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*you know you're a redneck when... (page 3) The third grade teacher says little Bubba could be a mathematical genius because he's got thirteen fingers. Fifth grade was the best six years of your life. A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack. One of your kids was born on a pool table. Your lifelong goal is to own a fireworks stand. Someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor. You think the Mountain Men in Deliverance were just "misunderstood". If you refer to the fifth grade as, "your senior year". You dated your daddy's current wife in high school. Your aunt and your grandmother went to the funeral and had a fight over who gets to be the widow. Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater. :: next (and its raccoon tonight!) :: return to quicksink (this here's my new banjo!) |