So, what is Gay Pride? Some may ask this question thinking "how can someone be proud of something so shameful?" These people think that gays revel in their rebellion against God and Nature as well as society like defiant children. Furthermore, they contend that gay people choose their sexual orientation with the same decisiveness as with choosing a career path, what kind of car to buy or whether to buy chocolate or strawberry ice cream. Now, to the people on the 'outside' the situation can appear that way. Heck, it can even appear that way from the gay person's view point. It did for me.
I used to say I 'turned gay' because I had such a lousy experience with girls. No, it was not sex or even dating. I never had a chance to have any kind of dating relationship with the girl of my dreams in high school. Before the summer of 1981, I was friends with the girl of my dreams - at least I thought so. Come September when I saw her again, she acted as she never saw me before. Any conversation attempts were cut short because she nervously had to 'go'. Soon, her girl friends are confronting me telling me to leave her alone and treating my like some sort of creep who preyed on girls only to use and lose them or something like just wanting sex. It was very nasty.
The above situation was dramatic and it made a great scapegoat turning to homosexuality. At least, that is how I put it to my mother, anyway. However, I was only fooling myself with this claim. A closer look proves a different story.
My same-sex attractions attraction dates back as far back as fifth grade! While these attractions back then were not sexual or romantic, I did think some boys were 'pretty' and would sit next to them, or play favorites for them. I once told my older brother that I thought the boy up the street - a rowdy kid - was pretty. He teased me and said I was in love with the boy. Once, that boy had talked to me and I ran and told my mother excitedly that the boy had talked to me. My brother teased me about that also. When I told my mother I thought the boy was 'pretty', she said I should not say boys are pretty but that they are handsome. She did not say anything about it being 'gay'.
There were times when me and my brother westled playfully with some of the neighborhood kids. It was one time when of my brother's friends had me pinned down and was sitting on my back...and I did not want him to get off of me. No, I did not have a 'hard' on but yet I felt something. I was not yet sexually developed as I was no older than 11 at that time.
My attractions to boys - and later men - stayed with me even though I was very much attracted to girls both sexually and romantically later in my adolescent years. So as for my just turning gay out of some sort of spite, I cannot trully make that claim. So what do you tell a guy who has had feelings toward guys every since childhood?
Of course, boys having being educated both in the classroom and on the playground that being gay is bad - very bad - take on a militant stance as well as an insecurity and feel that anything even remotely seeming gay is taboo. Of both the classroom and the playground, it is the playground where one really learns just how bad it is to be gay! Oh those scouging workd: fag or queer hurt the most no one wanted to be labeled as such and fights would surely breakout over it. Who knows what words they use today! Perhaps back-door boy, carpet-muncher or cock-sucker, the list can go on so why even bother? The point is that these words are meant to demean, to hurt, to traumatize and leave a lasting impression.
It is against this that my rage surges forth, against these self-appointed judges who arrogantly take authority they have no right nor worthiness to take and I demand an explaination: Who the fuck gave you the right to judge? To throw these words like sticks and stones?. Don't they dare say God! Contend as they may that God condemned homosexuality but they are just like the kids on the playground with their hateful words except that they dress their hate and contempt toward gays with bible versus thus dragging God as if they could draft him into their ranks and make him out to share their very hate. WHAT ARROGANCE! Do you think anyone can make God confirm thier hate and think he will actually back it up, just because they believe what they want and manipulate something God said to mean what they wish? Oh I really love the way someone invoked an Old Testament passage which says homosexual interaction is punishable by death - and used it as their backing while saying Matthew Sheppard got what he deserved. What sacrifice did that person make for Matthew? The God whom these self-rightous christian bigots think is actually backing their judgemental stance against Sheppard sacrificed his son, Jesus for Matthew just as much as he did for these people doing all the judging. Whether Matthew went to Heaven of Hell is a matter between him and God! Those nasty people who had the gull, the calloused heart and the self-serving interest to go to Sheppard's funeral and pronounce that he was "in hell were he belongs" do nothing to further God's cause to bring homosexuals to Jesus. They are to busy hating them for that. They probally think that God does not want to save them because they themselves just assume that gays all burn in hell. Perhaps if they would read their bibles without the veil of hate they would see that such is not the case.
These wrongfully judgemental phonies do nothing but fuel the rebellion being staged by the gay communities. Not only do they give gays more reason to fight back, they also vilianize Christianity, God and his people who really do care about the plight of all humanity including homosexuals. When it comes down to the wire, homosexuality is not the real issue with God, sin is.
