Reunion

I think we must have met up a year or so later and he immediately recognised my voice when I called him. I had to go through great lengths to get his new number, as I had deleted his numbers in order to stop myself from calling him. I was too proud to do that but that doesn't mean I stopped caring or thinking about him.

He sounded excited at hearing my voice and even though I was speaking to him after such a long time, I recalled how harsh he was to me, when he told me to "get on with my life". How could I when I lived and breathed him, maybe he never really did care for me and was only after one thing, which I was adamant would not happen until after marriage.

Anyway I wanted to congratulate him on finally appearing in Eastern Eye, which I took the credit for as I continued to bombard their entertainment section for ages until they finally gave in and interviewed his group.

I cannot recall the conversation but we ended up meeting once again and guess what these meetings continued for over seven years and now this so called relationship has finally come to an abrupt end.

I became extremely busy with my job and he gave up his passion to start his own business. We both became very busy and didn't spend enough time together, maybe he just drifted apart and came to his senses. I didn't stop loving him when he was busy with his career and then his business. Why do things suddenly change when the other party isn't able to give them their undivided attention?

Our phonecalls became infrequent to start with and then we couldn't see eachother as frequently as we would have liked to. There was always something, maybe I am to blame in a way or maybe it was destined to be this way.

When we initially spoke with eachother on the phone, he would enquire qbout the well being of my parents, siblings and the fish. However all this stopped and I knew in my heart of hearts that something wasn't right but didn't pay much attention, as I had just started training on a very hectic job.

The text messages stopped, as he was apparently too busy and then the phonecalls also became infrequent. The final straw came when I sent a sweet Happy New Year 2005 message but didn't receive one back. I sat there all night waiting for his call, then I called him witholding my number a few minutes past midnight and when I heard a ringing tone, I immediately disconnected the line feeling very hurt.

He couldn't be bothered to send a message let alone call me. I waited till the following day making excuses on his behalf perhaps his family was there and he couldn't get away.

I was disappointed as there was no call the following day, so I called him and I asked him straightaway if he received my message and he denied any knowledge of ever receiving one and then I asked him why he didn't call. He lied about the network being too busy and I felt my heart shattering to a few million pieces, as I knew I managed to contact him.

I sat in my bedroom with tears streaming down my cheeks, as I knew this would be the last time I was going to let him hurt me. I had been putting up with his behaviour for over seven years and now I couldn't tolerate it.

At the moment I am going through the same heartache but not as many tears however on certain occassions when I am missing him terribly I do shed a few more tears to add to the river which must be floating somewhere in orbit by now.

Looking back I don't recall crying in my life until I met him. I don't know maybe crying is good but then again I am a very emotional and hyper sensitive person. I'll be watching a romantic movie and would find tears streaming down my cheeks.

I remembered him mostly at night time when I would be trying to get to sleep and recall all the moments we spent together and wondering why? Why did we ever meet? Why didn't it work out? Why do Asian families have to be so difficult? Why do we have to please everyone? Why do we have to come up on tops in all categories e.g. education, good job, good background etc. etc.

You're far away
but I can feel you
you exist in my every breath
in every beat of my heart
Even when I close my eyes
I see your face and
feel your caress

I have tried to hate him and stopped praying for his success, health and happiness but I cannot forget him. He was the only good thing in my life and I am still wondering why did we have to part?