Once upon a time in the deep, deep South, there lived a man named Satan. Now, one day, while the lord of the underworld was flipping through the channels on t.v., he found the most evil woman he had ever seen. Her name was Martha Stewart. Satan sent a letter to Martha's agent proposing marriage, and Martha was delighted to hear that the master of all terror wanted to marry her. So, almost immediately, they were hitched. It was wedded bliss, until the birth of their demonic daughter: Avril.
Disgusted by the sight of the hideous baby, they dropped her off in the home of a Canadian family, the Lavignes. This couple, though obviously frightened by this ugly, ugly child, took her in and raised her as their own daughter. Unfortunately, little Avril's demonic lineage caused her to become arrogant, vain, cocky, and delusional. She became a horrible child and, despite having absolutely no talent, went on to build her career.
Avril went on to record her first album, Let Go. In various interviews, Avril claimed to have written all the songs herself, though the credits on the CD obviously stated that she had a whole team of songwriters helping her. While making up lies and pulling song lyrics out of her ass, Avril managed to get such a cult following that she began to say that she invented punk for this day and age, all the while causing poor Sid Vicious to just toss and turn in his grave. Avril didn't seem to get the fact that she was making pop music, but no matter how many times the antis tried to stop her, she wouldn't stop. And thus, the legacy was born.
As for Satan and Martha Stewart, their relationship began to crumble soon after they gave Avril to the Lavignes. They filed for divorce, siting "Child problems".
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