Marquee Player, the Franchise Saviour and the Number One Money Maker! Don't feel sorry for them though because I'll make sure that my Red and White Ribbon Campaign will take care of them. Look, I can't help being this good, I really can't. It's almost a curse really. But that's reality so you're just going to have to deal with it! Years from now they'll speak of my dominance, telling tales of my superiority. One day you'll be able to tell your grandchildren that you were there; you got to see Scott Hellings' rise to the top. And although the legend of in-ring prowess will sound more like tall tales or like the old timers are spinning a good yarn, it will all be true. This is just the beginning people. So sit back and enjoy the ride!

You know what I predict? Within six months-at most-I'll be the World Champion. Within two years there will be an 'A&E Biography' of my life. Within five years they'll be making a biopic of me on the silver screen. Naturally, it will sweep the Oscars because we all know that I am The Boy and that does mean that I am The Best! And within ten years they'll be remaking that film because all my fans, all The Boy Scouts, will be starving for more of me. Besides, Hollywood's not allowed to make anything original anymore, right? Oh, trust me, I'll be HUGE! I'm already on my way to taking over the wrestling world, and thanks to my Worldwide Publicity Tour, I'm also on the path to taking over all mainstream media too! Heck, I'm already the Nielsen's Favourite Son! Put me anywhere on television and the ratings just soar! It's almost scary to think, but just imagine where I'll be in a matter of months. Where will the Ric Thunders and Destinys of the world be? Sitting at home, wondering if they made the right decision. And, let me spare you the trouble folks, the right call was made. Yes, walking away now was the right move. After all, why embarrass yourself? Look, they may call me The Boy, but there is no doubt that I am The Man!

And who knows? Maybe the next time we all see Ric Thunder or Jessie Devlin, they'll be standing in line with all the other imbeciles trying to get my autograph! And maybe Precious will be there too. Because we all know that after I beat her this week at Implosion, she too will have to run away with her tail between her legs. She too will be standing in the unemployment line, thanks to me. After I destroy her, humiliate her; no one will want to see her get in the ring again! The post office has a way of dealing with such unsavory things in life..."

(The Boy pulls out a letter from his pocket and holds it up to the camera. It reads "RETURN TO SENDER.")

HELLINGS-
"...Return to Sender. Just like people put a 'No Junk Mail' sticker on their mailboxes, no one is going to want to see a second-rate wrestler like Precious after I beat her. The fans will simply toss her out with all the rest of the trash."

(The Boy takes the letter and shoves it into a nearby mailbox.)

HELLINGS-
"You know what I find fascinating about the post office? This is an institution that has practically become obsolete, thanks to email and the WorldWide Web, yet some people still cling to it. Some people just can't let go. And Precious is one of those people; although her little gal pals took off on her, she refuses to walk away too. She still seems to think that she can still survive without WOW Evolution watching her back. It's over Precious, move on. You're simply not in my class, are you? I'm the lord and you're the serf. I'm a Brahmin and you're an Untouchable. And the crazy part is that instead of resenting them, you still talk of them as though they are your friends. Get real Precious: they abandoned you. They don't care about you. They've left you behind to fend for yourself, the lamb sent to slaughter. Is that really fair? Does that sound like the actions of someone who cares about you? I think not.

And, by the way, don't go advising me to not show up for my match. Believe me, I'll be there. I'll be there and I'll win. You may have won last week, but do remember that you had a bit of, well...help. Help that is no longer available, I might add. Although you are determined to have an ace up your sleeve, so you need someone there to back you up. What's the matter Precious? Need someone to hold your hand? You think you can't take me on 1-on-1? Well, you're right. Fans of Precious, and I know they are few and far between; will be waiting a long time to see you victorious over me in a 1-on-1 setting. Getting through one of the lines at the post office would be quicker!"

(The camera pans to show the long, slow moving lines at the post office, before panning back to The Boy.)

HELLINGS-
"Brag all you want, talk trash until you're blue in the face, but the fact remains that you can't beat me without someone there to help you out. And no one knows that better than you Precious. Last week I was going to phone my match in because I had no desire for your goofy little tag titles, but Bryan Anderson stabbed me in the back and hung me out to dry. And that's just fine, because I didn't want anything to do with him anyway. But don't you dare go telling people that beating me again is a foregone conclusion or something like that because we all know that the deck isn't quite as stacked against me this week. Sure, you'll still have help on the outside, but at least it won't be another handicap match. And, as far as I'm concerned, you can tell me you're woman enough to handle any man in EWA, but you certainly haven't proven it. Not on your own anyway.

And that, THAT is why I'm going to beat you Precious. I have the upper hand because I can see that you doubt your own ability. There is a very obvious chink in your armour and I'm going to exploit it. And when it's all said and done, I'll make sure I've done my part to help you reunite with your girly friends so you ladies can have yourselves a nice little slumber party. You can stay up late, do each other's nails and talk about your first time...your first time losing to me. Act confident all you want, but we all know what is really going to go down at Implosion, don't we? My victory is ready to be (making quotation marks with his fingers) 'signed, sealed and delivered.' Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor any of your little friends will stop me!"

(The Boy turns to leave, but turns back around to look at the camera one last time.)

HELLINGS-
"I've already chased away three EWA superstars and don't be surprised if you're the next one Precious. You're just another annoying step on my path to greatness. I told you all before that there is no stopping me, I WILL be on top of this company, sooner rather than later. Why? Because I want to, because I can!"

(The Boy then pulls out an envelope addressed to Ric Thunder. He grabs one of his Red and White Ribbons and places it in the envelope, smirking. He then licks the envelope closed and shoves the letter in the mailbox and walks off. The scene then fades to black.)

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