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Footprints
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Salleh's Place |
I was floating in oblivion. The colours of the rainbow were swirling is if part of a huge kaleidescope that went on as far as the eye could see. Purple seeped into orange and then green and then blue. Yellow became red, then green then brown, all the while swirling with other colours. It was as if I was on the ultimate LSD trip where colours melted into each other.
I saw shapes float by and meld with each other. An elephant fused itself with a toaster oven and became an organic mass of electrical wiring and golden brown toast. I saw a Ford Pinto mate with a tree, the result of such a union being a long leafy log with wheels.
While I was floating, I happened to encounter the spirit of F Scott Fitzgerald, noted author of great literary works such as "The Great Gatsby" and "Tender is the Night". He offered me a scotch and soda, which I declined politely.
"Oh," he exclaimed. "You're one of em New Age fellas eh? Mineral water and vegetarianism all the way?"
I drifted away, not too sure of where I was heading. It was at this time that I encountered Sidney Sheldon. Not wanting to endure a conversation about his mindless novels, I clubbed him to death with the stone Fitzgerald gave me. Not too bad, I thought. This stone might be helpful after all.
Soon enough I ceased to drift. It seemed that I had arrived at my destination, a deserted town filled with low rise buildings not uncommon to an area like Kensington. At the corner of each building were well kept gardens, filled with trees and benches. No, they're more like parks. I thought. Nice and peaceful. I could like living here.
I just stood there not knowing what exactly I was supposed to do. Was I to enter one of the houses? Sit down at one of the parks and have a bloody picnic? Oh well, I figured out that the reason for my being here will present itself in due time. And a casual stroll through an empty park never killed anyone.
I wandered through the first park until I saw a table with a picnic basket laid out. There was quite an extravagany meal for one, roast chicken with stuffing, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob and a chilled cheesecake. I approached the table with caution. It was then that I noticed a small greeting card addressed to me.
"Dig in. Help yourself to the food while I get ready," said the note.
Naturally, when faced with instructions such as that, one must obey. Its never wise to offend one's host, after all.
After finishing off the well prepared meal, a huge voice boomed inside my head. It was like being accidentally playing an Iron Maiden album on the world's largest stereo system with the volume cranked up to "Ear bleedingly, deafeningly loud crap."
"Fear not, for I have brought you here as a messenger to the outside." boomed the voice, which seemed to be of a female nature.
My sight must have been failing me for all at once everything seemed to be blurry. The leftover chicken faded into a mess of colour and reformed itself as the face of Stats.
"Finally, you're awake." said Stats. "I didn't think I hit your head so hard."
A dream. It was just a dream. Boy, what a relief! For a moment I felt as if I had to save the world. Now I can go back to being the ordinary underachieving bastard that I am.
I stood up and put my hands in my pocket when I felt a cool and somewhat soothing feeling. I pulled it out and there it was, the stone that Fitzgerald gave me. If it was only a dream then how the bloody hell did this damned thing get here?
"Defeat Chunhundun," the Priestess screamed inside my head.
Now I have to act all heroic.
Now I have to save all humanity.
Oh crap!
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