AGGIE JOKES

Short Ones

How many Aggies does it take to eat an armadillo?
Two. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.

How do you get a Texas A & M graduate off your front porch?
You pay for your pizza!

A 2-seater plane crashed into a cemetery near College Station.
The Aggie fire department uncovered 700 bodies.

Ice is no longer available in the drinks at the cafeterias at A&M.
The senior who knew the recipe graduated.

Why do Aggies hate M&Ms?
They're too hard to peel.

Did you know that there are three types of Aggies?
Those who can count and those who can't.

How many Aggies did it take to unscrew a light bulb?
1,001. One to hold the bulb and 1,000 to turn the house.

Did you hear about the Aggie at the stop sign?
Well, he's still there.

Chickens

An Aggie decides to raise chickens. So, he goes to the feed store and buys some chicks. He takes the chicks home, and plants them with their heads sticking up. He waters them, but they die.

He goes back to the feed store and tells the proprietor that he bought defective chicks, and gets another set. This time he plants them with their heads sticking down. He waters them, but they die.

He then sends a letter to his Alma Mater, describing the problem. They send a letter back asking for a soil sample.

Nails

Two Aggie builders were working on a house. One Aggie was on a ladder nailing. He'd reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, look at it, and either toss it over his shoulder or proceed to nail it into the wood.

The other Aggie couldn't stand it any longer and yells up, "Why are you throwing some of the nails away?"

The first Aggie explained, "When I pull it out of my nail pouch, if it's pointed toward me I throw it away. If it's pointed toward the house, then I can use it!"

The second Aggie got real excited and called him all kinds of names, explaining, "Don't throw away those nails that are pointed toward you! They're for the other side of the house!!"

Execution

A Florida State student, a Kansas State student, and an Aggie had all commited horrendous crimes and were going to be shot.

The FSU guy was brought up and blindfolded. The general shouted, "Ready ....... aim..." and the FSU guy yelled, "Huricane!!," everybody ducked, and he ran away free.

Dismayed at losing their first prisioner, the guards brought up the KSU student with renewed vengence. They blindfolded him and the general commanded, "Ready......aim....." and the KSU guy shouted, "Tornado!!" and fearing for their lives, everybody ducked, and he ran away free.

Well, the Aggie has been watching all this and starts thinking, "They all yelled natural disasters and they got away, so I will too." So they brought him up and blinded folded him, the general shouted, "Ready ...... aim...." and the Aggie screamed, "Fire!!"

Stripes

An Aggie had just completed his studies and was awarded a BS Degree in mechanical engineering. He was immediately hired by the Texas highway department.

His job was to paint the yellow stripe down the middle of the highway. After three days, his boss called him in and advised him that he was no longer needed.

When the Aggie inquired as to the reason for his dismissal, the boss replied, "On your first day here, you painted three miles of stripe, which is good. On your second day, you painted two miles; not as good, but still acceptable. Today, you only painted one mile. This is too far below our standards."

The Aggie accepted the explanation, saying on his way out the door, "Well, alright, but I want you to know, it wasn't my fault. The paint can kept getting farther away."