Marriage Proposals

Now that's when reality really hits you, when the so-called rishta's start popping up.

I found this period extremely daunting, how can one marry a stranger and expect to live their life with that person forever. I definitely didn't want a serious person, can you imagine how dull life would be, well for me anyway. Mum and dad would try and persuade me by saying that I can take my time and meet the person at least to see what they are like. We won't force you but my heart just didn't agree with this scenario. I just couldn't get over the fact that no one from my family knows this person beforehand, whom I expected to meet with the intention of getting married.

Thinking about those daunting days, I now think maybe it wasn't such a bad idea but then it gets extremely awkward to agree to the family coming around to see one but one hasn't got a clue what this person is supposed to look like. It would have helped if one had seen a photo of the stranger, at least then the heart and mind knows what's going to walk through the door.

Then again my heart and mind just couldn't accept the fact that my parents would stoop to levels like placing matrimonial ad's in newspapers. This used to make me feel low.

When people used to respond to these ad's to enquire about further details, I used to get even more depressed.

Well anyway I really don't know what the problem was but everytime mum used to give me the bad news that someone was coming over to see, I used to feel disheartened and scared, yes definitely scared stiff and then I would react in a negative way by misbehaving with my mum, which I regret to this day but what was one supposed to do, as no one wanted to know what I wanted. My bothers and sister were too young to get involved and I didn't have a close relationship with my parents. I definitely wasn't going to get married just for the sake of getting married. No way, I had been a Miss Goody two shoes for all my life and I deserved (I hope with God's grace) some chance of real and true happiness. Didn't I?