"Tit tot tit tot tit tot tit tot tit tot tit tot tit tot"
The sound was as scary as it was annoying. Especially when one is in a dark
room crammed with people.
"What the heck is that sound?" asked Enazz.
"Beats me," replied Shah.
"I have a brilliant idea," said Stats. "Lets turn the bloody light on and see
what it is."
"Wahh.. clever la lu," said Duke. "Lu belajar sampai PhD ke?"
Stats turned on the lights and suddenly the room was illuminated. The thing
that surprised us the most was that it was larger than we expected. In fact,
the room was cavernous. It looked like an airplane hanger at a major airport.
"Dudes, this cant be here." I said.
"Forget about that now, lets just see what that sound is." said Stats.
We headed further into the room, heading towards the source of that sound. It
seemed that the sound came from a figure who sat in the middle of the room,
surrounded by candles. She was an impressive sight. Her long hair passed her
shoulders. Although she was looking down, the light of the room reflected off
something which looked like a gold stud at her nose. She was dressed in loose
fitting robes, the kind that African nomads wear. Its colours seemed to melt
into each other like a psychadelic dream.
"Tit tot tit tot tit tot tit tot," she kept repeating.
"Uh, hello?" I asked
"Tit tot tit tot tit tot tit tot," she continued.
"Uh, can yuo hear me?"
"EY!! Don't disturb me when I'm meditating, I wack you, then u know!"
"That sounds familiar," said Stats. "Eh, Marina! What the hell are you doing,
woman?"
"Eh totet, you here too ahh?"
"Of course la."
"You vait till I finish meditating ahh?"
I looked at my friends, utterly confused. This is getting too weird.
"Tit tot tit tot tit tot tit tot," Marina mumbled to herself.
"Guys, someone punch me. I must be having a nightmare," said Stats.
"Ey, you don't have to punch. This is real lah," replied Marina.
"Oh, you've finished meditating," I said.
"Yup. Now I can tell you about how to stop the zombies."
"First of all, tell us this," I said. "Just what the heck are you doing here?"
"Aiyoo! You didnt recognize my voice when you were unconscious aaa?"
"You dont exactly sound like F Scott Fitzgerald, you know."
"Ey! I was the voice in your head la! Idiot."
"Damnit. No wonder that voice was familiar.
"Uh guys, sorry to interrupt you, but what the hell are you talking about?"
asked Fara.
I decided to tell them the whole story. After all thats happened, I'm sure
being attacked by a monster that lives in the toilet is quite normal.
"Well, you guys remembered when I came back from the toilets all wet? I was
attacked by a monster that lives in the toilet."
"Uh huh,"said Jee.
" Well, apparently, the monster controlls all the zombies. And after Stats used
my head as a weapon against Henry, Marina took me to this strange place and
told me it was up to us to kill the monster and save humanity."
"Thats right," said Marina. "I am actually a voodoo priestess sent here to vait
for the comming of Chunhundun"
"Who?" asked Shah.
"The toilet monster," she replied. "Well, I have been moving from one place to
another over time looking for the damned thing. Now its here and its making its
move."
"And how exactly are we involved?" asked Stats?
"You are here to help me kill it. For once and for all. My master Atrillos
tried to do it four thousand years ago but he was attacked by Chunhundun while
he was eating some roti canai. He choked to death."
"Your master died four thousand years ago? How old are you exactly?" asked
Stats.
"EY! Never ask a woman about her age! Its impolite." she replied.
"Well?"
"Okay la! I am 4390 this year. Are you happy now?" she pouted.
"Right," I said. "What do we do?"
"Well, to defeat the zombies is easy enough. All you need is some of Abang
Salleh's teh tarik. Just spray it on them. That will do the trick."
"Teh tarik? Are you mad?" I asked.
Marina slapped me. "EY! Do what I say la. As for Chunhundun, just throw the
stone Mr Fitzgerald gave you at it. That will kill the bugger."
"Thats it?" Shah asked. "Some teh tarik and a stone is all we need to kill
these things? And your master failed?"
"I just said he was my master. I didn't say he was smart. Now go. I'll teleport
you to Salleh's Place to get the teh tarik."
"Sure thing," said Fara, looking a little more than just confused.
"One more thing," added Marina.
"What is it?"
"Can you get me some limau ais? Meditating can get you quite thirsty."
With a wave of a hand, we were consumed in light. We felt light headed all of a
sudden as our physical bodies were transported from the mysterious parking lot
room to Salleh's Place. When we rematerialised, we noticed that we had appeared
right in the middle of a congregation of zombies. They looked at our arses
lustfully, hunger in their eyes.
"Guys," said Jee. "We are SO screwed."