Heartbreak

There wasn't a single day that went past when I didn't think about him. There were many occasions when I would be alone in my bedroom and I would throw myself on the bed and just cry violently as I missed him so much. If only I hadn't let him come too close to me then I wouldn't be suffering so much.

This bitter experience taught me an important lesson, which was to hold everyone at an arm's length so that no one can hurt me again. I am a rerserved person and don't normally allow many people to get close to me.

He changed me or maybe the feeling of being in love changed me. I became a lot more thoughtful about other people and wanted whoever I met to know about my Immy.

I changed and went back to being the mysterious person who didn't want anyone to get too close.

I also completely lost my appetite during this time and didn't realise how painfully thin I had become. I did buy clothes that were a size smaller than my normal size but when I accidentally tried on a size six garment, it was then that I realised how awful I looked.

From then onwards I tried to eat healthily as my health was more important than anything else was but that's not to say that I stopped thinking about him. However now my affection had turned to anger and I wanted revenge. I wanted to hurt him too.

I wondered if he really truly loved me like the way I did or did he use me? I was hoping he didn't.