Swashbuckling
-
Guest Lecturer: The Dread Pirate Roberts.
This subject consists
of intensive swordplay training, with a solid basis in witty repartee.
Students are expects
to provide their own thigh-high leather boots (or shoes with big buckles);
pet ferret; parrot; cutlass/rapier/dagger/blunderbuss/pistol; rapier wit.
Puffy shirts are optional.
Scurvy and How To Hide The Symptoms
An essential
subject for those who end up ship-bound and scurvy-ridden but still want
to appear attractive.
Jumping Off Things
- Guest Lecturer:
Professor Jack Handy.
Includes the practical
areas of Cutting Ropes And Swinging Across A Ship and How To Slash A Sail
Without Falling To Your Bloody Death. Also involved are theoretical studies,
such as How Many ‘Rs’ Do I Put In My ‘Aaaaarrrrrrrrgh’?
Sailing Skills, Semaphore and Knots: The Boring Parts of Piracy
Dull subjects
that might save your life one day (or just give you a chance for a nap
or get rid of your hangover).
Running with Swords: A Recipe for Disaster
- Guest Lecturer:
'Smiley' Bob.
Basic sword safety.
Includes a the subject "Diving Into The Water With A Knife Between Your
Teeth".
Egocentricism
and Single Combat
Point of honour
or just plain silly?
Mutineers: Know Your Legal Rights
- Guest lecturers:
the Crews of Captain Kidd’s ships.
All pirates should
know their rights.
Slavery and Cannibalism: Commonsense versus Temptation
The eternal
quandary: to sell or to eat? Resolved!
Cussing
and Cursing
Learn the lingo of
a real salty sea-dog.
Guest lecturer: Pirate
Captain John Russel, who came
up with this little gem: “You dog! You son of a bitch! You speckle-shirted
dog! I’ll drub you, you dog, within an inch of your life and that inch,
too!”
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