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*you know you're a redneck when... (page 6) Double By-Pass Surgery is only done when it's shown on The Learning Channel. You share the Recovery Room with a sick cow. Incest's a "family thing" The bill is figured either in dollars or chickens. Hospital food consists of picking your own corn on the roof. Ambulance is a mule driven buckboard with a spinning lantern. Nurses wear flour sack uniforms and look like burned out cloggers. Maternity Room is a do-it-yourself with fresh straw, a jack knife and a string. Your Proctologist, who watched Deliverance 200 times, asks you if can squeal like a pig. Surgical instruments include a stick of dynamite and a chain saw. You re-use dental floss to save money. Your bumper sticker reads "If you're missing your cat, look in my treads. " You can identify your friends by the sound of their mufflers. You think OFF is a fine smelling cologne. You've ever invited friends over to show off what's left of the squirrel that you shot with your deer gun. The idea for the Budweiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle. You might be a Jedi Redneck if... You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok... without using the word "chicken". You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks. You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets. :: next :: return to quicksink |