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*redneck jokes (pagina uno) Ever wondered what's wrong with your next-door neighbours with pitch-forks and a pig farm? Ever wondered if, you too, are one of them? Find out here. �return to quicksink |
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*you know you're a redneck when... (page 1) More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame. Your home has more miles on it than your car. You've ever shot anyone for looking at you. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list. You burn your front yard rather than mow it. Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash. You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap. Your good deed for the month was hiding your brother for a few days. Your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. You stand under the mistletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Sue-Ellen to walk by. The flood history of the area can be seen on your living room walls. There is a gun rack on your bicycle. Your wedding was held in the delivery room. Your house still has the"WIDE LOAD" sign on the back. Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen. You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs. Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction. You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph. You can get dog hair from out of your belly button. You take a six-pack cooler to church Your family tree has no forks. The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it. :: next>> (Betty- get the rifle...) :: return to quicksink (hey Auntie Sue...!) |