|
Footprints
Old Guestbook
Sign Guestbook
* too full
Novel
IRC
Salleh's Place |
"Any last words,anyone?"
The sombre tone in Enazz's voice said it all. We were surrounded by at least fifty mutant arse-chomping zombies. Each were eyeing at our backsides lustfully, saliva oozing out of their mouths as if they were starving hunters watching their prey. There was no doubt about it. We were in the bleakest of all situations and there was no turning back. Even the most optimistic person on earth would come to the conclusion that were were 'buggered to the seventh layer of Hell.' Louis Farrakhan had a better chance of survival if he walked into a Ku Klux Klan meeting with a bullseye painted on his forhead and 'Damn you redneck, white trash honkeys' written on his chest.
"I guess there's nothing else for it," said Fara, rolling up her sleeve. "We fight."
Duke lit up his toy Darth Maul lightsaber, all the while humming the tune to the Phantom Menace. The replica weapon hummed and glowed a bright red, power coursing through its system from the batteries it came with. The zombies suddenly halted their advance, as if it were the most dangerous thing on earth. I looked at it with awe.
"Sial!" I said. "Lu bawak lightsaber! This is not fair, man. You have a frickin weapon!"
Duke charged at the zombies, in front of our eyes and started to hack and slash his way through them. It wasa miracle. Somehow the lightsaber cut through the zombie flesh like.. well.. a lightsaber cutting through flesh. We couldnt believe our eyes. We also breathed a sigh of relief. At least the zombies are retreating.
"What the hell is going on?" asked Xylia.
Enazz had that same glint in her eyes Duke had just a moment ago. With an almighty yell she ran right into a crowd of escaping zombies, tearing out their spines in the process. Two zombies never knew what hit them. In one second they had their spines removed with the surgical care of a caveman hunting a wooly mammoth. One strong willed zombie tried to put up a resistance and grab hold of her but she was proving to be too nimble. In one graceful movement she sidestepped a possibly massive punch and countered with a jab of her own, one that punctured the unfortunate zombie's flesh. She tore out his heart and held it up to the sky.
Another zombie felt lucky and leaped on her. The poor fool never had a chance. With movement that would make any WWF wrestler proud she brought the zombie to the ground and started to pound his face. Punch after punch met its mark, reducing the face into an unrecognizable pulp of flesh. Finally the face exploded into a massive bloody blob on the ground, but Enazz kept on hitting the now deceased zombie, all the while yelling "Dont mess with me!", "You do not want to piss me off!" and "Hail to the King, baby!"
We were all inspired by the courage shown by our two friends. When facing incredible odds, they pulled through and it looked as though that there was light at the end of this dark tunnel that we were in. It also proved one thing. In the future, we should never piss these two people off.
Stats was next to get into the fray. Breaking a table umbrella off its stand, he wielded the massive pole as if it were a medieval lance. He took one swing and decapitated five zombies at one go. Having finished off those five, he impaled another in the stomach and then opened the umbrella. The result was a marvel to behold. When the umbrella opened, the zombie's body split in half, each side flew in oposite directions. No doubt about it. In terms of artistic flair, Stats is the master.
By this time, eveyone had gotten into the act. Shah proved to be very effective, punching out the zombies one by one. A kick here and another there brought about countless sub-humans to their dooms. Showing creativity in his attack, he used the facial hair on his chin to crush the throat of an approaching zombie. However things didn't turn out so good for Shah. Kenny, one of the original zombies organised a group of them and surrounded him. Try as he could, he could not fight all of them, definitely not all at once. He put up a good fight but as weariness reared its ugly head in, he fell victim to blow after blow. on his knees with blood flowing into his eyes, he prepared to accept his fate with dignity.
Shah closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable but by an amazing stroke of luck, the inevitable never came. The surrounding area was suddenly awash with blue lightning and then the advancing zombie hoarde dropped dead, headless. The cause of their sudden decapitation soon became obvious to Shah as he wiped blood from his eyes. The look of shock on his face was quite apparent. It was an Amazonian Warrior weilding the largest sword he'd ever seen. She was dressed like Xena, but unlike Xena, this Amazon looked more fearsome. Even Conan the Barbarian would think twice before sparring with her.
"Sweetie," said Shah. "Is that you?"
Jee and Fara were at it as well, stabbing zombies with used chopsticks. As a team they were the most effective lot of zombie killers ever seen.
"You know what, Moffats lover?" asked Xylia while she poked a zombie in the eyes.
Having finished off their fair share of zombies, they then proceeded to beat each other up.
While the major battle was taking place at Salleh's Place, I had an agenda of my own. I snuck up to Salleh's stall and stole a big container of his teh tarik. I wasn't thirsty. I just had an appointment with the toilet monster. I had a score to settle with him and this time I will be champion.
|