School

Are you involved in your child's school?  As long as there is not a court order prohibiting the non-custodial parent from doing so, he/she has this right.  It is called FERPA. 

To become involved, we did the following:

The child's other parent may resent a "step" parent's involvement.  However, if you  have your spouse's support, continue to stand by his/her side for parent-teacher conferences, help your stepchild with homework, etc.   Maybe one day your stepchild's other parent will see your involvement as beneficial to his/her child and realize that it isn't a bad thing that so many people care about his/her child and appreciate it rather than resent it...maybe, maybe not...don't hold your breath.

You may or may not be met with cooperation from the school.  However, we have never had any problem with my stepchildren's school and teachers.  It has all been very positive.  When they mail us information, they even address it to both bof us.  I, as the children's stepmother, have never been excluded during communications with the school.  If you do run into a problem with the school, read FERPA.  Ensure you are not violating any part of this Act and forward a copy of it to your child's school.  Advise them that you would like to exercise your rights according to this Act.  Contact an attorney for information on FERPA if you feel your rights are being violated. 

	First, contact the school and your child's teacher.  (We did this by letter.)  Let them know who your child is and express your desire to be involved in your child's education and to meet with them at parent-teacher conferences (we do this separately from the other biological parent ).
	Request that copies of any school newsletters, report cards, school photo order forms, etc. be mailed to you.  (We give the school a small fee at the beginning of the school year to cover the postage.)   This gives you additional contact with the school and is much better than waiting for the other parent to provide it to you, when they decide to do it and if they decide to do it.
	We also sent a letter to the school for my stepchildren's files that included contact information for their non-custodial biological parent and step-parent.   Even if their custodial parent did not include us on the emergency card, we expressed our wishes to the school and provided them with the information should they choose to use it.
	My husband let the school know that I (stepmom) could represent him should he be unavailable.   We have medical authorization forms and (notarized) power of attorney paperwork indicating the same.
	If there are any problems that you feel might affect your stepchild's behavioral or academic progress, let their teacher know.   Be honest without derogatory comments about the other parent (bite your tongue if you have to).
	Ask your child about his/her day at school.   Help them with homework if the parenting time schedule allows.
	Attend the school's Open House that most schools have annually.  It is a great way to make your presence known and to start forming a relationship with your child's teacher.
	Take turns with the other parent taking your child on the school field trips.  We have not been able to do this as of yet, though we have asked many times.
	Make your best effort.

Contact an attorney with any questions you may have.  Review your state laws.  Each state may differ; each school may differ.

My stepdaughter's preschool teacher told my husband and I that he was the first non-custodial parent she had seen come to a parent-teacher conference (and her first students were now sophomores in high school).  I hope that more non-custodial parents will take the effort to do this.