So I ask again: What is Gay Pride? Yes it is a rebellion. Stonewall was just the beginning of the Gays' Civil War against unjust treatment. It was the battle cry against the evil - and yes, dammit, I mean evil - being heaped upon them.
So you say being gay is a sin and that they should not be proud of it. Now you answer me this: If being gay is a sin, why do you who see gay people in sin push them further into it with your assessment of them based on your own selfish and hateful interests rather than on God's main objective: to bring them to salvation?
Consider this illustration: If you see a building on fire, do you mock, condemn, jeer and call names to those who are trapped? What about if they are unaware of the danger? Would not you seek to alert the ones who are not aware of the present danger so they can vacate the building? If you had a cell phone or saw someone who did, would you not seek to call the fire department? If there was a ladder or a water hose nearby, wouldn't you use these to help those inside? All the while you were trying to help these people to saftey, would you be condeming them for living in the building?
Some gay people feel trapped and those who are quick to condemn them are all thinking that these people simply need to "get over it" or "not give in". Why not try telling these things to those trapped in the building? What do you say to the gay person who has done everything short of suicide to try not to be gay? "Kill yourself"? Whose interest would you be serving in telling him that?
Now let me ask you this: Since all the so-called shame of homosexuality comes from your personal hate and homophobia toward gays and not from any loving person who seeks to guide these people to safety how can you expect these people not to defiantly raise their fists against you and your condemning words and actions?
Gay pride is indeed defience. It is defiance against PEOPLE who self-appoint themselves judges pass judgements based on their own hateful standards. It is defiance against religous people who ALSO self-appoint themselves judges pass judgements based on their own sinful standards independently from and unauthorized by God. Finally, it is also defiance against a counterfiet god made out to be the real God. To those Christians who have misrepresented God and made him after your image, your words and deeds are not worthy of thier attention and you know what? Your contemptious actions are also against God and what he stands for. How can you blame gays for their Gay Pride when your attempts to shame them come from your own sin?
Not to long ago, I had talked to a Christian friend from a church I attend off and on and, concerning gay people, he lamented that far too many Christians fail when it comes to dealing with such people even when the Christians mean well. All that seems to come of it is more ammo for the gay peoples' assertion that being gay is not a sin and that Christians are just bigots who use God as a back-up.
Perhaps one of the most atrocious things I have heard come from the Christian camp is the declaration in both speech and signage that Matthew Sheppard is in Hell. Maybe that is the case but such exploitation is disgusting!. How about if I went up to the families of the Columbine victims and started going "If your son/daughter got what they had coming and are in Hell!"
Let me take a momentary detour because I have a confession regarding Columbine High: I was very judgemental of Columbine, not specifically that particular school but because of my long standing contempt toward high school culture.
I am glad that I have 'cooled my heels' about the Columbine tragedy but I still blame it at least partly on the cruel culture that is so prevailent in high school - the taunting, gossiping, labeling, slandering and bullying - all the accepted traits are regarded as par to the course. I am glad that I can look at Columbine from a standpoint of love and not judgement. While high school culture has a lot to answer for, I can see that educating children to be respectful of each other is an imperative especially in high school which is the gateway into the world, like leaving the nest to make your own way in life. There are consequences in the world for the actions which are permitted in high school. Such actions could bring lawsuits, jail time, sexual harrasment charges and loss of employment, just to name some. High School should be a place where education about these grave consequences takes place as well as some form of discipline for violations. End of detour.
Having said that, do you think I would be right to mock the Columbine tragedy by exploiting the victims and parading banners at their families' funerals saying that their children are in Hell (or "in Hell where they belong" to quote the person who condemned Matthew Sheppard)? I don't think so even though I have disdain for High School culture. Just because you may disdain the gay culture it does not give you a right to be cruel and unkind anymore than me doing so toward the families of the Columbine victims.
So lastly, I ask again; What is Gay Pride? It is the gay population's assertion against the world's unjust assessment against them. It is them collectively standing up and saying "We are people and we deserve to be treated as such!" and "We have a voice and have a right to be heard!" Gay Pride is the the gay community's declaration that they were created by God (and yes, they are even if you believe he did not intend them to be gay) and they too have something to offer and contribute. It is the assertion by human beings they will not let other human beings determine their worth or lach therof just because they are different. Right and wrong are not the issue when it comes to this. For religious fanatics who are contending that homosexuality is a sin but doing so in their own sinful interests, the issue is not really God's condemnation it and desire to save people. Rather it is about these people's own agenda and ego. The real issue with Gay Pride is human beings demanding to be treated as human beings.
