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*lawyer jokes Lawyers; can't live with them, can't live without them (if your Robert Blake). Let's make a little fun out of this scum (I didn't mean that, so don't sue me)! �return to quicksink |
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*lawyer jokes (only page) Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start! Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying? A: His lips are moving. Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the dog. Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers? A: Professional courtesy. Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand. Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? A: Cut the rope. Q: Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? A1: Take your foot off his head. A2: No. Good! Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff. Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"? A: There was an empty seat. Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulances. Q. Where can you find a good lawyer? A. In the cemetary Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night. Q. How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? A. Heck, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant. Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle. "You seem to have more than the average share of intelligence for a man of your background," sneered the lawyer at a witness on the stand. "If I wasn't under oath, I'd return the compliment," replied the witness. "How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. "My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question." :: joke index (smoking isn't bad!) :: return to quicksink (that'll be $1,999 plus service fees) |
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