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This is our contribution towards a more educated society. The Guide
is an almost limitless library of information that anyone may access to rid the world of idiots
and other useless gits.
May it serve you well. So here we go.. How to Nuke People Online Ever been nuked by stupid bastards while online?
Follow these simple steps to ensure the perfect vengeance.
How to Make (Cheap) Malaysian TV Dramas Find the most talented people you can find and kill them. Talent does not come cheap. Instead get the stupidest gits. They can mostly be found in the more run down parts of Chow Kit. Then you will need a story and script. This is easy. just recycle any old plot about 'boy-meets-girl-but-parents-dont-approve-bla-bla-bla'.As for script, make sure that u include dialogue in that type of Bahasa Melayu that can only be found in Standard 6 Examination Papers. Then you will need actors. You must get the most
'muka kampung' people you can get your hands on.If you cant find any, regular people will do
fine but plastic surgery isa must. They must have very poor dress sense, putting on ridiculous
clothes in a failed effort to look 'trendy'.
Shooting comes next. You must scenes in the
following places:
The background music is, of course, a very integral part of any tv drama. More so in a cheap Malaysian TV drama. You have a choice in these matters. you can either rip off matsalleh music, rip off local dangdut or 'rock melayu' songs or you can bea little creative and come up with the most ridiculous and/or irritating music you can make up. Finally there is your post production editing.
Please ensure that these are done correctly.
There you have it. A rough guide to making the dumbest dramas ever made for local television. Need more help? Just tune in to any local TV station and watch any of theirdramas currently on air. Have fun destroying the minds of intelligent TV
viewers everywhere.
How to be a Malaysian Computer Hacker Before I begin, let me giveyou a brief description of how REAL computer hackers are. Imagine the geekiest prat you can think of. Imagine someone like Bill Gates or Bill Nye the Science Guy. Got that? Now imagine someone who is ten times as geeky with very pale skin because he never leaves the comfort of the dark computer room unless he is being hunted by the FBI. That basically sums up an actual professional hacker. Now back to the article. The Malaysian Hackers Associationis currently looking for talentless people to join thier fledgling organisation. Anyone who meets these requirements may apply immediately to this address: 1. IQ must not exceed 40(preferable IQ range: 5 to 15) 2. Must have the misconception that hackers are cool, groovy and hip - as portrayed in various Hollywood movies. (refer to above paragraph) 3. Lots of free time on hand. 4. Must own at least onecopy of the movie "Hackers". 5. Must have a really cooland threatening nickname like 'Crash`N`Burn' or 'EvilBerg' or 'sparetyre'to counteract the geeky image of hackers in the eyes of intelligent people. 6. Must have total disregardfor the convenience of other people (also a requirement for bus and taxidrivers, train conductors and government clerks). Applications must be accompaniedby full resume. How to be 'Webmaster' for an IRC channel 1. Lots of free time.
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