Closed Chapter

I have tried to hate him hoping I would get over him but I still haven't forgotten him , maybe because it's only been a few weeks since we have separated but this time I think it's for eternity.

Even though I can't hate him but that doesn't mean I have forgiven him. I have tried not to curse him but when I am missing him I pray that every single teardrop that falls out of my eyes ends up on his heart like boiling water so that he can feel the pain that I am going through.

I wonder if he is hurting? Did he use me intentionally or did he truly love me but had to leave me to keep his family happy. I just don't know and I can't make any sense of it. Why can't he be man enough to admit his true thoughts.

He doesn't want to see me now but for some reason hasn't changed his mobile phone number. I still end up calling him just wanting to listen to his voice and then trying to make feeble excuses about why I called him. The classic one being prayer times and I am not serious this is a genuine reason as I really haven't got a clue what the prayer times are and how frequently they change.

He used to give me the times but I think he know that he's not going to get away so he told me to watch Sattelite channel 836. How can I? I have lost interest in everything, I am no longer crazy about Salman Khan, lost touch with the latest bollywood movies and tunes as well as Pakistani Pop music, which led me to him in the first place.

He has now apparently become very religious, well I am pleased for him. Is it fair that he has turned to religion after using and abusing me for such a long time and spoiling my life.

I am going to burn in hell for pining after him whilst he very conveniently turns his life around. I know I also need to get a life and move on, so he keeps on telling me. How convenient for him to say that?

He showered me with affection and bought presents for me with my money and also demanded presents like a spoilt brat. I gave in. Do you know it seems like as If I was the guy in the relationship. How sad is that!!!

I really should hate him. I don't need to look for excuses as he deserves to be hated. He really is scum no scumbag even worse slimeball.